I've been exchanging emails with a girl I met through a dating site. She actually initiated things with me. She always asked me questions in her messages and has even Facebooked me and asked about something on my profile which indicates she's spent some time looking at it. Things seemed to be going well so I suggested talking on the phone after my last message. I didn't get a reply and it's been several days now even though she replied very fast to my earlier messages.

While there could be any number of reasons why I haven't heard back I think it's best to operate under the assumption that the phone suggestion is the reason for the lack of response. I'm guessing I didn't build enough comfort? I was thinking of sending her a short message if I still haven't heard back by early next week. Any suggestions on what to say? What's a good rule of thumb for knowing when to transition to the phone? Should I have suggested IM first?

I think it's a good bet she didn't want to move to phone. it's possible something else but happened but much less likely.

Deciding when to go to phone varies by girl. I've had girls who want to talk for a while via messages before they want to move to phone and I've had girls that want to move to phone almost right away. The last girl I met online contacted me and then wanted to move to phone after like 6 messages.

You have to gauge it by each girl. There's no harm in sending a short message not mentioning the message she didn't respond to as long as you keep in mind the response or lack of one absolutely does not matter.

I, personally, would probably just continue with the thousands of other girls on that site, many of whom are probably dying to meet a guy like you.

At best, I should treat this one as an experiment and try something new to see if it works.

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Don't think you are, know you are.

What things should I look for specifically to indicate a girl would be ready to take the conversation to the phone? With what I already mentioned and the girl giving me some very detailed insight into her life it seemed like she was ready.

ya some girls pull that...bottom line is your not interested in having a message friend. if she doesn't respond at all, I would probably let it go, or you could send something like "hey, guess you're playing hard to get, and I think that's a great idea. when you decide you want to talk like a normal person, pick up the phone...dork."or

"I have absolutely zero patience for flaky online girls, so if you decide you want to use my number, use it, otherwise, good luck with whatever it is you're looking for."

I never go more than three or for msgs b4 asking for number and usually don't run into these types of roadblocks anymore