I took a big risk 20 minutes ago and in such a short amount of time, I feel like an AFC again

Yesterday I asked for a girls email because she was giving me lots of IOIs. I decided that I was going to make the message direct and tell her that i like her. I do not know if it was a mistake and maybe I was too direct. however i already clicked the send button and am having second thoughts. Please help

here is the e-mail I sent her

Hi Danelle.

It was nice talking to you yesterday night at the barn and
I think I might come back next week. I decided to get your e-mail
because I thought u were cute and was interested in getting to know
you a little bit more.


Andrea

You sure you want me to criticize it? I'll be honest...

It's pretty much all wrong Mate. I actually don't see anything that's right.

"Hi Danelle," You start off way too formal and are making the email feel very important to you. You're a PUA...you've got hundreds of girls emailing you every day, you don't have time to be formal.

"It was nice talking to you yesterday night at the barn" - You're saying, she's a nice talker...and it feels like you're really excited to meet this girl...Not Alpha.

"and I think I might come back next week." - Basically 'I'm pretty boring and don't switch up my life much'

"I decided to get your e-mail because I thought u were cute and was interested in getting to know you a little bit more. " - You were closest to a good email here. But it's still very AFC with a little bit of courage.

I would have liked you to say something like:

Hey Danelle, you'll never guess what happened to me the other day right after we met at the barn. -Andrea

The only thing you need to do in the first email...is get her to respond. Once she is comfortable responding, you can get her # to text her, and then plan a date.

Tell us if she responds to your first email, if not, we'll help you write a follow up.