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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 12:59 am 
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I finally got my inner self sorted out where i don't need women or looking for women to fill some hole in my character for me.

But i want a girlfriend, or even just a girl who's a friend. Girls are fun and honestly i light up around them. I would love to hang out with a girl on a Saturday or Friday night. Don't think its gonna happen anytime soon though. :(

Thats fine tho i'll spend these nights going out and just hitting on as many women as i can and have fun while doing it. My best aspect of me is im a good/ funny conversationalist.

Problem though
- I hardly have enough courage to go in and stay in. I just don't approach. I always stay away from groups with a guy. WHY? he can't be banging all of them. I see two girls talking alone. I think ahh they just don't want to be bothered. BUT there at a bar.

Its weird because if i look back i have actually a good amount of interactions with women. I get laughter out of them easily. I think i really found out how to win a girls trust when meeting her. I just can't progress it sexually. I'm a virgin which explains alot i'm sure. I really feel unqualified for girls. I shouldn't though.

I want to get this sorted out and be having fun with girls, shit i'm 23 it's about time. I'm really dedicated to turning this around.

Someone tell me why i shouldn't feel inadequate around girls. help me bring myself to somewhere better.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:01 am 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
Quote:
I finally got my inner self sorted out where i don't need women or looking for women to fill some hole in my character for me.

But i want a girlfriend, or even just a girl who's a friend. Girls are fun and honestly i light up around them. I would love to hang out with a girl on a Saturday or Friday night. Don't think its gonna happen anytime soon though. :(

Thats fine tho i'll spend these nights going out and just hitting on as many women as i can and have fun while doing it. My best aspect of me is im a good/ funny conversationalist.

Problem though
- I hardly have enough courage to go in and stay in. I just don't approach. I always stay away from groups with a guy. WHY? he can't be banging all of them. I see two girls talking alone. I think ahh they just don't want to be bothered. BUT there at a bar.

Its weird because if i look back i have actually a good amount of interactions with women. I get laughter out of them easily. I think i really found out how to win a girls trust when meeting her. I just can't progress it sexually. I'm a virgin which explains alot i'm sure. I really feel unqualified for girls. I shouldn't though.

I want to get this sorted out and be having fun with girls, shit i'm 23 it's about time. I'm really dedicated to turning this around.

Someone tell me why i shouldn't feel inadequate around girls. help me bring myself to somewhere better.



Wtf is a 120 pound girl going to do to harm you? :)

Welcome to the forum bro! Glad to see you want to change!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:18 am 
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Quote:

Wtf is a 120 pound girl going to do to harm you? :)

Welcome to the forum bro! Glad to see you want to change!
Lol i know i really think its just the people around the situation at the time. I'm afraid of being judged by the bystanders. I just can't get past the fear... Shit ill read about it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:39 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

Wtf is a 120 pound girl going to do to harm you? :)

Welcome to the forum bro! Glad to see you want to change!
Lol i know i really think its just the people around the situation at the time. I'm afraid of being judged by the bystanders. I just can't get past the fear... Shit ill read about it.
Approach the bystanders. Oh and go out and get laid already, stop making excuses. You just said you have good interactions with them. You're the only one standing in your way because I am willing to bet there are willing women out there.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:49 am 
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The Coach
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Location: Chicago, IL
Quote:
Quote:

Wtf is a 120 pound girl going to do to harm you? :)

Welcome to the forum bro! Glad to see you want to change!
Lol i know i really think its just the people around the situation at the time. I'm afraid of being judged by the bystanders. I just can't get past the fear... Shit ill read about it.
Stop worrying about your reputation and worrying about what other people might think of you...


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:50 am 
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Bro I understand where you coming from, but you dont really have your inner game sorted out if you feel inferior around them.

Try to find something about yourself and you love and will always light you up or make you smile. Then when you encounter those group of think, bring that thought u again. You gonna smile, make gonna be on something else and your mind is not gonna be on your anxiety, then just make eye contact.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 2:20 am 
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Quote:
Approach the bystanders.
lmao love it.
Quote:
Stop worrying about your reputation and worrying about what other people might think of you...
Shit i wish. This is has been a major problem for me now that i think on it.

Quote:
Bro I understand where you coming from, but you dont really have your inner game sorted out if you feel inferior around them.

Try to find something about yourself and you love and will always light you up or make you smile. Then when you encounter those group of think, bring that thought u again. You gonna smile, make gonna be on something else and your mind is not gonna be on your anxiety, then just make eye contact.
I don't feel inferior to girls. I feel as though i can't sexually satisfy them. And i think that thought bleeds through me a bit. Bullshit virgin reasons i know and i'm really trying to rid my self of it. And my inner game can always be better.

I go to bars alone all the time. And when i'm staring into a corner or a crowd. I think of something funny or good and i crack i smile. I'm comfortable like that. I just don't have the drive to go up to girls i see and start spitting game. :?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 2:34 am 
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Ok in that case;

1) Your a "virgin", so how do you know that you wont satisfy them sexually until you try. I would understand if you had a bad experience and said that but since you never experienced it , why dont you think that YOU WILL be good in bed your first try?

2) Attempt girls by themselves at first. To fight that fear, either pretend they are one of your friends so you would be comfortable or go gaming looking to be rejected and make fun of it. You stated that you are a funny conversationalist so you will be comfortable once the convo starts. Dnt worry about what to say or you will think too hard lol

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 05, 2013 7:07 pm 
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Hi frogdude.

I want to give you my innergame. When you understand it, there's no one above you.

It's all a matter of charity versus selfishness.

One side or another motivates people: love or fear, charity or selfishness.

True love is cathexis aimed toward others and caring about others' spiritual, physical, emotional, and psychological development. It is easiest to remember that the highest emotion is loving charity.

Likewise the lowest emotion is self-loving fearful selfishness. A lot of women act on this self-preservation mechanism. Their "bitch shield" is actually just their fear and self-preserving defensiveness in action.

So how do you reroute this? Call them on it. Ask, "What is better; love or fear?"

The King James version of the bible translates the word "love" as "charity". When you flip the script you find the opposites to be fear and selfishness.

Ultimately you want to see the whole world this way. Every act by every person is either an act of charity or an act of selfishness. Not only does this lessen the blow of rejection (because she was undoubtedly fearful and selfish), it also helps you to realize that your own actions are motivated by one of these two emotions.

Why does a murderer murder? Because he is afraid that there is no one to love him and he does the selfish desire of his heart.

Why does a rapist rape? Because he is afraid that there is no one to love him and he does the selfish desire of his heart.

Why does a woman shut you out? Because she is afraid that there is no one to love her and she does the selfish desire of her heart.

Every situation is the same. Often times when people experience the awful experience of having a loved one taken from them by a killer they ask themselves "Why?" and they chalk it up to something they cannot ever answer. But the truth is that the killer feared something and decided not to love others (charity) but love himself (selfishness) and do the wicked deeds of his heart.

So when a woman shuts you down she is likewise choosing selfishness over charity. Try appealing to her sense of justice. Ask her how she feels about starving children in Africa. If she has a conscience she'll talk to you. If she is already to fearful and selfish she'll keep shutting you down. In that case, be grateful that you aren't with her. She needs psychological help.

Learn to understand the world around you and the motivations for everyone's choices. When you figure it all out and finally have no more questions as to why people do the things they do, you will be able to see the painting of reality and notice its beauty. Other still stuck in the matrix will be too busy paying attention to the dusty frame of reality (the confusion of why bad things happen), but you will be able to show them the beautiful painting and arouse a sleeping romantic inside of them.

As much time as you dedicate to learning social interaction, spend some time learning to convey the impulses that cause humanity to act so erratic. You might change a woman's perspective and completely ingratiate her toward you.

That's my $0.02

-Bluesy

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-Bluesy


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:38 pm 
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There is a lot of good information on learning how to make a woman squirt or at least play with the clit to give her an orgasm. I bet you she hasn't been with many randos who have been able to give her even an orgasm the first time, most guys focus on them and just fucking. Read up on this information and you'll learn you can get her off without even sticking your dick in her. Plus if its the first time with any girl there's a good chance it'll be awkward so shell probably be worried about herself more than you. If your hammered it'll be that much more sloppy.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:38 pm 
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^ will do
Quote:
Hi frogdude.
Learn to understand the world around you and the motivations for everyone's choices. When you figure it all out and finally have no more questions as to why people do the things they do, you will be able to see the painting of reality and notice its beauty. Other still stuck in the matrix will be too busy paying attention to the dusty frame of reality (the confusion of why bad things happen), but you will be able to show them the beautiful painting and arouse a sleeping romantic inside of them.

As much time as you dedicate to learning social interaction, spend some time learning to convey the impulses that cause humanity to act so erratic. You might change a woman's perspective and completely ingratiate her toward you.
-Bluesy
Agreed.

Just posting here to let everyone kno i smashed through that AA i have. Holy shit i'm having a good time approaching and i get a lot of laughs and good vibes. I just don't lead the interaction into attraction which I better get learning on thanks everyone!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 12:12 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
Quote:
I finally got my inner self sorted out where i don't need women or looking for women to fill some hole in my character for me.

But i want a girlfriend, or even just a girl who's a friend. Girls are fun and honestly i light up around them. I would love to hang out with a girl on a Saturday or Friday night. Don't think its gonna happen anytime soon though. :(

Thats fine tho i'll spend these nights going out and just hitting on as many women as i can and have fun while doing it. My best aspect of me is im a good/ funny conversationalist.

Problem though
- I hardly have enough courage to go in and stay in. I just don't approach. I always stay away from groups with a guy. WHY? he can't be banging all of them. I see two girls talking alone. I think ahh they just don't want to be bothered. BUT there at a bar.

Its weird because if i look back i have actually a good amount of interactions with women. I get laughter out of them easily. I think i really found out how to win a girls trust when meeting her. I just can't progress it sexually. I'm a virgin which explains alot i'm sure. I really feel unqualified for girls. I shouldn't though.

I want to get this sorted out and be having fun with girls, shit i'm 23 it's about time. I'm really dedicated to turning this around.

Someone tell me why i shouldn't feel inadequate around girls. help me bring myself to somewhere better.
I have a similar problem to yours; I used to be able to progress things sexually earlier on when I was still chodey (but had little experience getting laid). Now that I am familiar with the process of bringing girls back my unconscious is basically saying "I'm good enough now compared to most men", and so I find myself paralysed to take things further because my ego is trying to protect me from potential harm (which is btw, IRRATIONAL).

The virginity problem will sort itself out. I know mine did, now I'm actually pretty good in bed! Even with the shitty ego problems holding me back, I'm still able to bang an average amount of girls (7 in 1 year + 2 months of pickup, if you need a statistic).

Whenever you feel a rationalisation, that's your cue to DEFY IT and PUSH THROUGH! Otherwise you're wasting your time in field.

It's good to have a wingman for the harder sets. My new wingman forces me into sets, and if we're not escalating hard enough we pinch each other really hard :P

_________________
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Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 6:40 pm 
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I had approach anxiety for 21 years. Then I travelled to Spain. I stayed there for twelve days. I was still shy. I did almost nothing. But then on the last day I forced myself to say, "Hi" to a girl and ended up with a very short conversation. This was my breaking point. This caused me to switch a button.

Now I'm 22 years old. A lot changed in less than a year. All the fun with women I had happened in the last 9 months. This is how I changed. You can change too. There are two things you should do. Read books about self-confidence and then cold approach women. That's only way to deal with approach anxiety. At the beginning keep your expectations low. Keep it very casual. Don't try to pick up chicks. Then, if you are more comfortable talking to female strangers go to the next level.

And the thing about a group of girls with one guy, don't pay much attention to the guy. This one time, I was in a night club and a girl was alone. I opened and we began talking. A few minutes later a guy comes and I politely said, "I'll leave you two guys alone." The guy said to me, "Oh no, stay! She's not my girlfriend. She's all yours."


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