| Due to the large influx of newbies, and people who just have a general amount of AA here is Kurent's big balls guide to removing most (remember, everyone does have it) fear of aproach.
Lets start at the very begining: Aproach Anxiety is hardwired into your system because 40,000 years ago, if you were rejected, you were weeded out of the gene pool. The adverage society was about 50 people, male and female. That means that there are 25 females in the group. Lets factor out the ones who are old, married, sick, too young, etc, and that brings us to a generous 5 women who you are able to mate with. If you crash and burn with one of them, she will tell her four other friends about you, and thus you will never be able to replicate, and your genes are gone. If you want more on this, look to Mystery.
In today's society, we encounter thousands of women, most of whom dont know you nor will they pass on word about someone approaching them. Your emotions are toying with your fears as they love to do. Only when you understand why there is that fear can you remove it completely.
Now, starting from the begining, for someone who heeds their parent's advice and never talks to strangers:
1. Do a newbie mission, go to a mall and say "hi" to every girl there. Thats it, say "hi" and walk away. Even if they can't hear you when you say it, as long as you are going through the motions, something good will come of it.
2. If you live in a major tourist city (like Boston) wait for a group of tourists to come by on some kind of moving tour and shout to them, "Welcome to (city) have a great time!" They will never see you again, and we all know that its the highlight of their trip.
3. Do the high5 excersize. Go up to people and ask for high5s. Its great if you have a wing who is experienced. He will open the set and you just walk up for the high5. If nothing else, this will give you a small sense of euphoria.
4. When waiting in line, for groceries or whatever, talk to the checkout person. Especially if you dont know him or her. Just ask "How was your day?", "Whats up?", or "How are you doing?" They will respond, because half the time they are required to. You could even talk to the person behind you in line, but that is a little more.
5. Make a goal for yourself, move in baby steps. Say, in the next month, I want to open 300sets (31 days in a month, about 10/day). Once you get going, its easy to do 10 sets in an hour. In these sets, just do it to open. Say "Whats up?" and wait for an answer, then walk away. Game her a little, but just walk away.
6. Open sets you know will blow you out. A two set who are facing away from you, a guy set, sets walking on the other side of the street, anything. Hit on a married girl (only for the brave). That kind of shit. That should get rid of your fear or rejection. Set a goal, you want to get blown out 100 times. If someone blows you out, go the extra mile and say shit like "I eat shits like you for breakfast" or "Ha, you are just walking away because we both know if you stay, you will be naked on my floor within the hour." Crazy shit. In this step, always get the last word in.
Next, removing that fear of comitting a social faux pas:
1. Learn to be an ass. Meaning, one day, when you are in an especially bad mood, go out and say "FUCK YOU" to a lot of people. Just be a total asshole. If you are in a bad mood, you will eventually cheer yourself up, and you forget all of that kindness thats taken the place chivalry.
2. While talking to someone, walk away. During the conversation, when they are talking to you, just turn and walk. That will build you the strongest frame. Its easier if it is someone who you dislike, but do it on a recent sarge. Just open a set, get her talking (as to how to do that, look somewhere else) and walk away. Hey, if she follows you, thats a major SOI; if she calls you out on it, flip her off as you are walking by; if she walks away too, great, no strings attached. Once you do it, you'll find it supprisingly easy.
3. Call a recent sarge (who you are willing to lose) just to rant. If she ever decides to talk, tell her to fuck off and continue talking. After a few minutes (10-15) on the phone, I guarentee that nothing will ever stand in your way about talking on the phone.
4. In a conversation, talk over the person (sorta with the above). Just be a total ass.
Remember, these are just pointers, if you disagree with any of them, FUCK YOU (jk), dont do them. You don't have to do any of them in order. Stuff like that. Feel free to post your stratagies for anything, I just want this to be a great archive.
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K.
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CHAT
, I suggest the book Feel the fear and do it anyway from Susan Jeffers. A lot of professionals will tell you that and it really helped me. You do not feel alone with your anxiety and have a good tested programm on how to proceed.