God I love being rejected.

Seriously.

I’ve written about this before, but I really want to dig deep into this because I see so many men being held back by this completely irrational fear of rejection and it’s just such a crying shame because once you get over it, once you get past that slump, your life takes off like never before.

You’ll find yourself doing things so amazing you’ll look back in tears at how you spent your entire life suppressing yourself.

Scared of Being Rejected?
I’ll always remember M.

He was one of my earliest clients, back when the Centered Man Project was just a skeleton (To my old old old readers – remember those days? Haha!)

M was not an average-looking guy. He was actually a ridiculously handsome guy. So much so that my first reaction when taking him out was ‘the hell do you even need me for? Just stand there and look pretty until something happens!’

In any case, M had the crippling fear that most men – no matter how average or attractive have – the fear of being rejected.

It was a fear that I too struggled with throughout my teenage years.

But here’s the thing – whenever I ask a new client what rejection is, no one can quite define it.

It seems to be like the lord Voldermort of everyday life.

Everyone kind of knows what it is, but can’t quite speak it out loud.

Now let’s go a bit deeper brother…

When no one can quite define something in clear terms, it means it’s just a feeling. And how can you define a feeling?

Now, a feeling is open to interpretation.

Anxiety can be reinterpreted as excitement.

You actually have way more control over your emotions than you think…

And if fear of being rejected is causing you pain, understand that it only does so because you allowed it to.

Let me explain…

How Do I Get Rejected?
I want to start by breaking it down rationally before I even begin to get into the deeper, more spiritual side of this.

Ever seen a soccer game? (Football for you Europeans)

Imagine this star player kicks the ball.

The ball trajectory seems on point – it’s headed right for the open net.

But, what’s this?! A tornado hits the field at that very moment – and knocks the ball clean away.

Is the player going to go home feeling like crap about himself? Is he going to walk away feeling belittled, defeated and hurt? Probably not.

So why the hell do you collapse in on yourself over something you cannot control?!

Derp!

Newsflash: you have no control over how people respond to you. The only thing you have control over is how you choose to respond to the world!

Will you show up your best, most magnificent self? Or will you hide, avoid, be mediocre and stay small?

The choice is yours, but I promise you it’s a lot more fun from where I’m standing!

Sign Me Up – I Want To Be Rejected!
“When you don’t realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you remember where you come from, you become disinterested, amused. Kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified like a King, and when death comes, you are ready.” – Tao Te Ching

Now the deeper stuff shall we?

The reason you can’t define rejection is because rejection doesn’t actually exist.

Or, put in other words – you cannot actually be rejected, you can only reject yourself.

What?! Mind = Blown.

Yep, you’ve been rejecting yourself all these years. That’s why you feel crappy.

You aren’t actually afraid of rejection, you’re afraid of putting yourself on the line.

“Well, I have put myself on the line and everybody laughed at me”.

No, you didn’t put yourself on the line.

You didn’t want in a straight line, look deep into her eyes and say “I want you. I came here to speak to you. I don’t care what you, or anybody else thinks. I am a man and I want you.”

You didn’t go over to those guys with a big, sincere smile and say “You guys actually seem like a ton of fun and I’m out looking to make some new friends, mind if I join you for a drink?”

You didn’t say “I deserve this raise because I’ve been busting my ass, because I’m the first one in the office in the morning and the last to leave at night. I deserve this because I know where I’m going and God himself would have to stand in my way before I give up on my goals and dreams.”

Instead you danced around the subject. You hinted at what you wanted. You meekly looked up with a glass half-empty and like a beggar, hoped you would get what you want…

So that you could feel good about yourself.

But how can others make you feel good about yourself when you’ve already rejected yourself?

Understand; No one can give you what you are looking for. There is no external salvation, only internal honesty.

To be a Heart-Samurai is to stand face to face with yourself, understand who you are, and walk your path in the world.

When coming from that angle, you can’t ever be rejected, because there’s simply no such thing as rejection! You are complete as you are – you are the guarantor of your own self-worth, the key-holder of your own happiness and your security is unassailable.

People can love you or hate you, and that’s okay – they’re still invited to be part of the adventure that is your life.

When that happens, there is no more pain, no more fear and no more sorrow – only amazing adventures and deep life-lessons.

Trust me – I’ve been rejected 2671 times and I’m still loving life!

Your fan,
PatAnanda

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