First, my credentials. I've spend the last 7 years sarging in clubs, and also studying from the masters like Tyler, Mystery, Strauss ect.
It's a new year. I'm sure most guys on this site have the goal of improving their pickup skills and laying more chicks.
My personally, I'm not a natural. I started out being that guy standing in the corner, drink and hand, and watching the scene and rarely approaching.
Here are my most helpful, real world concept from someone that's NOT trying to sell you anything.
- There is no magic pill, period. Too often, I see guys getting caught up looking for that perfect opener, or that perfect PUA video that will change their life. IT DOESN'T EXIST. Tons of guys are selling stuff that says they know the secret to game. It's BS. Which leads to my next point.
- There is no substitute for in field experience. Wanna get better with chicks? Get out from behind the PC, turn off that PUA video, and get in field. Approaching 10 different women in a night will improve your game 10 fold then watching any video or post on the internet. There's no way around this fellas. While forums and videos have their place, if wanna get better at basketball you NEED to get on the court. It's same with game.
- Wanna become a master opener? Here's what I did: STOP LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT OPENER, and just open. Here are two keys.
1. If you wanna get really good at opening in a short time, go out for a weekend and just open. Don't worry about escalating or needing the conversation to "go" anywhere. Just enter, open, and as soon as the opener is over you can bounce and count that as a success. Too often, guys will not open because they're afraid they'll run out of things to say. By only focusing on the opener will take this pressure off your mind.
So go out this weekend and open 10 sets with your best opener. After a real short while, something clicks in your brain. "Opening is easy." And then you can move onto mid game.
2. The second key about openers is IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU OPEN WITH. I see way to many guys focus on finding some mythical opener that will open any set, anywhere, and cause her to drop her panties in 30 secs flat. It doesn't exist.
Have you ever seen the show Keys to the VIP? One of the challenges is to open a woman by insulting her. The point is, if they can open and hook a set by insulting a woman, it doesn't matter what you say. I've opened with "Hey, what are you drinking," "Hey, I think you're cute." I've also used opinion openers. It DOES NOT MATTER. What DOES MATTER, is how you open. I'll say that again. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU OPEN. WHAT DOES MATTER IS HOW YOU OPEN.
A "money" opener means nothing if your body language is bad, and you're talking too fast. Think of the difference between a guy like George Clooney in Oceans 11 opening a set, and a complete nerd.
The next time you open, focus on slowing your speech down, having strong body language. This will instantly improve your opening success rate.
I know you'll want to see an example of this. So here it is. While your watching, focus on little john. He's not particularly good looking. He's short. But his speech and his body language show that he thinks he's the man which is why he succeeds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIK8PdKwZUI
- This is a numbers game. Don't let anyone tell you different. Even the top PUAs in the world get shot down over and over. The difference is they're always approaching. If they lay 5-10 girls in a week, it's because they approached 100 girls or more that week.
This is because, LIFE IS A NUMBERS GAME. I don't care what it is, or what you do. Lebron doesn't hit 100% of his shots. Tiger doesn't win all the tournaments. The best investors in the world get it wrong a lot of the time. Game is no different. The more you approach, the more girls you'll fuck, period. Get the idea of a PUA who lays 90% of the girls he approach out of your head.
I don't care who you are. I'll guarantee that you can get laid in January. That's right, I guarantee it. All you need to do is approach as many girls as it takes, and you'll get laid. Even if you have the worst game ever! Approach 1000 girls, and at least 1 will F$%^ you. Remember, this is a numbers game. The beauty is that during all those approaches, your game will improve naturally. So the next 1000 you approach, then 5 will fuck you, then 10, then 20, then 50.
Think about this: Say you go out 3 times a week, for 3 hours. Say you do 5 approaches an hour. Let's be conservative, and say you only get 1 number an hour or 3 a night. That's 9 new numbers a week. That's 36 numbers a month. Say of those 36 numbers, only 4 girls end up fucking you. How many of your friends do you know that fuck 4 new girls a month? Not many I'll bet. Now imagine if you get 2 numbers per hour. That's 8 girls you could be fucking a month. I think you get the picture. If you want to fuck lots of girls, you need to put in the approaches! Period. There's no way around this my friends. The best PUA's have fucked more girls then you, but they've also been rejected waaaaaay more then you have.
Here's what I did to ensure I approached. I took out 200 bucks out and gave it to my buddy with instructions to give me back a certain amount for each approach. Let me tell you, this works!
- Don't take advice from a poor man on how to get rich. Many of your buddies may bag your desire to improve yourself and your game.
There are many reasons for this, but mainly it's because tons of dude have this ego driven self-delusion that they have great game, even though they don't get laid very often.
Don't take pickup advice from chicks. What a girl says she wants, and what she actually responds to are usually very different things. Don't take pick up advice from guys in long term relationships. Most of these guys never had good game to start with. And if they were good once, it's probably been years since they actually picked up a chick.
Here's the general rule: If someone isn't leading the type of sex life you wanna lead, don't take advice from them, period.
- Mid game: Here's a secret I learned about mid game. After I got good at opening, I realized I wasn't very good at transitioning from my opener and keeping the conversation going. Here's a secret I learned which helped me immensely. STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.
How do you do this? Easy. Say and do what would make you happy. Be self amused.
Too often I see guys talking and saying stuff that they think the girl wants to hear. STOP THIS! This is what 90% of guys out there do.
Stuff like: "So, where are you from? What do you do? Oh really? What kind of cat do you have? Blah, blah, blah."
They lead the same conversation with these girls that they'd have with their dentist.
Girls have heard this stuff from 1000 guys before you. You need to be different, and the good news is, it's not that hard to be different.
Instead of boring her, the next time you're in set say stuff that would amuse you.
Think about this: when you're talking with your buddies, do you filter yourself? Do you worry about what to say next? Do you "interview them" with questions? Or, rather, do you make the conversation fun by saying stuff that's funny to you?
Now which conversation would you rather have? A boring conversation you'd have with your dentist where you're filtering yourself, trying to talk about stuff your dentist likes?
Or would you rather be talking with your buddies, talking about stuff that amuses YOU!
Game is the same way. She'd much rather to a guy that's having a great time!
Do you think it'd be funny if you made a crack that she's trying to roofie your drink? Say it.
The other day I was talking to a chick, and an older guy around 60 came into the club. I interrupted her and told her that her dad was here and pointed him out. Why did I say it? Because I thought it was funny. Even if she got offended I wouldn't care because the point for me was to have a good time. And that's the most important thing.
If you're not having a good time, why would any chick wanna stick around? If you're having a good time, she's more like you have a good time and stick around.
Final thoughts.
- Get a good wing man. Find someone with similar intents in the game as you. Find a few guys you can bounce ideas off of, who are also trying to improve themselves in the game that are willing to go out multiple times a week.
- Go out at least 3 nights per week. More if you can. Thursday Friday Saturday are the best nights where I'm from.
- Work on your body language. Stand up straight. Don't lean in. Again, how would a guy like Danny Ocean stand and speak, vs a dork who's making his first approach ever?
- Slow down when talking.
- If you don't already, start working out at least 4 times per week. You'll feel better about your body, health, and just your over all mental outlook will improve which will spill over to your infield success.
I hope some of this helps you guys.
Best of luck to all you guys in 2013.
CHAT
