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Keith:
Hey, I don't think that this picture is really you. What, did you go to the mall and get one of those Glamour Shots done or something? Do you have a real picture?Like you at home raiding your fridge or something? Or do you even work out? OK, stop trying to fool all of us guys, and let's see what you REALLY look like...

Emily:
how the fuck are you?
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and i am thinking of giving a reply like this. tell me about it.

you are hillarious. sort of.

omg!you are like a little power puff girl.too cute!u know the spiky one with thelittle attitude?the brunet.what wass her name?butternut? btw u cannot believe what happened to me! i was outside of this club, right, and there was this BIG guy outside with a Mohawk. And he was arguing with this preppy little guy over something, I didn't know what.
And all of a sudden, this Mohawk guy CLOCKS the other dude-hard!Not only does he punch the guy, but he follows with through with his elbows, so it was like a straight 1-2 hit!

And the guy who got punched just stands there for a minute, like his brain doesn't quiet realize what just happened, and falls straight back onto the concrete like he's stiff as a 2-by-4, and just lays there looking straight up into sky with his eyes wide open.

And everyone's looking at this just stunned . and this guy isn't moving, isn't blinking, and i am thinking "crap,he is fucking dead and i am a witness!"

open to all critiques and also to a new opener.

Woah! Okay dude you are overwhelming this poor girl with stuff. Hence the way she responded. She probably thinks you're on speed or crack maybe. You wrote a lot of stuff but hey you got her talking.

As far as the opener goes it's not bad, it has a slight neg in it and it got a response which is what matters. She is talking. The only way to know if an opener really works is to test it and keep track of the results.

First of all, you opened with a neg and you don't need to neg again straight away with the powerpuff girl thing. It's too much and she's likely going to think your an ass because she hasn't done anything to deserve the second neg, so ease it back a bit. Think of negs like seasoning. Too much seasoning and the dish sucks, we just want a pinch here and there.

I like your transition into the story you can't believe what happened to me. That's really good man!

The story I like it, but I don't know what you are trying to convey. You are talking about a fight between two random guys. How does this convey the attraction switches to make her feel something towards you?

Core Attraction Switches defined by MM
1. Leader of Men
2. Protector of Loved Ones
3. Preselection by Women
4. Non-Needy Behaviour
5. Willingness to Emote
etc.

I like the story but I'm just trying to figure out it's purpose in the conversation and the sense for it to attract her. How can we use this story to convey one or more of these things?

Keep the thing about "not seeing her around East Lxxxx" because that is starting to build some comfort, and you are going to need that.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

i just want to keep the convo going. so i could game her later in school and that would probably be easy as i know her !! and probably WANT to talk to me.

I c. i thought i had to handle the shit test first. but that was not a shit at all. i have had similar responses on myspace but it worked only on a few girls.

should i start with "i noticed u as i was trying to look for my old friends" just to lower her shields. this is a pull after all right.

ok got it. remove the negg. could i keep the "u r hilarious....sort of"??

then the ending would be like this

"the cops showed up anyway and locked em up. but the sad thing was, they left their girl friends stranded. me and my friend had to take em to a restarunt and later to a hotel. we are lovers not fighters.....

never the less, i am sure those boys would settle their argument in jail"

okay yeah your comment might of been a little dickish. Here is an opener I've used once and worked on a hot chick.

Subject: LIAR!

"No way your profile is real. I call Shenanigans."

Her Reply

"you're calling me a liar? how dare you!"

I replied (She said she could knit on her page)

"Come clean, I know you lied about being able to knit!!!"

and blah blah blah afterwards. Hopefully I don't fuck it up, cause she is fucking banging.