Approach anxiety



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 Post subject: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 3:45 pm 
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Hey guys! I'm pretty new to the community but recently went out and had my first successful night sarging, getting a kiss close and a number close, and opening lots and lots of sets. My first few approaches I was so nervous I stumbled my way through them, but eventually I got used to it and it became smoother and smoother.

I didnt give myself a chance to get nervous. I went out into the smoking area where its more quiet to talk and just immediately walked into a set of girls and said something. I didnt know what i was going to say until i had done it but after that it was all good. Mystery I think talks about the 3 second opening where if you wait any more than 3 seconds you overthink the open and get too nervous. I agree with this and just wanted to share my experience and say that just walking into a set without knowing necessarily what you're going to say is a good way of doing it and getting over anxiety! You do not give yourself the time to get anxiety!

What are your guys thoughts on this?


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:44 am 
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Avoiding overthinking is always a good thing. Unfortunately a lot of guys cant just jump into sets like that. Its just too scary for them. But if they did it enough, over time they'll understand its really not a big deal and that its dead simple.

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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 11:43 pm 
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You are doing great! Focusing on your success is definitely the key for overcoming the initial anxiety.

Al


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:55 am 
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Good to hear that you are overcoming approach anxiety. You will do great. :-)


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 1:22 am 
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Sounds great and sounds like you were able to get in state that night. The first set or two any time you go out are to overcome the AA and then it's so easy. As u said, opening a set without knowing what you are going to say is great because when you are in state, the words just come out naturally without thinking.


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:58 pm 
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Very true with all being said. But there's also another thing about conquering AA. Besides the 3 second rule and all that, you also need to learn not to give a fuck. People's opinions, what people would say, rejection, what your mind thinks would happen if you do this or that; well all of that, you should not give a fuck. Just go and get done.

Always feel like yolo you know.. Like, what's the worse that could happen?

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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 9:26 am 
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I am so lucky to have a friend, he went to nightclubs ran into a girl, and then in a relationship, and afterwards I heard that the girl active devotion. He did not have time to think, no time to anxiety.


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 3:34 am 
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sounds accurate. We're always gonna have the fear before the approach. best method is to just take action immediately, and the fear will disappear.

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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:45 am 
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Anyone have any other advice besides 3 second rule and act fast and don't think about it? My approach anxiety is just too strong to act that fast.


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:31 pm 
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Anyone have any other advice besides 3 second rule and act fast and don't think about it? My approach anxiety is just too strong to act that fast.
Consider your approach in general. Ask yourself some of these questions and see where you come in. This will be something you do BEFORE leaving the house.

1. What do you have to offer? How can you contribute to the interaction? Useful belief: " I have all the skills and assets to make sure she enjoys the interaction as much as I do."

2. Why do you approach? What is the outcome you are looking for? Are you setting the bar too high? Useful belief:" I want to meet that person and make her day a little brighter."

3. Do you freeze up? Have nothing to say? or do you not know how to progress the interaction? Useful belief: "Everything and anything that comes out of her mouth is a gift." Even rejection - since in a long run you may not be compatible anyway. She is saving you loads of time, money and frustration.

4. In general, if people are healthy and not psychologically damaged, they welcome the interaction and love to meet new people. They love finding people of quality who have something to offer (doesn't have to be material). That's also called networking.

Pickup will teach you the ropes, but ultimately you have to have strong AND compelling reason to approach.

Hope this makes sense.
Al.


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 Post subject: Re: Approach anxiety
PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 7:04 am 
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that sounds awesome what you did, great job!
i'm working on my approach anxiety right now, what i've been doing is i'll go out every weekend and i'll force myself to do a set number of approaches, the most i've done in one night so far is 20.
after a couple nights of doing that, my aa has improved immensely. i've gotten girl's telling me to literally "fuck off", and i've gotten a lot of great responses as well, but the point is that i've done so many that i feel myself starting to become desensitized to failure or being embarassed, and i feel myself becoming smoother every time. i talk about my experiences so far in my pua vlog on youtube i just started, check it out for a good laugh.

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