Need motivation



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Social Shyness & Anxiety




Author Message
 Post subject: Need motivation
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:28 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:54 am
Posts: 4
Ok so I'm obviously new to the website and my main problem is a lack of motivation.

I usually am ok with talking to people in general minus occasional awkward quips. I've had sex with girls and sometimes approaching really isn't a problem for me if I'm with some of my buddies. My problem is that I always rationalize ways out of approaching girls alone. I know you're not supposed to think about it like the 3-second rule but I tell myself to go and I don't. That's the thing. I just sit there, there isn't really an impetus for me to jump in it. I want to but I don't. When I'm with friends or even girls I know I crack jokes and am pretty likeable but when I'm around people I don't, I guess I don't assume the same sense of humor but it comes off as me being boring. I don't really like that. I'm also pretty new to the whole PUA concept.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:43 pm 
Offline
The Coach
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
Quote:
Ok so I'm obviously new to the website and my main problem is a lack of motivation.

I usually am ok with talking to people in general minus occasional awkward quips. I've had sex with girls and sometimes approaching really isn't a problem for me if I'm with some of my buddies. My problem is that I always rationalize ways out of approaching girls alone. I know you're not supposed to think about it like the 3-second rule but I tell myself to go and I don't. That's the thing. I just sit there, there isn't really an impetus for me to jump in it. I want to but I don't. When I'm with friends or even girls I know I crack jokes and am pretty likeable but when I'm around people I don't, I guess I don't assume the same sense of humor but it comes off as me being boring. I don't really like that. I'm also pretty new to the whole PUA concept.
You need to stop being outcome dependent. Just talk to people.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:59 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
I have a little problem like yours, only I don't have problems approaching people specifically... it's more like I feel impeded from taking things further to protect my ego from harm. For example, I sometimes hesitate when approaching people and don't escalate with girls I easily could take things further with, although when I am put under pressure by a wingman it's so much easier!

I basically got a level in game where my unconscious mind thought "I'm better than most people now, I should just try and maintain this level of competency without threatening my state." But obviously, I would like to improve and push through

These rationalisations you make is basically your ego's way of protecting you from potential harm. You have to push through them! Because a man with a desensitised ego doesn't care about putting his nuts on the chopping block; you become incredibly unstifled, enjoy the moment thoroughly, escalate harder and it's generally easier. Think of the times when you've been really instate - like that!

The easiest way to desensitise your ego is to GET REJECTED and CONSTANTLY BREAK THROUGH YOUR RATIONALISATIONS AND PUSH YOURSELF FURTHER.

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 11:40 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2012 6:44 am
Posts: 7
I have this problem also. But I did something last night when I went out to the club. I told myself I'm there to have fun and not try looking for women. If it happens, it happens and take it from there. When you are trying to look for women, you will go into the mindset of this and it will fuck it up.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 5:52 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
It's the best way, if you focus on relaxing and having fun you can't ever lose (feel bad)! At the same time you need to go about your business though and take your development curve quite seriously... it's a bit of a paradox. So you would aim to have fun through the medium of game. It is fun after all :)

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:18 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:54 am
Posts: 4
Thanks for the replies guys.

Majikal: You're totally right, I recently just started talking to people and it makes things pressure free!

Ninja: Yeah dude I do the same thing haha. I feel oddly pressured in those situations to do something but I get crazy nervous. Not so much anymore but it's still there.

Jack: Yeah, I've thought that before and it's cool to focus on a good time and all but I do want to get over my strange AA.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:42 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:54 am
Posts: 4
Update:

I've been watching more stand up and distancing myself from my current friends to try and meet new people/ game on my own. It's been going decently well. I still need to do the newbie mission to see if I'm over my AA but I'm handling that today. Post later on how it went.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 12:00 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:00 pm
Posts: 10
This is an area where I think the unnatural game techniques like NLP can help. You can specifically set up an anchor if you want. When I first started this I clicked a pen to feel proud, strong and unstoppable. You should probably do something else because the pen creates too much noise. Another way to help motivate yourself is to change your physiology. This is going to sound silly, but don't knock it till you try it. Before you go out, spend two minutes in front of your bathroom mirror with your back straight and your chin turned slightly upward. Then put your hands on the side of your waist.

Basically, pose like Superman when he stand for truth, justice, and the American way. While you're at it, smile too. This will get you in a confident, motivated state and it should help squelch any approach anxiety you may have.

I'm not a fan of creating anchors on women. It's not necessary and I feel like a sleazeball doing it so I just do this kind of stuff to myself so I am more confident and talkative. I used to model Vince Vaughn from Swingers too, but its better to let your own personality shine through.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 4:18 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:43 pm
Posts: 5
It sounds like you might just be a little more self conscious around new people (and I am too, I think it's just natural). But here are some quotes by Marcus Aurelius that could decrease this or I feel apply here:

"And he cares nothing for their praise-men who can't even meet their own standards."

"Or is it your reputation that's bothering you. But look at how soon we're all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands. The people who praise us- how capricious they, how arbitrary. And the tiny region in which it all takes place."

"The tranquillity that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do."

"Or damaged by contempt? Is an emerald suddenly flawed if no one admires it?"

"Nothing that goes on in anyone else's mind can harm you."


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Need motivation
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:43 am 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:54 am
Posts: 4
Untamed: Weird that you mentioned this, last week I started doing power poses lol I haven't done the smiling part so I'll be sure to incorporate that ASAP

Thanks for the quotes, very motivational!


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link