Cold approaches scare the crap out of me



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:53 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:23 pm
Posts: 7
I tend to have a large fear with cold approaches.
I believe it is due to my lack of self confidence. If a girl initiallly
Smiles at me or shows IOIs or I already know her from social
Circles... then I will be 80 percent more
Likely to game her. But women who do not give iois or I
Have no initial connection with cause AA for me. Any
Tips on how to overcome... Books to read?
(I am currently reading styles life challenge)


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:52 pm
Posts: 291
Pretty normal. Search for Approach Anxiety. Lots of interesting posts on the subject.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:38 pm 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
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Location: Chicago, IL
Bro, I want you to get something through your head.

"Confidence" is a fucking state of mind. It is NOT something you do or don't have. It is a feeling caused by a series of chemical reactions in your brain. It is NOT something you do or do not have. You HAVE felt CONFIDENT before in your life. You KNOW what it feels like to be confident. I guarantee, not just for YOU but for EVERYONE that you have felt confident doing something or saying something at some point in your life. Sit down for a minute and think to yourself the last time you felt extremely confident in doing something... and remember HOW YOU FELT at that particular time. Realize where the feeling of confidence started in your body. For me, personally, it is like a BLAST of energy that shoots up through my back and into my fingers. I've had some guys I've trained say it feels like a certain type of "lightness" in their body, or a ray of light shining onto them. It's different for everyone but figure out what the feeling of "confidence" means to you.

People can change the way they feel very quickly. Most of the time, its unconscious. You have no control over it. However, if you know what the feeling of "confidence" feels like, you can make yourself feel confident at any time you would like.

Your CONFIDENCE came through your COMPETENCE (understanding) levels growing. Example... first time you rode a bike, you were scared as fuck. right? You had no clue what to do... You might have fallen down a few times or whatever... but every time you got on that bike, it got easier and easier to ride and you felt more confident in your ability to ride that bike. Same thing with approaching women.

You will ALWAYS feel approach anxiety. I've been studying and practicing pick-up for almost 5 years now and I STILL get it... however, because I know what it feels like to be "confident," I have the ability to control these feelings. Like I said, people change the way they feel ALL THE TIME. Have control of your emotions and your feelings and you will notice it becomes much, much easier to approach.

Hope this helps you out man.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:05 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:03 pm
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Website: http://www.authenticpua.com/primal-seduction/
Location: London
Yep, you never really get rid of approach anxiety...but you can certainly make it a whole lot more manageable!

Check out this guide here, where I explain strategies for dealing with AA.

http://www.authenticpua.com/dating-arti ... ercome-it/


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:23 pm
Posts: 7
Thanks for the advice. You guys are right you know. I have to learn to
Overcome my approach anxiety...awesome posts btw. Good looks.


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