I have soimething rather humbling to share and the title summerises it nicely, it's almost a FR but I think it belongs in this forum more-so.
So for starters I've had to admit to myself that I need advice getting into this side of being social, I have always been able to talk to people and hold a conversation but this weekend I've also had to admit this is only when they talk to me or I'm in a situation where it's designed to start a conversation ie. at work, to a help desk or in a shop. To combat this I went out this weekend with the expressed goal of approaching a stranger or a set of unknowns. Alas!
It was an event out of town which I love because I feel more free being away from the smallish town I live in where everyone seems to know everyone. I pumped myself up and genuinly got excited that I was going to meet some new people even some hotties! The event had us marching in a street parade (I'm in a scottish band) and then entertaining returning vets from veitnam. I was a little dissapointed, which I now know I shouldn't of been, that we were at a function for oldies. Most of the day I spent looking around waiting for the hot set to show and get my first real cold approach out of the way. I was talking to vets at the bar, groups of drunken oldies, groups of old ladies (one was even an aussie celebrity from the 70s which I found out later) but then it happened!
2 pretty young fillies probably mid 20s were sitting at a tall table talking to an old fella who had a bit to drink, I even thought to myself, "that must be their father". I looked, they looked bored with him, they looked up and just stared at me, no smile, in fact a look of discontent, almost as if they looked right through me. 1 second - oh hell they've seen me, 2 seconds - oh damn what opener should I use? 3 seconds - oh damn is that 3 seconds? 4 seconds - WTF am I doing I've been staring for 4 seconds! I smile and walk back to my table! defeated by something I didn't think existed in me.
So naturally I've done what most if not all of us do here and reflected on what could of been and how my head is my own worst enemy, in fact writing this to you all now has shown me even more! I was approaching all day, maybe not hotties, but randoms! I have what it takes to talk to anyone I just need to be my own wing and kick myself in the ass at 2 seconds! I've realised that people are just people, if there are people out in public they're not hermits, we're all there to socialise. Sure we might laugh and recall embarrassing contact but we recall it none the less, and when there's something that surprises us we tell multiple friends. In fact we, my band and I, were starting to go hungry and there was a barely touched platter provided by the caterers (more for the vets not specifically for the band) and in order to look after my friends I approached and after a small conversation we not only got the platter but they organised 3 others for the whole table!
To myself on that day I say that I need to stop putting the hotties (7s+) out of reach and realise we all just want to be surprised by other humans in this world, the act of approaching is worth more than the approach itself and while rejection is a part of life it happens way less than we feel it does! I'm heading out of town, out of the state actually, this weekend and I'll have a wing beside me (a mate who first got me to read the game and look into PUA communities) and I will be putting this into practice! be excited for next week when I submit an FR or 2.