Hey! I've had AA for years, and very rarely have I been able to approach a girl that I thought was attractive. There would be days that I would say, this is the day. Today I will go out and overcome my fear...and then I would chicken out once I saw a cute girl.

The thing is though, I believe during each of these times, there was a feeling in the back of my mind that I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Like when you know your lying to yourself. I'm sure everyone here has experienced that before.

My question is, when did you know that this really WAS the day you would overcome your AA? Was it a gradual change or something that just suddenly clicked?

Approach Anxiety will never go away

it's a matter of taking action

I approach all the time. If you throw me into a room I can talk up everybody..people think i'm all outgoing and stuff..But i'm still have AA like crazy i just don't care and approach and start getting to know them

I've thought my AA was gone before, and then it suddenly appears days later. It won't disappear. And that's good because it would suck if it wasn't there. AA is better than most people make it out to be. I look forward to the jittery, butterflies in my stomach moments. They are the fun ones. If it wasn't for moments like that life would be boring and monotone, but with emotion so monemotion. Thats not even fun to say. Worse to imagine. When you look at it like that and realize the worst thing that could happen realisticly is she says she is busy and walks off. Suddenly there is nothing to worry about. That is the day you overcome your AA and it is no longer is a limiting factor. In summary, just go for it.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but Approach Anxiety is something that you will always have. It does not matter who you are or what your level of experience is, as long as you are facing new situations (such as approaching new women) there will always be a feeling of uncertainty and doubt.

The difference between the men who are good with women, and those who are beat by their approach anxiety is that men with some experience understand that they can't always win. If they fail, they move on, while learning something from the situation. If they win, well, game on.

Check books from Susan Jeffers about fear, and you will learn a lot.

If you have questions send me a message.

Good luck