How to not give too much value to her looks?



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Social Shyness & Anxiety




Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:39 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:54 am
Posts: 64
Location: California
Talking to girls who look average or below average is super easy for me. In fact I make jokes and find it easy to make decisions. I pay little attention to what I'm saying and speak my mind confidently without focusing on her feedback. My personality completely changes when I'm around a girl who looks beautiful. I talk softly, stay quiet most of the time. i become very indecisive. it becomes impossible for me to decide what to do on a date or where to take her or meet her. My mind is inevitably focusing on her reaction of what Im saying. I become so fixated on evaluating what im going to say to her that I fail to do the basic task of having a good conversation wth her. It's like a pilot who gets so fixated on the bad weather that he forgets to see his instruments needed to fly the plane and ends up in a crash.

Over all I feel afraid. I think I am giving too much value to her just based on her looks. My fear still remains even if she is dum like for e.g. thinks Europe is a country.

How can I talk normally to a beautiful woman?


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:39 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2013 4:10 am
Posts: 69
I think you are being " shy " around these girls because their beauty brings out your own insecurities. you think " ah, this girl isn't so great looking, so she wont mind if I'm not perfect ether". Therefore, you are comfortable because you know she isn't perfect, so you don't have to be ether! However, a HB10 APPEARS to be perfect on the outside, and hence you feel more pressure to be perfect on the inside. This leaks out all over you in your apprehensive ways you worry about things you are saying to her, and what she thinks of you.

The cure?

STEP 1) STOP BEING SO DAMNED INSECURE! Your not perfect. You never will be. Once you are happy with yourself, then you can be yourself around others. step 1 is much more difficult to do then step 2.

STEP 2) She has the appearance of perfection, but she isn't even CLOSE to perfection. I want you to really think about this one. She is just as close to perfection as you are. Logically speaking, perfection is the same thing as infinity, because it is unattainable. Hence, you are just as close as she is. What does all this mean? she is just a human being. You are just a human being.

relax and calm down brother. :) Everything will be alright! just have fun, its not a job. You aren't getting paid to preform. You aren't going to get a gold medal for tapping that ass. No one is watching.


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:53 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:54 am
Posts: 64
Location: California
Quote:
However, a HB10 APPEARS to be perfect on the outside, and hence you feel more pressure to be perfect on the inside. This leaks out all over you in your apprehensive ways you worry about things you are saying to her, and what she thinks of you.
This is so true. Very good insight.
Quote:
Once you are happy with yourself, then you can be yourself around others.
How do you be happy with yourself when all your friends from childhood are getting better grades, making more money and are physically fit?
Quote:
Logically speaking, perfection is the same thing as infinity, because it is unattainable. Hence, you are just as close as she is.
This is awesome. I just love this logical proof.


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:16 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2013 4:10 am
Posts: 69
Quote:
Once you are happy with yourself, then you can be yourself around others.
How do you be happy with yourself when all your friends from childhood are getting better grades, making more money and are physically fit?

Better grades is just a symptom of study. If you are putting in the time, you will get good grades also. It doesn't mean that they are better. It just means that they put more time in study. Money doesn't get you girls. Money doesn't get you anything but faster cars and bigger houses. As long as you have food in your belly, a place to stay and a way of getting to sarging locations, who cares how much money they have! Physically fit is nice to have, and its another one of those things that is completely attainable by everyone. If you don't have it..work on it. that being said, having an excellent body does not get you hot chicks. Confidence does. The bottom line is this: If you can fix a problem, then fix it, otherwise don't even waste your time worrying about it. For instance, If i was born with no legs, its just a waste of time to worry about a girl not liking me cuz i have no legs, because there is NOTHING i can do about it. But, if i spend my time worrying about how thick my eyebrows are, that also silly, because i can just fix the problem. Therefore, worrying, no matter how you look at it, is a waste of time. Just be who you are, and be happy with it, because that is all you got.


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:29 am 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:44 am
Posts: 734
Better grades, making more money and being physically fit - all three of those come down to you.

Grades - some of your friends may be naturally more intelligent than you. So you study more than they do to balance that out. You see really intelligent people thinking they'll cruise through exams and then struggling because they've done no revision, whilst slightly less intelligent people put in the extra hours and get better grades.

More money - again, this is all about yourself. If you work hard and further your own skills, you will get more money. Yeah, there will always be some people with more money than you, but you can still be earning a very "attractive" salary just through putting in the effort to climb through your company's ranks or get a promotion etc..

Fitness - get down the gym. Go for a run.

None of these things are actually very important to girls unless they are important to you. Clearly they are important to you. So you've got two options;

1) Go and do something about them - work harder for better grades, put in more hours at work or take a course outside of work hours which will benefit you and may help get you that promotion for a better salary, or look for a different job more suited to you, get down the gym etc. etc.

2) Change what is important to you. Are these things actually important to you, or are they just what you think should be important? There are plenty of people who have worked very hard and earned lots of money who die with regrets at having had a shit life. There are plenty of people who have struggled economically throughout their lives or who dropped out of school without even doing exams who die happy with what they've achieved. It's different for everyone, but money, grades and a nice body aren't things which need to be important to you.


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 10:30 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2013 12:53 pm
Posts: 20
Quote:
She is just as close to perfection as you are. Logically speaking, perfection is the same thing as infinity, because it is unattainable. Hence, you are just as close as she is.
Fantastic way of putting it, that's going on the cheat sheet ;)


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 7:18 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:49 am
Posts: 5
I've thought about how much value us men give women simply because of physical appearance. For a shy afc like me, looks are deadly.
One thing i've tried to do when talking to attractive women is to try imagining them without makeup, because honestly a lot of girls look weird without their make up. I've seen women who look like women with make up, but look like men without it. HAHA.

And another thing I try to realize with women's looks is that, a womans make up is exactly that....make up. Its an altered appearance that women can use to hide their worst features and make them seem more desirable. It's like a short man wearing platform shoes, or a fat person wearing one of those thinning belts. Its fake.
A mans attraction value is still very primal. Other than money. His confidence, strength, protectiveness, ambition, drive, intelligence makes him attractive. It feels good to know that us men still have to have that animal instinct to attract.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link