Socially messed up



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 Post subject: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 4:26 am 
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I have no friends. Never really had much of a gf and I'm a 28 year old virgin. I'm heavily depressed from getting dumped and life in general so I really don't know if I can handle this stuff.

What should I change so that I can manage ?


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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 12:01 pm 
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Hi alylien!

First! I was a little bit like you. I was extremely shy, depressed and bullied during my childhood and had only one friend. With the time, I got better in friendship and my shyness decreased a lot.

One of the first thing I will encourage you to do is to join different activities to be able to meet people. For example, you can join a baseball league, take a photography or a yoga course ... The goal is to always push yourself to meet new people. Once you are in a social gathering, you will have to push yourself to talk to those people.

If you are very shy, dont put a goal like date a girl. Start by easier thing like start a small talk with a stranger on the bus stop, with the clerk ... Eventually, you will be less afraid and gain confidence.

So push yourself to join different activities and force yourself to start small talk with a lot of people. Have a goal like; I must talk to this old lady in the grocery store, I have to talk with this man in my sport team ... It will not be easy but if you want to improve, you have to go out of your confort zone. If what you do doesn't work after a certain amount of time, do something else because if you always do the same things over and over again, the same thing will happen to you over and over again.

Good luck and keep us informed of your progress! We are here to help and motivate you :)


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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 9:30 am 
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I'm from Vancouver.
Yeah sorry for being a drama queen in the previous thread. It seems online at least I have some potential. But yeah I went to a rave tonight and didn't do too well..

Anyway gonna try some daygame tomorrow with a wing (have a hard time going at it alone) so hopefully will have some fun with it


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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 2:06 am 
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It's ok. We all have been through up and downs in our life.

I think the best thing for you right now is to stop dating girls. For the next six months or more, you should concentrate on your inner game, your mindset ... You have to change the way you think. You need to be more positive because if you are too negative and you approach a girl, she will feel it.

I think you are not ready for dating. You should take a break and improve yourself. I don't know what the others will think of my suggestion?


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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 2:48 am 
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Hey man, we've all been there at one point or another. hellwarrior has got the right idea. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone and meet new people and focus on progress, not perfection. Don't have goals like getting dates with girls yet. Focus on doing many approaches first. Start small and use risk-less functional openers like asking for directions. Once you feel comfortable doing that, work your way up into transitioning and having longer conversations. Focus on making a lot of friends and acquaintances and be comfortable in social situations and things will snowball from there.

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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:10 pm 
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You are 12 years ahead of me so don't waste the opportunity. I did but I am now in a good situation where I feel I can do something about it.

My biggest advice is to join http://www.meetup.com and start getting out there but don't put pressure on yourself. I can already feel a difference to my confidence level after going to social nights and I now have a much better time talking to strangers without feeling too nervous.


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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 6:18 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 3:14 pm
Posts: 310
you have missed out on teenage love
you'll never be 15 and in love
lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting
not worrying about rent, bills, student loans
only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on monday
you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to cum all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"
you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits
you're in your 20's now
gotta get a good job
gotta be a serious man now
all the good ones are taken
maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you
they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter
you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy
you have missed out on teenage love

...

lol JUST KIDDING BRAH, after you get a few lays after your belt you will totally not care about your past anymore and just care about when the last time you got laid is. I am a firm believer that, before attempting to PUA, it is needed to first of all become a man of value yourself. Too many short, skinny, sleazy dorks out there attempting to pick up women and wondering why they don't succeed. So, just in case, let me write you a mini guide about how-to-fix-your-life for dummies (since you haven't really provided us with many useful details to start with).


- Carreer/basic purpose in life: What are you doing at the moment? Where do you want to be in 10 years from now? Is this area of your life covered? If not, better get on it, since this will provide a baseline level of business and distraction upon which to build the rest of your life. Feel trapped wherever you are? Don't. Apply somewhere else. Quit your job. Move to a new place to start from scratch. Start your own business. Whatever. Just find something you enjoy doing and that will give you enough money to enjoy life.

- Health/fitness/mental health: Get some basic fitness knowledge and hit the gym at least three times a week. Period. You will feel better. You will stay busy. You will be better at any sport you play. Others will feel more attracted towards you. In addition, do at least one other sport. Doesn't even have to be a team sport if you don't feel you are good enough for it. Anything goes; think outside the box: Martial arts, surfing, diving, etc. Just find something you genuinely enjoy and can do at least once a week. Soon, in addition to having a good time, you will have an interesting subject to talk about and will probably come in touch with like-minded people.

- Free time management: Important to stay cultured, enrich your personality and don't feel lonely (nothing like boredom to generate loneliness).
- Go out with some friends and hone your PUA skills. Screw going out alone though, specially for beginners (I am talking about night game here, daygame is OK).
- If you are new in town, don't have friends, or whatever, use Tinder or other online dating apps to chat up some girls and get laid. Easypeasy.
- Watch movies/series
- Read books
- Play some glorious vidya games
- Smoke weed (not more than once a week!)
- Go shopping for clothes
- Do cultural stuff. Go to a museum. A jazz bar. A painting lesson. A chess tourament. Learn to play an instrument. That kind of stuff.
- Travel (not something you can do on the regular, but a great way to feel good and enrichen your personality)

-Looks: I kind of covered this part in my previous sections. I might be repeating myself now, but still. It is important to always look your best, so...:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wCAoVtlcos4/T ... ooming.png
(Some of those tips are pretty weird, but this is a pretty complete guide. Also, I know I mentioned it already, but... don't neglect clothing and the gym!)


Oh yeah, and a generic tip for interacting with others: Just... Reach out to others. Say something. Whatever. Don't even think about aims or goals too much. Oftentimes in life, it is not about what you actually say, but the fact that you are actually talking. That's how you open doors to conversation and are a pretty cool guy.

There you go, buddy! Apply those tips and you should have a pretty much alright life! What you make of it once you are standing on your own legs is up to you! But I would be surprised if you didn't get laid somewhere along the way/didn't manage to get laid once you have a genuinely attractive lifestyle and have educated and applied yourself with a bit of PUA.

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 Post subject: Re: Socially messed up
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 1:39 pm 
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Quote:
I have no friends. Never really had much of a gf and I'm a 28 year old virgin. I'm heavily depressed from getting dumped and life in general so I really don't know if I can handle this stuff.

What should I change so that I can manage ?
Hey man!

I know exactly what your problem is and where you're coming from because
I've already been in the same situation of feeling socially messed up and
desperately searching for the answer to the question of how to live my life
as effortlessly as all super successful people do.

That said, my best piece of advice for you to start with would be suggesting
that you seriously invest some time and effort in pinpointing what your true
passions are, because without really knowing your true passions you'll get
stuck being constantly unhappy and insecure.

To learn more on what you should do to fix your problem and what kind of
trouble you might get trapped in if you don't decide to seriously identify
your top passions in life, I warmly recommend that you check out my
reply to a post titled how do i find inner peace with myself and my surroundings.
To get to my reply to this post, just click on this link that you can find
in the text.

God bless you!

Bruno

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FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"


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