Hey I was messing around with my PlentyofFish profile and I just noticed a bunch of shit that I have no clue about. For example what should you say you're looking for?

I KNOW that choosing "dating" or "intimate encounter" will just ring alarm bells like crazy, but how go you get around this (i.e. WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?)

And what the bloody hell should go on the profile? I mean there's ALL SORTS of stuff to be avoided... but I have no clue what comes across as a DHV online and what looks like a DLV.

Any of you guys had success with PlentyofFish? What options do you pick on your profile (i'm not asking to copy your profile word for word, just some tips on what to do and what to AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE! )

I do use POF as I had some luck with it. The first thing you should do is make sure you set your profile so that it does not show up that you view someones profile. Second read what the guys in your area are putting in their profile so you have an idea of what your competition is like. As far as what to put in your profile that is up to you as there is no real template for such a thing.

As far as selecting date or friends or what have you it seems they break down as follows:

Intimate Relationships - Sex
Other Relationship - FWB/Mix relationships
Dating - Date
Long Term - Long Term and/or Marriage
Hang Out - Possible FWB
Friends - Possibly FWB or Dating

If you want post what you are going to say in your profile here so people can take a look at it.

Thanx, but just a couple nagging issues here:

1. Okay, well I have NO IDEA how to set my profile so it doesn't show who I viewed. I can't find that function anywhere on the site. How do I do this?

2. Plus, I know what all that jargon means, but which one will be most effective (I mean saying you want an intimate encounter practically GUARANTEES rejection from half the hot girls on there, and it seems that if you choose "dating" then she will already think in terms of the "dating" frame: buy dinner, take it VERY slow, ---> Let's Just Be Friends .) So neither one of these choices seems good.

So which option has the highest rate of success? Is it "hang out"? (by success I mean k-closes and f-closes).

I'd say go with dating but then I found in the past, that if you have a plausible explanation on your profile of only having relationships within a given distance and friends futher out then it gives you carte blanche to run your game on the ones further out and as long as you dont contradict yourself and it seems like your just having fun online almost joking about meeting up there will be ones that'll turn out to be ok with the whole fwb thing.

the privacy thing is on the mail settings page. near the bottom

(HELP)Allow a user to see I viewed their profile: {set to NO}

Hey there is some very good advice on here for you to take in.What I suggest to you is to just put dating.Now when it comes to your profile Be real or be funny or be both.Its your choice but as the first guy said make your profile invisable and check out the other guy's profiles,you will get alot of ideas of what to say and not to say.When you put dating sure the woman will think that your after just sex,but to get around is to say your just out to meat new people in hopes to find the one,I know a little AFC but it does work if you don't go to overboard..Man as DHVing yourself behonest flip her switches when she reads it...I will post a link for you to check out in a pm man...

Thanx for the link man!

But as for putting "dating" I still see a problem.

"dating" = her thinking in terms of the traditional snail-pace dating frame where SHE has all the power.

"hang out" = I'm a high-value guy (I made sure to put DHV in my profile) and maybe something might happen IF she's up to my standards. This actually seems more attractive in that counterintuitive PUA way. But you say it looks AFC. Why? I don't understand.

As far as I know, it's not good to tell her it's a "date" because then she has crazy expectations. Plus as it's a dating site, technically everyone wants to date anyway - even the ones that "just want friends" (really? lol). So I've heard it's best not to overstate the dating thing. What's your take on this?

Its in the MailBox settings. I believe its near the bottom of the page.
The dating mind set is not what you think. If you read some of the "Ideal Date" section a lot of girls either say coffee or an activity of some sort. Not many have dinner. Also dating will put the relationship frame into play. Hanging Out and Friendship will make things take longer as the girl's frame is to take things slow and see where they go.

"Hang Out" doesn't equal high value guy. What you put in your profile will show this, not what you selected for the type of relationship your looking for.
As I mention above "hanging out" and "friends" means the girls frame will be that she is looking but wants to take things slow and do the whole lets be friends first then see. Having "dating" there it speeds it up as you made it clear you don't want to take the slow road but the faster road. Plus in your profile you can define what you are looking for relationship wise.

Well, bro, (and I mean this with a lot of respect) I hope you know what you're doing! I mean, I hope that you've gotten consistent results with your method. Cuz in a way some of it sounds desperate to me.
Actually most of them leave it up to the guy to choose, but a few have preferences. Most of them are smart enough to know that a movie is not a good idea, but some still want dinner... (which I do NOT want to pay for, we know where that leads...) Plus some girls only want to hang out, so they must be DHVing too. I mean, who goes on a specifically dating site just to look for friends? Have these chicks heard of Facebook???

I never looked at it this way before. But I thought that in a dating frame she puts up more resistance, whereas otherwise she puts up less because you don't look needy, then the sarge feels more natural ("things just happened"). Just because she may be willing to date, does that mean that it's helpful to accept that frame? (I'm just curious how it works, I'm not dissing your methods).

Okay, ya got me there. In fact, if a profile sucks or has nothing, "hang out" could sound VERY shy and AFC. Overall in my profile I make myself out to be a funny, high-value, non-needy guy who has some standards and wants more than just a pretty face (beauty is common, etc.) So I think that part is good. It's got some decent teasing, attraction material, and DHV spikes in it.
Well I knew choosing "friends" was out of the question. My question is, if you don't tell a girl you pick up in person that you're "going on a date" to avoid triggering her date-frame (i.e. she plays hard-to-get, makes you wait, etc), HOW IS choosing "dating" on POF any different than telling a girl "let's go out on a date"? She will still have her guard up, no?:?

lol. Its cool. I haven't gotten many dates from there as I have not put in much effort. But the girls I have been messaging have not blown me off as much. In the past week I had 2 girls send me messages (both went dead) and one girl I message that I am still talking to and about to get her number. She is an older woman which is why I am not moving fast. She is also going to be a friend of mine due to her situation.

I should have mention that things do differ from area to area. I am going by the stuff I have seen from girls in my area and the methods I been working on, plus the stuff I read in the POF forums. Which I know is filled with a lot of AFC guys playing by the "rule" book. But I more read the posts from the females to see what their thinking. I don't see how hanging out equals DHVing.
In my experience I had tad better luck with the girls that had dating selected than those with friends or hang out.

Sounds good to me. In a PUA article I read on online dating it said that it is best not to make the profile to long or to short, but in the middle. Basically it said that you want to create a mini skirt effect with your profile. Where the girl sees the "legs" and is interested and wants to see more.

That's a good question actually. The only real way I can answer it is that when you meet a girl from POF in real life, you basically have to start all over again with her. So you can easily change your frame from the "dating" on POF to friends or what have you in real life. Yes she may have her guard up as she would be expecting a date. But I think if you don't act like your on a date she will pick up that it was not a date. When I was reading the POF forums, this woman said something that I thought was interesting. She said that when she first meets a guy in real life she does not considered it a date as the first meeting basically acts like a screening to see if she was interested in the guy or not. Plus it allowed her to see how much the guy was lying to her. I basically do the same thing when I meet girls from POF. As my first meet is a sceener and if I am interested or like what I see the next meet is a "date".

Great advice man... I should have remembered that the internet is a place of deception and false expectations... Heck, when she first meets a guy she probably is ASSUMING that he's a bullshitter... But actions are everything here and aside from attraction material in the profile, "words" often don't mean shit!

A lot of the girls are bullshitting online too, so I've learned not to trust their profiles on facebook, but I guess POF is just as fake sometimes. When they say they are looking for dating, that is their frame, but that doesn't mean the PUA has to do a "date" And it doesn't mean that's all the girl is open to. The guy can also say he wants "dating" so that he meets "dating" girls, but end up taking her for a totally different sort of ride.

And playing into that frame is not helpful, so I will set the frame that I'm cool with who I am and there's no need to try to impress the chick. This, IMO, is the best way to break her bitch shield (along with being a bit random... say what you feel like, not some scripted lines... within reason of course)

Most of the time on POF I will completely ignore the girl's frame and setup my own. This is after all being alpha right?

I've had some success with POF (banged three girls in two months) and am currently in a relationship with a HB8 from there.

My tips:
1) Spam out with a template message that's funny, show's you can write, and show's you read her profile (one line commenting on a pic, one commenting on something she said). Two paragraphs max.

2) Have lots of cool pics with you and your friends, hot girls, funny faces, doing something cool. No shirtless pics from your phone or pics from the family vacation. Be honest and be lighthearted.

3) Move from messaging to txt messaging quickly, like within a few messages online you should be talking on the phone and setting something up (no dinner don't invest that much)

that's where you gain points by blowing her frame away with one of your own. as in YOUR idea of a date is doing something fun, while qualifying her to see if she's good enough for you. not your fault she's not creative enough to see past dinner/movies/roses...

and no, technically not everyone wants to date on a dating site... many are looking for an ego boost by being hit on without "cheating" on their S/O.

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If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

I've been using okcupid and I just started POF, but haven't messaged anyone and my profile says I'm not going to. Anyway, I disagree with both of these points. Intelligent women always seem to be able to spot templates. Even if you modify it for every girl, that takes effort to make sure it's consistent. Why not just write them all different messages? Your first message shouldn't be more than 5 sentences anyway. And for 2, this isn't a social networking site; it's for dating. Social proof isn't important here.

Dating is a good thing to set your profile to because it has sexual connotations without being sleazy. If you just want to "pull", it can be done on the second date pretty reliably. I won't lie, I've never pulled on the first, and occasionally it will take me three. So if you're worried it will take too long, someone probably already said, it's up to you to set the pace.

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31 and still figuring it out.

Because then you won't know what works

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http://buzpua.blogspot.com/
My Journey to become a pick-up artist

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