Low-pressure confidence boosters in day game approach?



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:43 am 
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Whenever I want to approach a cute girl, I put so much pressure on myself that I often back out of the approach entirely. I need some low-pressure approach exercises that will enable me to build my confidence in at least talking to random girls and help me get my foot in the door, before opening her up to more meaningful conversation and flirtation.

FYI, I'm talking about day game in a public environment. Places like the mall, community college, etc. Not parties.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:44 pm 
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If you're in the mall, the best way to get rid of your approach anxiety is to first stroll around a few clothes shops and strike up conversation with the sales girls. They are there to help and are completely non threatening. They're happy to talk to you because it's their job.

I often just walk in, grab a random shirt, walk up to a sales girl and ask her to suggest something to go with it. Or whatever.

Once you've done this a few times and you're in a talkative, relaxed and sociable state, you can carry that vibe out of the shop and into cold approaching cute girls outside.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:34 pm 
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Quote:
Whenever I want to approach a cute girl, I put so much pressure on myself that I often back out of the approach entirely. I need some low-pressure approach exercises that will enable me to build my confidence in at least talking to random girls and help me get my foot in the door, before opening her up to more meaningful conversation and flirtation.

FYI, I'm talking about day game in a public environment. Places like the mall, community college, etc. Not parties.
I wrote an article 6 ways to combat approach anxiety on my website (in sig).. search for it. It basically has a step by step process you can use (make eye contact with woman, look at woman, say hi, etc)

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 8:51 pm 
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Turn the whole thing into a game for yourself to start with. Take the pressure off the end goal of securing a date/number.

e.g. if you have a buddy you go sarging with, before approaching a girl give a list of random words you need to fit into the conversation, person to get the least points buys the drinks later. Fair enough it will make you look like a dick sometimes in conversations with the girls but at least you start to get rid of the approach anxiety. Focusing on the words you have to fit into the conversation rather than routines or lines you need to come out with will take the pressure off. Before long you'll see you aren't getting approach anxiety anymore and you can start to have beneficial conversations instead.

Another thing is to set yourself targets for minimum number of openings on an outing. Focusing on quantity not quality gets rid of the pressure of making each open meaningful. Same as above, you then switch your style to have meaningful conversations when you've approached enough girls that the anxiety is gone.

You aren't going to be an expert from the start, so why not solely focus on the approach anxiety at the first stage and work on the rest later. One less thing to pressurise yourself with then.

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