I originally posted this in JSmooth's thread, but John seems to be taking a break from the forums so I thought I'd re-post it in a new thread.
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Hey JSmooth,
First of all, thanks for making this thread, it's filled with some amazing information. I've got a bit of a toughie on my hands, HB8 that I'm really interested in but she has a rule against meeting people from online.
Me: So by the way, have you ever met anyone though pof, crazy or otherwise?
Her: i don't meet anyone from pof but yes iv talked to some unusual people
Me: Yeah talked to my share of nutters myself, thats too bad though because i was going to say you sound sane enough to hang out with sometime
Her: lol ya it does suck but i have a rule and im not willing to break it even tho you seem like a ok guy
Not sure what to do in this scenario, it seems like she has no intention of meeting up at all. Any suggestions?
AychO,
You do have a tough one on your hands there. Consider that when she told you that she has this rule she did say "you seem like a ok guy" which does show some interest. The great thing about rules and personal limiting beliefs as you know they can be overcome.
The issue becomes time. You are going to need to work in baby steps with this one. Talk to her and get her comfortable enough to start talking off POF through Instant Messenger (IM). Then after talking on messenger for a while when you feel the time is right try for her phone #...text her or call her. Again keep building that comfort level and then you might just be able to take the next baby step to date cause she'll have been talking to you a while and know you better.
For some girls going from Online to Date is a BIG thing to swallow. If we cut it up into bit sized chunks of smaller commitments then we are more likely to get to our goal of meeting this girl. There is always a chance you hit the same brick wall because you can't changed where you met her, but if you are willing to put some time and effort in this is how you would do it. Smile
Respectfully,
Jon S.
Hey JSmooth,
I have a follow-up question about this girl, so I've been taking baby steps, respecting her rule but also getting to know her and joking around with her for a bit. I've got her phone number now and we've been texting back and forth. My question is how do I ask her if she wants to hang out now?
I was thinking about saying something like
"Listen, we've been talking for a while now and its been great getting to know you. I know you have a rule against meeting guys online but I feel as if we get along really well and I would regret it for a long time if I didn't at least ask you if you felt the same way and wanted to hang out sometime and see where this goes?"
Do you think that would be fine or too direct? I'm also wondering if you think I should talk to her on the phone beforehand to build up some comfort and trust and if so what would be the best way to prime her for a call (since a random call out of the blue would probably throw her off).
Thanks!
CHAT