Golden post!

Awesome post! Any updates?

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"I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen"

Oh, so you guys want more eh? Well ok. Here's some more of my inspired-only-by-boredom openers. Keep in mind, the previous ones usually work. But here's some that didn't!

This one didn't work, at all. So probably don't use it, but who cares.

Email the Eleventh [HB7] - Short girl, who rants about how short she is -
Me: Hi. I think its great that you're short. You can like, fit through small cracks, duck under moving cars, slip through narrow alleys that the bad guys are chasing you through but they can't catch you cause like they're kinda overweight so you just turn around and laugh, and that just makes them madder and stuff. You know what I'm sayin? Its a gift. You could also use your asset to maybe join a bank robbery team with george clooney and those other guys.



Email the Twelth [HB8] - This a fail that easily can be turned into something good -
Me: I think it's actually incredibly difficult to message a stranger online and have them become infatuated by you and instantly want to talk to you. But THANK GOD I'm so good at it


Just sent this one, we'll see if it works

Email the Thirteenth[HB8] - Girl only talks about what she doesn't like -
Me: Ok, so I know everything you don't like. But I don't know what you do like.. Movies? Video games? Apple picking? Petting cats? Mowing lawns? Mowing strangers lawns in the early morning, then waiting behind a bush until they come outside and they're all like, "Hey, Sarah, did you mow the lawn?... Because someone mowed the lawn... No... No it wasn't me... I'd know if I mowed the fucking lawn Sarah... Did Billy mow the lawn?... Well then who the fuck mowed the lawn?" and then running away giggling like a little girl?

Hmmmm?



Laughing the whole time while I write this.

Email the Fourteenth[HB9] - Girl's a painter -
Me:Well, I want you to paint me like one of your French girls. (This is the part where I take off my clothes, revealing my unbelievably sculpted, perfect body, wearing only a blue, heart shaped necklace. You are taken aback by my request, as I lay on the floral couch, ready for you to transform me into your artwork.)









Honestly I don't know what I have to do to get a response on this website, but I think that's about as far as you can go. I mean... Titanic... like come on.






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Now I apologize that this update isn't so wonderful, but I shall post some more tomorrow or Sunday. I haven't been on POF in a while. I'd also like to keep a reminder that I still hate POF and online dating. So you can see a lot of my resentment in my messages. Or in other words, my lack of giving a shit.

Thanks! I have to say I tried out many of those lines and had about a 5 % response rate :/

_________________
"I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen"

Cheers for these, but I need further help now I've opened a chick.

I used the glasses opener which you wrote earlier in this post, and got this back;

Thank you for the compliments on my glasses they are indeed as great as you thought they would be haha You sound very imaginative ^.^ I like it. Emma x

Correct me if Im wrong, but I'm new to the game and even know she's opened and ready for the show. The only problem is so far I have only looked at opening threads and have come unstuck now someone has replied what looks like interest.

So any advice of where to go and how to keep her interested will be muchly appreciated.

-RedOasis

UPDATE
I went with the 'married/divorced in my mind' routine from the perfect Internet game thread. Thoughts?

Hey tried the Alien opener and I got the following:


HB10:
hahahahaha! what! thats nonsense!!
im clearly and avatar!!
haha i have never had spots im afriad xxx

...dare I reply or leave it? I have absolutely no idea what on earth she is talking about...

_________________
"I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen"

Avatar is the film where all the characters are them blue creatures, they're similar to aliens in a sense, so she's trying to make a joke about that!

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Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

Cheers! I have the DVD but I never got around to watching it!

_________________
"I'm on a drug...it's called Charlie Sheen"

5%? That's incredible!

Haha, but really.. as I say every few posts, online "dating" is a waste of time. You have to realize most girls are on there for attention and for fun (as they even say in their own profiles). Every now and then you will come across a legitimate girl. Go improve your real life social skills instead! Fuck online dating!

Ok, this fucking colon cancer opener is giving me a 100% response rate. I'm 5 for 5 so far. They think it's hilarious.

great stuff bro.
alrity so just for the fun of it i used the very first opener..

Hi. You have a very interesting face. I think it's very beautiful. Your eyes perfectly compliment it. But that's all irrelevant. It's what's inside us that counts, right? Like our intestines. Does your family have a history of colon cancer? I don't think I want to mix our DNA if they do; for my children's sake. That would suck for them, because they'd die. Anyway, send me a message back if your interested in discussing other features of our biology that could make us compatible for mating I mean dating.

and this is the reply i got...


i think ur profile is quite refreshing. i see nothing arrogant about it..

but i m not sure what to reply to this..
so any suggestions ? as i am new to this online thing...

looking forward for some good replies !

Well guys. I have been using this on messages to gals on POF.
I think I've died and gone to heaven.. Cause a car hit me, and I lost a lot of blood, and the medics couldn't save me so like my spirit left my body, but then God said it wasn't my time so he sent me back as a golden retriever, and I was like wtf? I am not a golden retriever. But I lived my life anyways for 13 years cause that's about how long dogs live, and then I died again (just of old age) and was reincarnated just for you.

I have had a reply ever time.

There's a fine line between genius and madness. That message is genius but your profile is more madness. That's incongruence. Gotta work on those one liners. Too many fail CF and/or are just weird.

Loved your ideas brother.

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---DaTank---

• ME -Hi. You have a very interesting face. I think it's very beautiful. Your eyes perfectly compliment it. But that's all irrelevant. It's what's inside us that counts, right? Like our intestines. Does your family have a history of colon cancer? I don't think I want to mix our DNA if they do; for my children's sake. That would suck for them, because they'd die. Anyway, send me a message back if your interested in discussing other features of our biology that could make us compatible for mating I mean dating.
Sent to
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Jul 12, 2011 – 6:14pm
Hb6 OR 7 - Lol wow you def get props for that opening! My intestines are great and no colon cancer in the family thanks for checking....anyway how are you and your genetics?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 12, 2011 – 9:01pm
im good!! thanks for asking.. lol, thanks for the props... are you sure about the cancer? did you ask around? i've been told a few times for a few different reasons that i must have good genes... Question??

Pirates or ninjas?
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Jul 12, 2011 – 9:24pm
Lol ..yep ..I've asked! All good in that area haha... I'm going with ninjas for sure is that a trick question or what??Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 3:17pm
No tricks here, trix are for kids!! Steak or Sushi?
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Jul 13, 2011 – 8:02pm
Sushi!!!Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 8:42pm
ur turn!! be creative....
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Jul 13, 2011 – 9:02pm
Haha I don't know about my creativity skills... Cats or dogs?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 9:22pm
geeez!! that might quite possibly be the most creative one ive seen yet!! DOGS...
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Jul 13, 2011 – 9:59pm
Lol I'm being conservative hahahaSent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:30pm
are you offended easily?
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:31pm
No not usually... I have a pretty good sense of humorSent from the OkCupid app

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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:37pm
Missionary or reverse cowboy?
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:41pm
That's a tough one...reverse cowboySent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:48pm
Lmao! Id have to say it all depends! Ur turn again...
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:52pm
Lol I had to think really hard on that one! Tits or ass?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 10:59pm
These days I'd have to say tits! Years ago ass for sure... Good one kiddo!!!! Beach or snow? I have to slow this back down!!!!Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 11:06pm
Beach!!!! Day or night?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 11:09pm
Night for sure, u? Wet or dry?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 11:21pm
Yes def night! wet or dry... Hmmm depends on what we are tlking abt... Dry.
Hot or cold?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 11:31pm
Cold so I can snuggle!!!

Tell me what's been going on with u for the last year?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 13, 2011 – 11:52pm
This past year has been great. My babies started pre-k and did really well with that. So I've been able to work more which is always good !!! And we will be going to Disney world next week, and it's a surprise for them so I'm very excited it has been a entertaining year, can't wait to see what the rest of it brings hahahaSent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:02am
Awesome! Twins? Girls, boys? R u divorced? Never married? Is ur ex a psycho? How long u been single??? Why r u single? WTH is ur name? Lol....

Movie or dinner?

Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:15am
Yes twins! A girl and a boy I've been divorced for 4yrs him and I just were not meant to be. I'm single b/c I'm not settling haha. I've just been busy working and having fun with my kids they grow up sooo fast!

Dinner then movie lolSent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:17am
Did ur parents name u?Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:20am
My name is SabrinaSent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:25am
Pretty name!!! What's ur cell numba???Sent from the OkCupid app
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Jul 14, 2011 – 12:34am
Thank you... xxx-705-2362 Sent from the OkCupid app

followed up the next day with friday or saturday? hb6 or 7 "friday!!!!!"