I am a 22 year old male who, in the area I live atleast, alot of females think I am easy on the eyes (or so I am told). I am suffering from early phases of male pattern baldness, but I dont let it get to me too much. No matter where I go, I am told I have beautiful eyes, which I love because they keep people guessing (they are "chameleon" and also change based on mood. Pretty awesome, I think). I am a peacock. I wear pretty outrageous things, especially when others tell me I probably shouldnt. I admit it, I am a pretty confident guy, especially compared to what I used to be (very shy introvert who tried not to stand out often). I have taken steps away from old me and into new me, and I love it. I know the ladies notice, which was a part (along side the self bettering aspect of it) of doing the change, but I guess it is where I reach what can be classified as a bit of a sp. I lose confidence whenever I talk to women, or they to me. Hell, perfect example of this occured today at the gas station. I walked in, bought 2 gatorade ls from the cellphone distracted 6 running the register. I noticed an 8, the attendants friend, standing behind the register area and off to the side, and smiled. She smiled back, and joked with me about my shirt, which read "Lets get drunk and do stupid stuff." So, in responce to her itteration of what was on my shirt, I raised my arms, a million things surged through my mind to say at once, nervousness set in, and I only managed an, "ALRIGHT!" Before I let the nerves lead me out of the store and to my car. I didnt even think to stay and try to further communicate until I left. And this almost always happens when I try to talk to women. Always has. I have managed to increase my confidence and rational thinking in the rest of life, but when it comes to actually talking to women I freak and the confidence goes out the window. I am thinking of learning some indirect approach techniques, but dont wish to rely on just them. Should I start with indirect approaches to help the confidence? Because I can usually talk to targets if I am more comfortable with their crowds. And are there any exercises I can do to work the confidence of talking directly to targets instead of only indirect approaches for when people approach me, or they arent in a crowd

Question: Why do you wear a shirt like that if it has zero conversational value?

The point to wearing something like that is to get a reaction right? Next time just sit down and think of funny/witty comebacks to people talking about your shirt.

“It’s weird cos I’m stupid and I don’t drink.”
“My friends always tell me girls think I’m an idiot when I wear shirts like this. Sometimes being an idiot is fun.” (wait for an answer, usually close to “I think its cute actually”)

*This comment seeds little things in her brain, 1. You have friends 2. You don’t care what they think 3. You are your own, independent man 4. She knows you are an idiot in the most fun and goofy way.

There are so many ways to look down at your shirt and then look up and give a witty comment with a sly smile. Women think stuff like that is hot and mysterious. Take advantage of what women WANT to feel.

In this case, your shirt is your WINGMAN….except you totally screwed his efforts to introduce you.

Don’t confuse the fact that just because somebody is calm and collected when talking to women that they didn’t practice or study what they want to say. Its not all just natural.

The important part is understanding what is confident. A great resource for brimming confidence is TV/movies. Apply awesome aspects of character personalities to your own. To an extent, MIMIC people. Ever watch Mad Men? If you do, you know Don Draper is as smooth as they come. Yes he’s supposed to be THE MAN, but disregard his appearance and focus on his tone, his cadence and the way he looks at people. Start trying certain things on people and check the reaction. You can learn a lot just by sitting on your sofa with a bag of funyans.

You have the tools, you just aren’t applying them correctly. And that’s great news.