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I got this question yesterday or today "IDR", and I answered it already only because this situation is so common. So let me ask this to of the community...the guy this woman is talking about is to me a player and that is cool. But how is it that she can't see that she is using him, just as much as he is using her?
Subject: what are my options now?
Question: So I started talking to this guy and long story short.. one thing led to another and now we love each other and we ended up getting in a relationship.. we talk everyday we know each others weaknessess and strengths and accept them.. he's never dissrespected me by asking me to do anything sexual or send him anything innapropriate..we talked about our future together and he's said how he wants me as his future wife and mother of his children. And I'm always on his mind Because he always textes and calls me first. He said he doesn't want to ever let me go because I'm decent I have respect for myself I'm honest smart etc. The only flaw is that he lied to me about him seeing anyone else and then I found out he had been dating this girl fur tha past 6 or 7 months. When I confronted him about it first he got mad at me Because he knew I was in the right and he just got caught but after he finally admitted to cheating on her for me because he said his plan was to eventually break up with her for me because he would like to actually settle down with me and that he doesn't love her at all he just played her.. and I should tell her that he doesn't like her anymore and that its over(he doesn't want to Because jus recently he told her how much he loved her and would never cheat on her and they will last forever etc. Which according to him everything he said he didn't mean and he also said some pretty ugly things about her to me) I haven't told her yet and I don't know how I would go about doing it.. anyways.. now we are both single and were OK with that but we still love each other(or so I think he does) and we still talk about our future together and he still textes and calls me first.. and he agreed to being honest with me 100% of the time from here on out but I feel like I still can't trust him.. he said he wouldn't go after any other girl and do me like he did his other girlfriend bt I don't know if I wana believe that. We still act like were in a relationship but we know were both single.. but we agreed on being best friends/lovers.. is this bad idea? Is he using me? ..should we stick to being just friends? :/
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Answer: This happens all the time, and yes he is using you, just like you are using him...there is nothing wrong with being used however, because if someone can't use you, then you are usless to that person, "not" that you are usless as a person you understand? For now you are having fun and so is he; but if I were you I would not invest to much emotion into this relationship because someone is going to get caught holding the bag.
CHAT