| I think there havent been answers yet because its kind of difficult to answer. So Im gonna try(hopefully not too late).
You can do many, many different things here and whats good for you depends on who you are and what you want and what you can do and on what happens and some factors beyond control.
"I cant think of anything good to say" is like ... the life essence of this forum : D. lol ok, im gonna buy myself candy if I explain this well.
In the statement itself is some kind of misconception. Think of game like learning to play guitar, just this time you really get chicks with it.
If you are good you can talk about how much you hate life and theyll think you are cool. If you are bad, well then you arent cool yet, nevermind.
So if you get at all what I am saying, this is why Ill keep advice here very general in hopes to give you a little headstart.
If I were you I would probably tend to stick to the more riskfree stuff. I dont think you want to look like you are hitting on someone. So smalltalk isnt that bad, and in your context you are not just gaming you are socializing. But you want some A. You want them to think you are cool. But you dont want them to think that you want them to think that you are cool, because thats not cool. The most direct way to do this is to be cool. I dont mean like sunglasses cool but think of the guys which make you go "wow, i really respect him"
how to do that is not a simple question without a simple answer. You have to be willing to do what you want to do, to be on your way, to not take shit from people, to ignore other peoples judgement and be able to apply your own... without being ignorant. Dont mistreat people without a reason and dont let anyone mistreat you, care for and protect people that are yours, ... stuff like that, much stuff, and in the real world everything can get very subtle, and is in general hard to fake. And you dont want to fake you want to be it because it makes the difference between a good and a bad life.
People make assumptions about you(and often incredibly accurate ones) based on what they observe. Some assumptions girls make create attraction. They see you making out with the cutest girl(DHV) on campus that "proofs" to them that you have to be attractive. You will lose that appeal to maybe even a negative one if they find out you just paid her.
Their attraction will fade if they find out they can manipulate you, because that proofs you are weak.
The interesting thing is that with practice you can a) simply fake being cool b) get cooler. So someone who knows what triggers attraction in a woman can pretty much force her to feel attraction if he knows what is attractive to her (I can think of "pre-selection" "status" "wealth", i suppose, and the symptoms of that like being challenging and confident), and is skillfull enough to display those subtle(=believeable).
The real power IMHO lies in displaying different DHVs quickly(you get in your bmw with the 2 cutest girl of campus which look like they are having great fun after you won some sportevent, you get the picture).
If you have smalltalk with your girls, cool, you are already in a conversation, you have opened and most likely transitioned. As soon as you are in a normal conversation where you can change topics freely you can try around and you will get better at creating A, and find out lots of cool stuff by accident.
okay, lets get more practical. whats good smalltalk? whats bad smalltalk? bad smalltalk is after what they think "wow, he is really nice and creepy" or "weeeew, he also has 23 courses". After good smalltalk theyll think your cool, or at least that you might be cool. So if you just going to share information you are not having an emotional impact at best you are gonna bore each other or you will be suspected of being an orbiter kind of chicken. So in general its better if you can talk about likes or dislikes, something she cares emotionally about, like music or dancing or what she wants to study and why. topics arent really that important, but some are easier some not.
Big one: Search for opportunities to play with them:
- neg (friendly, neverever hurt egos here) "woow, thats a cool drawing. did u do it yourself, or did your little sister help you?"
- misinterpret things (is she says she likes some professor you could say looking like shes a little bit of a freak "yeah... hes hot")
- she wants a pen you hold it out and than move it away when she grabsfor it
- a girl with high self esteem lets something fall 2 times you say "crappy motorics." or something, if you do it right girls dig that stuff
- act like you are a high status bitch, pretend they hurt your feelings or they are totally molesting you or misbehaving but be funny about it and happily arrogant
when you are playing with them you are not clowning. you are not trying to entertain them (at least primarily), you are trying to entertain yourself with them. a little bit of this stuff goes a long way.
in general(just some ideas):
- make fun of somebody (a prof maybe? not hateful but funny, and not too much because that might display insecurity, if u do it right it displays standards and power and stuff)
- make fun of something(if its funny)
- try to find out a little bit more about a girl, what do you want to do after college is a very normal question in most contextes, and can be very revealing and open a lot of threads, you really want to learn something here or at least be entertained, imagine "oh i want to be a doctor" "what kind of doctor" "a beauty surgeon?" "for real? (banter possible (lol, no, not about her body)). for the money or...?" "...yes" (dont be fooled by blockanswers she has to invest in the conversation else you are not having one) "no really why, dont you think 60 year olds with plastic fake smiles are strange? "(steering is gay in general but this is like provoking here I think) "No, I only want to repair like faces of people after accidents" SPAM?well*thank*you. the way you lead such a conversation reveals tons of stuff about you, some might be attractive
- listen in on other peoples conversations, i like to do that, one girl says "captain jack died" you go like "What, did you just say captain jack died?" "Yes, he had a bleeding in his brain" "Well fit. hihihi."
-talk about food, girls dig that, but be aware that this is fluff talk and in itself unlikely to create attraction, so tell her its ok she likes sushi, eventhough its disgusting
-traveling is another easy topic, at least if you are welltravelled (having travelled is a DHV so you want to have more experience than she for A)
-go away, do something else sometimes, just to keep independence and freshness
- if you dont feel good about a conversational thread change it
- tell something about yourself, about what you feel like or want to do or something, just have a reason to do so and its no use telling them if they dont care
- if you have attention and interest and a good story that subtle shows that you are cool in some way tell it
- look for transition points in what they say, if she says its very hot in italy and this guitar is italian you say "so, you are from italian?" make mental notes of things she mentioned you might use to transition to other topics
dont worry about connecting with her too much since its not so important at that point(in fact I think connecting early can be counterproductive if you dont have sufficient A yet)
that said BE WARNED: ATTRACTION IS ONLY ONE PART OF THE GAME
there is a difference between love and attraction and flirting and sex but bother about that later.
|