good little tid bits:

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005


> Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed
> at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man
> approached, she extended her hand for the ticket;
> instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
> Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to
> see your ticket not your stub."
> Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was shopping for a turkey
> at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big
> enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
> these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,"
> No ma'am they're dead."
> Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and
> the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his
> window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
> said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast
> as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he
> sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
> Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along
> on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low
> Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
> Ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
> are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes
> up. The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the
> truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
> "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
> delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
> AND NOW........FOR THE..........BEST ONE..#1 SMART ASS
> ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
> for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
> that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass
> guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
> "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
> from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
> class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
> silence is finally restored, the teacher smiles
> knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
> says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with
> your other hand.
>

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

That's awesome!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

aWsem!1!

dAmmn it'S haard too rwite wiith one haand hortinn fromm the tets and th eothor fromm...

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http://www.solomonseagal.com

Anyone can walk into a bar and pick up a random girl.
The trick is to make the experience unforgettable to her.
A real PUA will make every women he encounters feel like she experience something once in a lifetime.

The last one was the best one...lol

i needed a good laugh... that was amazing!

haha thanks Locke

I asked for these because i see them as good text messages/email/myspace type "openers".

As someone else mentioned in another post a great way to get the conversation juices flowing in others is to tell a random joke.

I tried this using a bad joke and it worked like magic, so i figured id re-try my experiment with some of these.

Thanks again.

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

Reading this, I just snarfed my water...thanks Locke

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Life is a game. Win.

hell yea, not a prob guys.

sometimes I'll write em down on paper and mush it up...then tell em you found it somewhere cool (or someone gave it to you) and just read the thing off. much easier than memorizing, plus it gives you a good story to continue on with.

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]