Maintaining your self-esteem after rejection/ around girls?



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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:03 am 
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I believe that it doesn't matter how many compliments you get, how much money you make, how big your house or how fast of a car you drive... when a girl rejects you and you don't have the skills to game girls (Like me and many others), no matter what people tell you... you'll still feel like shit.

Now, although you guys are still human, most of you are so successful because you've become virtually immune to rejection.

Although I like who I am, when a girl comes along and rejects me I go FULL bitch. "Oh man, it's that I don't have a masculine bone structure!". "I'm too short!" "My voice is too high!" "girls hate guys with curly hair, that was probably it".

But before that girl, I LOVED who I was.

So, how do you maintain your self worth?


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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 3:05 am 
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Just know who you are and be confident in what you stand for brother.

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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 2:51 am 
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Different people have it differently. When I get rejected from the first girl I approach for the day, I go crazy and start becoming hyper and talkative, I could make a few more approaches after. But slowly as the day/night ends, I become really fucked up and emotional. Bahahaha.

I guess you should not give a shit what she thinks? Well she's just another bitch right? Tons of other bitches you can try. Who is she, just one person, going to defeat your entire state of mind? If you made a thousand approaches and all thousand approaches blew out, I'd understand. But this is just one girl, she's a nobody.

You definitely couldn't attract her, so best you could do is to review and start realize what you did wrong. The next time you approach, try to notice how your body felt as you talked to her. Try to notice your tone of voice, your position, where your eyes go, whether you were fidgety or calm... Etc.

Best still, is to just fuck thinking there's something wrong with your approach, and start believing that she just didn't like you because she doesn't like you. Not because you did something wrong, or your hair wasn't neat.

With love,
Matt

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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 4:12 am 
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I used to take rejection hard. Now I get rejected all the time. If you put time into being a better person so you can be a better experience for woman, then you are already one of the greatest men they will ever meet. If you know that, then they are the ones missing out. You tried to do them a favour, and for whatever reason (presentation) they passed up the opportunity of a lifetime.

Just stop a turbo hottie in the street, put a smile on her face, and strut cuz you got guts.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:53 pm 
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Hey Jaropennies,

We all get rejected in different aspects of our lives. The best we can do is take it as a learning experience. It is natural to seek faults in ourselves, and sometimes this is the case, but other times the reasons are beyond our control. In your case, ask yourself why do you take rejection so personal? Why do you automatically think there’s something wrong with you as oppose to thinking maybe you’re not her type? My guess is that your problem is one of self-esteem and confidence but I may be wrong.

Your opinion of yourself and your self- worth can’t be based on what others think of you but what you think of yourself. When that truly happens, you too will be “immune” and able to handle rejection graciously, as opposed to getting offended and offensive about it.

Finally I just want to add that you’re not doing women a favour by approaching them and they’re not bitches for not being interested. Hope everything gets better for you.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 11:04 pm 
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Don't like getting rejected, then get rejected more. If it's a chick that doesn't know you anyway, who cares? She is rejecting something in her head, not you. You've put all this time and effort into yourself to make yourself a better experience, what have they done? Fuck all. If you choke and leave a bad impression then laugh at yourself because you are still a work in progess. You are still a boss for trying, and in a few months that same girl won't believe her eyes. Rock rejection, that's how you get tough.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 1:31 am 
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"Rejection" (and fear of it) is probably the #1 thing that stops guys from living the life they want.

Think of a rejection more as "it just wasn't' a match" rather than the girl rejecting YOU as a person. Also there are many times when you'll be talking to a girl and you're not feeling it so you will eject - you've essentially 'rejected' her.

One thing to keep in mind also is that you should EXPECT the first response to your proposition to be a 'no' and then to smoothly overcome the objections with classy persistence; if it ends up not being a match, so be it. Sure there may be times when you get a 'yes' from 15 girls in a row, but for the girls who are used to putting up a bit of resistance, this mindset is helpful.

One solution to this issue is to approach a ton of girls. Even when you do that, from time to time there's a particular rejection that stings. Once a girl offered a token rejection that I could have attempted to overcome, it was "I don't think so" to my proposition. Instead of staying in the set and blasting through to get the #, I scurried away like a little boy and my feelings were genuinely hurt. It happens. O well.

Another thing that helps is to not lay your heart on the line and to pretend that you are engaging with the girls in such a way that you are an actor playing a role in a movie. This helps to de-personalize it all.

Bottom line, you run enough game that you have multiple options in your life at all times and are always meeting new girls, and any rejections slide off your back easily.

Also: Rejections are GREAT for your game because they allow you to analyze what might not have worked and for you to tweak your individual style. So each rejection yields you more results in the future because you're constantly learning, applying what works and dropping what doesn't.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2014 8:08 pm 
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One very cool trick that I use when it comes to dealing with rejection is to change the
MEANING of what she said in my own head.


So for example, let's say you approach her and she says "I don't like guys with hairs like yours..."

Now, you don't have control of what she will say to you...but you have complete control of the MEANING
that you make out of this.

So the way this works is when she says something like that to you, you INTERPRET it as if she means
something else with it.

For example, she could be saying that she doesn't like guys with hairs like yours, but behind what
she's really saying you INTERPRET it that she's actually trying to get your attention, because she likes you.

If you remember when you were a kid, and you liked a girl - you didn't know how to show her - so you
threw her jacket in the mud.

It's exactly the same process that you do here, but reversed.

You ASSUME that the reason she's being a bitch to you is because she likes you, but
doesn't know how to show her interest for you, so she says nasty things about you.

And the side benefit is that when you do this, women start wondering how are you not affected
by what they say
...and they start being interested in you.

I had more then one experience when I would approach a girl, and as she gave me a *shit* test,
I stayed completely unfazed or answered with something like a smile and "Well I'm glad you like it"... and they
stopped to talk to me.

Watch some James Bond movies, notice how women try to insult him but he somehow always
has a comeback that's not always witty, but more like interpreting everything a woman says
with "Yea, I know you love me..."

The point is that you have no control of what women will do, but you have 100% control of how
you respond
to what they do. You are always in power.

So play around with it, and see how it goes. You'll see you're getting better and better at it.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:01 am 
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It's nothing personal. If they reject you based on first impressions its because they don't like your physical presence in some way or they have a boyfriend or something. Could even be that your opener was weak. But those are just superficial things. They aren't really what YOU as a complete person represent or are capable of. We can't control how we look, nobody can. You just have to accept who you are and your natural limitations.

Or don't accept them. But if you don't then you'll need to put in that much more effort to overcome them. Just whatever you do don't start hating yourself and wishing you were something that you're not, because it's pointless and destructive. Turn those thoughts into acceptance and work on personal improvement that you do have control over.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 1:18 pm 
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I am also someone that doesn't like getting rejected. Something that really helps me is that i became really good at pre-screening my targets.
Say there are 10 women i will be approaching.

what i do is i go first for the ones where i am certain rejection will be minimal. That way my ego confidence are still high when i reach the last most difficult one.

For me there is nothing worst than trying to game just after being rejected.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:45 pm 
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All these messages seem to come from a point of celibacy, i.e. they're from the situation where you're not getting any sex already when approaching women, and so you come off as desperate. DON"T MAKE THAT MISTAKE! Women generally will only put out for a man who is ALREADY getting sex; i.e. women are like banks: they only give to those who don't need it.
If you get rejected while you're getting laid anyway, it'll be no problem; like your spare tire going flat.
So always be sure to be banging 5 other women at any given time; even if they're fat, ugly or old, your dick won't know the difference.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:53 am 
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Quote:
I believe that it doesn't matter how many compliments you get, how much money you make, how big your house or how fast of a car you drive... when a girl rejects you and you don't have the skills to game girls (Like me and many others), no matter what people tell you... you'll still feel like shit.

Now, although you guys are still human, most of you are so successful because you've become virtually immune to rejection.

Although I like who I am, when a girl comes along and rejects me I go FULL bitch. "Oh man, it's that I don't have a masculine bone structure!". "I'm too short!" "My voice is too high!" "girls hate guys with curly hair, that was probably it".

But before that girl, I LOVED who I was.

So, how do you maintain your self worth?
unfortunately, there's no way around. you need to fail to become successful. with every failure and painful rejection, you actually get better. there's no other way to demonstrate it than to watch Johnny Berba fail time and again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxBa1yqEvd0

he demonstrates no real PUA skills, but he plays the numbers game and doesn't take himself too seriously. if he can do it, i can do it.

so the number one question that most PUA's ask is: do you even approach? if you don't fail, you're not growing.

having said that, it also helps to small chunk things your way out of your head, so you don't actually get rejected. you just go from one stage to the next until you go all the way to the close. after all, how "painful" is it to say hi to random strangers? not very. so once you get used to that, you add one more interaction until you're 100% comfortable with that, and so on. here's a video on that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j72PZY_rzU4

let's face it: there are some things in life where you just can't get a short-cut. you have to experience the whole process to grow.

though if you want to practice, you can approach in no/low risk situations like at friend's parties where girls are friendlier and more open generally, because it's a party with friends. or business networking events.

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Andy

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:42 am 
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Quote:
I believe that it doesn't matter how many compliments you get, how much money you make, how big your house or how fast of a car you drive... when a girl rejects you and you don't have the skills to game girls (Like me and many others), no matter what people tell you... you'll still feel like shit.

Now, although you guys are still human, most of you are so successful because you've become virtually immune to rejection.

Although I like who I am, when a girl comes along and rejects me I go FULL bitch. "Oh man, it's that I don't have a masculine bone structure!". "I'm too short!" "My voice is too high!" "girls hate guys with curly hair, that was probably it".

But before that girl, I LOVED who I was.

So, how do you maintain your self worth?
Why have you allowed your sense of self-worth to be dictated by others? Who gave her permission to define you as a man?

You.

You gave her that permission. You gave your self-worth away. You surrendered to mediocrity and allowed others to hold you hostage. That's called slavery my friend.

No one is immune to rejection - there is no rejection when you know who you are. Does she know you? Does she know how awesome you are? Has she seen you take care of your sick little sister? Or stand up for what you believe in? Or how hard you work to make your dreams happen?

She doesn't know shit. Don't judge her for it either - she's not a bitch. Just as she doesn't know you, you don't know her either. Maybe she likes you and has a boyfriend so she thought she'd get rid of you so she wouldn't be tempted to cheat (which happens WAY more often than you think).

Know who you are and you take away others' right to define you. You become free, you become a lion. That should be your primary purpose. After that, you no longer associate meaningless things like 'rejection' as a reflection of your self-worth. It's simply unimportant and does not register in your reality.

Love
Mack

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:38 am 
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I don't really care if a woman rejected me. I do not take myself seriously so I really dont care. I believe that every rejection I go stronger and stronger.


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