Ok my questions are:

1.)Can I use this story?
2.)How can I improve this story?
3.)Should I leave any parts out?

Ok this stories kind of something I think I wouldnt want to be telling as certain details are very personal but other parts of the story I think are quite intresting and funny, its just he circumstances surrounding the story are quite depressing/disturbing.

Ok so last thursday I am happily asleep in my bed when I get woken up by this voice. I wake up and theres this policeman standing over me! I was like WTF, what did i do? ive been good recently. Anyway he tells me he needs me to unlock the door and to get dressed and just stands there. Now I'm guessing he thought I was sleeping in my boxers but no i'm in my birthday suit so I get up with my duvet wrapped around me and he gets the picture and goes downstairs. I pull on a pair of jeans commando styly and go down to sort shit out. Anyway the two policeman were amazded that I hadnt heard them knock or woken up when they broke the window to get in! Here's the bad part you see the reason they had broken in is because my Mum had rung the ambulance service because she had taken and overdose and then passed out. So I had unlock the door and go make a list of all the medication shes on (shes on alot of anti-depressants etc.) and then they took her off in an ambulance. Now it all good because she is fine now and I can talk about how I got a friend to give me a lift up to see her on Sat and spent a few hours with her, she was quite tearful etc. and how on mothers day I cooked her a really special meal and she was much happier etc.

Still I dont like telling this kind of story even to friends sometimes because I always think I will come accross as fishing for sympathy etc. and it is quite private too! Also my mother has done this many times throughout my life so I am aware that it is more shocking to others than it is to me. I grew up with it so to me it happens, she goes to hospital, comes home and everythings better!

Anyway I am quite comfortable talking about it and do think me waking up naked with the old bill standing over my bed and sleeping through them breaking a window is quite funny y'know and I shouldnt have a problem telling this story with my friends etc. but can I tell it when a girl im gaming is around, obviously im not talking a girl ive just met and using this as my 1st story. I guess it might help with rapport or something, i dunno. Just its a pretty big event that has just happened to me so obviously it something I should talk about in someway as it is whats on my mind!

So yea there it is what are people thoughts on whether this story should be told? and why? also improvements, omissions and rephasing would be great. Never been a great story teller at the best of times.

Basicly is there a way I can play up the funny/intresting side of the story, play down the depressing side whilst showing my sensitive side and how protective I am over my mother! So I can actually tell the story rather than keep it to myself. The other reason I would want to get this off my chest early with the people im close too is so that when I've had a few drinks it doesnt play on my mind and I dont get in a bad state. Possibly end up over-emotional and blurting it out in some needy way! Or spilling my heart to some poor soul who doesnt know me!

I'd save this for the comfort-building stage. Emphasize the humor in the situation, and if she inquires about the mom part, then get the sympathy vote by revealing your tortured soul under the tough, alpha exterior.

"We lost a lot of good men out there . . ."
"Playing for the Yankees?"

(props if you catch the movie reference)

_________________
Mahalo,
BSG

Right, ill remember that and wedding crashers BTW