Okay heres my first post in this thread,
Im looking to finally get the women I want..everytime I try and make eye contact with a girl to see if she likes me she just looks away, no one seems to ever check me out which just affects my confidence even further.
Im determined to prove those people wrong who have put me down and accused me of being gay, Im determined to have 10 good years of dating various women before I decide to even settle down.
Every time I try and approach someone I go blank, even forget my own name I know if I get rejected it will put me off for life.
What also puts me off further is when they are in a group and the humilation of gettng put down will scar me mentally.
Tips on beating anxiety I need and also conversation and approach tips.

Cheers

For the approach anxiety, Google "parts therapy" it changed the lives of almoast everyone I have taught it too.

As for the eye contact, if a girl is looking at a guy constantly then looking away when he tries to lock eye contact that is an IOI.

As for conversation, here is a simple technique I have cultivated from personal experience which makes a night and day difference.

To open her you could say something as simple as "You want to know a secret about girls with red dresses" if she's wearing a red dress or find something else about her and keep her curious. A woman's instinctual curiousity leaves her with a burning desire to resolve unanswered questions.

As for general conversation, leave a lot of things open-ended in the discussion for her to be curious about (women are naturally curious). Make sure you give away as little at a time as possible so she has something to be curious about and get involved with. Also fill whatever you say with colorful emotion to make her constantly feel.

Instead making her sit there listening to you rant "I went to Vencice, Italy it was beautiful. I just spent two weeks there and we did X1, X2, X3, X4, X5."

Try like this...

You: “I just got back to the States”
Her: “Oh cool! Where did you go?”
You: “I went to Italy it was beautiful – We went hiking on some of the most amazing golden brown mountains in the world. there was gorgeous fields and mountains and immaculate architecture that just swept me away like nothing has ever done in my life.”
Her: “That sounds really amazing. What part did you go to?”
You: “Venice, I got to do some really wild stuff”
Her: “Cool! like what?”

With this you can make a conversation that would otherwise be boring (you ranting about your trip) into an engaging and interactive story which she feels like she is having input on even if you’re really controlling the conversation.

- Chris

Yea, I agree with taking a normal convo and turning it into a more engaging/exciting convo for the girl.

The biggest thing of all (and I know this because I still have AA...but getting better) is to just say "fuck it" and approach a girl. Not all approaches will work, but just like in anything else, practice makes perfect. Who cares if you crash and burn on a random at the mall (or wherever), just say fuck it and go on to the next girl.

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-Linwood

One thing that puts me off is when they are in a group, obviously if I make a move the group will see it.

group is easier to approach. i also feel myself approaching groups easier.
They are more open to you.

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" You see her , you want her , GET HER "

Couldnt do it again guys, seen about 2 girls that I liked the look of, but they didnt even make eye contact or even looked at me once, to them I virtually didnt exist so I thought theres no point wasting my time.

Read Impacts post and ask him questions! that guy is the master of day game.


approach-anxiety-day-game-impact-vt20965.html

In all honesty my luck will never change, potentially every girl in the world would be lucky to have me as I would always be sincere, honest and trustworthy towards them, but girls obviously like the arseholes who treat them like dirt, lie to them and two time them at every available opportunity.

so if u know where the problem lies... why don't u become an asshole?
why don't u stop being an ass-sucker niceguy? and u should not be phased at all if a girl doesn't look at u, its no real tell tale sign that she doesn't like u... if u have any ounce of sexual confidence in urself...go up to them and open.

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DJ The Great
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Im just beggining in pick up, but i use the 3 look rule, if you make eye contact three times then theres already attraction on some level.
As with the fact they dont make eyes contact doesnt mean they arent looking, maybe whenever you look theyve just looked away. Remember you have plausible deniability so what have you got to loose.

Yo! my friend i was in the same boat for a while growing up. I was known with many click's in highschool but always had a problem with the ladies. It all boiled down to not having confidence with girls. I never knew what to do or when to do it, to know if they where instested or not. I had self doubt and always had self fulfilling prophecies of failure in my mind. THEN!

i changed the way i thought about it. I started to realize i was a prize, i thought about all the major events in my life and how i was able to get through them. I thought about if today was my last day alive what i would do differently then i always had. I stoped caring what others thought of who i was and became the person i always wanted too. I lived for the moment because this is my life, i have control of it and no person friend or stranger will ever have power over my emotions by what they say or do towards me.

Now i care less if a girl is not intrested, i find a way to get them intrested. I have an addiction to the unkown, and every lady i see in life has an unkown outcome. I dont know how they will fit in my life but i want to find out.

Get in the frame of someone that does not care, dont take what happens personally take it as feedback so you know what you need to work on the most. Read the forums, learn some openers...pick 4-5 and practice them, read them into a tape recorder and listen to them. Learn to get a more confident walk and tone of voice. After you get this worked on your confidence level will increase, start learning routines and develop DHV stories.

The first few approachs are the hardest to overcome, then you will realize there is nothing to fear. Everything you need to get you started is here on the forums, you got it in ya, you can do it just believe in yourself more. You got this bro and you know it!

~ Mystic

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"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

Well the books tell you that you HAVE to get used to failing. If you're going to do it, then you will fail a fair few times before you succeed. The PUAs tell you that you have to treat it as a learning experience, analyze where you went wrong and do it better next time.

The way I've decided to try and look at it is "My fear of failure made me fail." If I didn't try, then I didn't get to take the girl home, which is the same result as if I'd tried and mucked it up, FAILURE. But if I go for it, I give yourself a chance of success, if you don't, I have made that chance 0%.

Perhaps you need to find yourself a non-local hunting ground to try stuff out, if you're scared that people laugh at you. Say another town 50 miles away or something, or go on holiday. If the people don't know who you are, then who cares? You'll never see them again.

I think you need to practice your conversational skills... Try pawning if you cannot open girl sets. Open a mixed set or an all guy set and from there go into the female sets. It will be easier. I never open girls that are alone. Groups are much better!

Phoenix

You seem to have a general lack of self-confidence judging by your posts. Like you feel that, no matter what, you're not gonna be able to make women like you. Just to quickly set that straight... YOU'RE WRONG! Sorry to be so blunt but any man can make any woman like him if he's good enough at this stuff.

If girls don't look at you you might feel that it's because you're not physically attractive. That if you haven't spoken to them yet that's the only criteria they have to go on. But girls are very rarely going to just eye you up out of the blue unless you look like Brad Pitt. It's up to you to approach them and make them attracted to you through things other than your looks. None of the great mpuas are particularly attractive. Have you ever seen pics of Style before he became involved with the community? Seriously... dress well and make the best of what you've got but don't worry that girls don't seem to find you physically attractive at first. Learn this stuff and become great at it and you're natural physical attractiveness won't mean a thing.

If you want girls to notice you without approaching them then dress well, work on your alpha male qualities (read carlos xuma's book on the subject), learn some things that will make you the centre of attention at parties (guitar, magic tricks etc) and just generally be a social, outgoing guy who talks to everyone (men and women) and seems to be friends with everyone in the room. Essentially though, whether girls notice you or not doesn't mean too much cos at the end of the day it's gonna be up to you to do the approaching.

As for your AA I have 2 suggestions which might hopefully help a bit. Read up on the 6-step reframe. It's an NLP technique which focuses on recognising the negative feelings created by an experience (anxiety by approaching women), realising your mind's positive intent in creating them (to prevent you from being embarrassed or humiliated) and finding another action that allows you to still feel these (preventing you from being humiliated) while still doing the thing you want to do (approach the girl). The other suggestion is to avoid thinking in such a goal orientated way. You may be anxious because you feel that rejection by the woman will be considered a failure. That's because you see picking up the woman as the goal. Instead try to see your goal as field testing a new opener or a new routine. That way, even if you don't get the girl, you still don't have to see it as a failure.

Sorry about the lenght of the post. Got a bit carried away but if you manage to read the whole thing I hope it helps

Your solution is the 3 Second Rule...Live by it!

The 3 Second Rule forces you to walk over and open a set in only 3 seconds or less. The less amount of time it takes you to walk over to the set, the more of an advantage you will have. This will eliminate the thoughts you will have about not approaching and instantaneously, just like that you’re in the set forgetting you even had AA.

You gotta thank AA though, if we didn’t have it we wouldn’t be alive right now...