So you feel like crap?
Had a bad day huh?
Ok ok, let’s talk about it…
I figured I’d start off with the single most powerful way to change your mood.
I know, I suck at building suspense eh?
You ready? Cause here it is…
The single most powerful way to change your emotional state is to do absolutely nothing about it.
Now before you throw your laptop out the window in anger, let me explain; You see, there are two levels to uncomfortable emotions.
We have pain, which is normal, and then we have suffering, which is most often self-inflicted.
Okay you broke up with your girlfriend, or you lost your job, or you’re quite sick. That sucks – no arguing there. There’s the natural pain that comes with it.
However, suffering begins when you personalize each and every problem. All of a sudden, your life is no longer a series of happenings, but an ‘I’-centered event. In other words; everything keeps happening to poor little me!
This is when suffering begins to take hold.
But all you ever really have to do is to fully accept whatever you’re feeling in this moment. That is to say, to cease putting the stamp of personal experience on whatever happens and just let it happens.
Practically speaking? Okay, I feel kinda crappy – but I’ll let it be for as long as it wants to stay. I won’t fight it, I won’t make an identity out of it, I’ll just breathe, relax and let it be because I know that the feeling will pass on its own.
This in itself is a powerful habit to develop – just resist nothing!
Don’t Suppress – EXpress
So what happens when you you get hit with a bad emotion?
As explained before – you try desperately to change it. You try to distract yourself, or to ignore it – all of which are forms of self-avoidance.
Here’s an idea; instead of suppressing how you feel by retreating or trying to change it, try expressing it!
Look, being happy-go-lucky on top of the world 24/7 is impossible – and that’s okay! Life would be boring otherwise. We need the downs so we can appreciate the downs. One cannot exist without the other.
So picture an emotion like a fuse. Something happens that lights the fuse, and then it takes time to burn itself out.
Now, suppressing the fuse is the equivalent of adding more and more rope – it’s not gonna burn out, you’ll just be feeding it longer and longer.
So along with non-resistance, why don’t you let the fuse burn out faster by expressing the truth of how you feel.
How many times were you on the verge of tears and yet, you think to yourself “Grrr, I’m a big strong man, I shouldn’t be doing this” and so you watch porn or turn on the Tv or find some other way to distract yourself.
I’m not saying you should burst out into tears at dinner with your girlfriends parents because you found out ducks could be gay too… I’m talking about giving yourself the space to express your anger by screaming at the top of your lungs, by sitting down in your pain and sobbing like a child – just letting it all go fully.
When you express how you feel and let the fuse burn itself out, there’s nothing left to feed the fire and you’ll find yourself just sitting there, exhausted but intensely at ease.
No exercise will teach you how to listen to yourself better than honoring how you feel and giving yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel in order to heal.
“Gratitude is the antidote to misery” – Robin Sharma
This one is pretty basic.
Look; every moment is absolutely beautiful, astounding, awe-inspiring and open. Literally ANYTHING could happen. Your life could change dramatically in a fraction of a second.
That’s a pretty fucking inspiring thought.
It’s your ego that trivializes the present moment and forces self-seeking on you.
But the moment you breathe, relax and come back to here, everything just seems… brighter!
Why not be grateful? Why not take a deep breath and be thankful for another day?
Why not be thankful for your health – even if it isn’t perfect.
Why not be thankful for your friends – even though there may not be that many.
Most importantly, why not be thankful for the suffering you’re going through now? It means you’re alive! It means you’re experiencing the most you can. It means you’re living fully – what could be bad about that?
When you learn to accept your suffering, to express your hurt and to rejoice in your pain, all of a sudden it feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
You can finally breathe again.
Truly your biggest fan,
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