Is there anything more frightening than approaching a group of strangers not know how it will end up?
All of our internal systems are on high alert. Of course through an evolutionary perspective, yes strangers are dangerous. Our DNA addresses strangers, especially hot babes, as a direct threat who carries the risk of REJECTION and all the INSECURITIES that follows it.
But, guess what? [Chicken butt .. haha] … The opposite can be true! Strangers, hot babes, guys, ugly girls, mediocre girls, and girls with chicken pox, can represent opportunity! This opportunity I speak of is the opportunity to learn, to make new connections, and to build bridges that will benefit all! And more importantly, it's the opportunity to hone your skills of being a superior man (aka Superman). And even most importantly ^_^ [purposely put bad grammar her], to provide a gift, that value of being sincere to the girl/group.
Did you know when taking high risk approaches/action you have a 90% success rate? But, that 10% failure …. is really super embarrassing and will directly target your self image. Guess which one, a typical human being, would focus their awareness on? The 90% success rate or the 10% super awkward failure rate?
This is an INTERNAL debate, not something that comes from outside (aka EXTERNAL Environment). When we look for rejection and reasons to hold back, that’s exactly what we will find [AKA: You have approach anxiety]. On the other hand, if we seek the possibilities and look for people that need us as much as we need them, there they are [aka: You being sincere ^_^].
So wtf does being sincere mean and how is this an important trait of removing anxiety? Let me elaborate for you ….
First off, don't get the wrong idea of Nice guy = sincere person because the difference between the two is that the person who is super sincere get's laid and the nice guy doesn't. Meaning the sincere guy, isn't doing any favours, spending money on the girl, and are not dancing monkeys. This is where most guys are all confused. The nice guy would compliment, do favours, take girls on expensive dates to seek a reaction or a return. They think that by doing all of this, they are being sincere. But, actually they are trying to sell themselves to the girl.
A sincere guy is seriously focusing solely on making the other person happy. Meaning they are no longer worried or self absorbed with themselves (aka they are in self pity mode :p). You simply putting all your awareness and your mental focus on "making her smile
A couple of tests to see if you are being sincere:
1) can you isolate the girl immediatly? This is done by thinking, "Oh, she is going to love this!" they will be pretty receptive to the isolation.
2) can you approach guys with their girl friends and be invited to the group?
Girls, and people in general, can smell when someone needs nothing from them and only has their best interest in mind. The same with girls being able to smell guys who are supplicating and are desperate.
Let's return back to approach anxiety. The reason why someone has approach anxiety is because they have BAD INTENTIONS or WANT a return from the girl/group. They are afraid because they might not GET what they want.
-Most guys approach girls from a place of total self pity, desperate for the girl to be nice to them.
You don't have to be a dancing monkey to interact with the girl/group! Just be your normal self but have your focus and mind set to, "I'm making her/them have fun!" That general vibe and mind set that you are enjoying your night and making others have fun with you.
- But, of course you'll still need to lead the interaction to where you want it to conclude. You can still diss girls who are being rude to you, you don't want to be a push over, you still have to be dominant, tease girls, and again you MUST LEAD. But, doing all of that coming from a sincere place ^_^!
- Again the focus is on her! By focusing on the well being of others will help you stay PRESENT or be in the MOMENT. This is good because staying in the moment will allow you to have a full range of human emotions as opposed to being a robot or a cartoon charter who simply wants a return from them. The benefits of being sincere is that you will become more witty and more enjoyable to be around. The opposite would be having anxiety that your brain freezes, you run out of things to say because something inside of you knows that you don't have good intentions :p.
- For example, by me being sincere I can normally move/isolate the girl right after I open, and make out very early. But, if you are not being sincere and instead are looking to gain some value off of her, she can smell your neediness and will lose interests in you.
- So if you do have anxiety of any kind, just repeat to your self, "This will be realy fun for her" or "I'm going to make her have so much fun by my approach!"
- Assume the belief that by being sincere will provide value!