Hey Sex Addict

Great thread really enjoying it, a lot resonates with me so thanks for your efforts as I'm learning and having stuff I already feel is correct for me reinforced. Just thought I'd mention something I noticed over time which came to mind after you mentioned the 3 look IOI thing.

This is when your out and you meet a girl for the first time, normally happens when I'm with friends (shes one of the friends I dont know) or it could be a work thing and its someone you meet for the first time etc.

Best to give an example as it will be clearer then. So I was out with a friend having beers one weekday after work, he tells me his sister in law is out with her friends and shes just moved to town so we should go meet her in this restaurant they are in. Anyway we gate crash with a bunch of people and start eating with them.

Now I barely spoke to the girl as she was too far down the table, I was polite, had a good conversation with some of her friends and was generally a good egg for the 1 or 2hrs we were there. Her and her friends then had to bounce so we all went outside, said goodbye, she went and hugged everyone (bare in mind she'd met us all for the first time) except me.

Initially I was like WTF does she like me or is there something wrong with me! But after a few days of wrestling this over in my mind (over thinking) I was sure she liked me because she must have been nervous and thats why she didnt hug me, either that or I smelled or had a bogey on my face. Or both.

Anyway to bring this to an end, I found out she did like me and it clicked that every other time I had seen this behaviour it had been "on" and I had been too stupid to realise it and instead wondered what was wrong with me and why she was being distant. Of course this only applies if you haven't been a twat beforehand.

Moral of the story? If you feel it's on, its on.

Don't mean to hijack your thread SA, just thought it may help other noobs who see this sort of thing and are wondering how to interpret it.

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Do what you love, surround yourself with like minded people and loved ones, be generous, forgive = Happiness

hey sexaddict,

my question is this: i met some girls but once i got their number they dont reply at all or once she only offered me her facebook when i asked for her number but didnt respond or accept request. i know u said girls are flaky and emotional. and you said to strike while hot and set up a date but im not looking for a girlfriend right now or have time to spend an hour or more each day one a date. I just want to have like lots of hot friends who i can potentially hook up with and text when i am bored. what should i do?

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Just trying to meet a 10.

Women will often give out their numbers just to avoid any type of attitude or displacement. In other words, they will give their number out to a guy just to polite or to shut him up or avoid potential drama. Yet she
has no interest or intention to hook up with you. (It's important to identify this in women and not even bother asking her for the digits yet) You have not built enough attraction, intrigue or connection. You need to give the woman a reason to want to talk to you again. A reason to remember you.

When you do ask for a number be sure to associate it with hanging out or meeting up again or getting to know each other better. It can be anything from inviting her to your place, a night/day out or taking her somewhere cool or just hanging out. Be sure to state a reason for exchanging digits and make sure she knows you have some interest in her( tell her directly/body language)


Since I cant possibly know how well your interactions are going nor do I know your experience I can really only generalize, but here are some comments you can say during the number exchange that may help you get a better picture of where you stand with the girl....

I don't want your number if you have no intention on getting to know me better.
If we exchange numbers I expect to see you again soon (smile)
I just want you to know I'm not the type to give out my number then ignore the person.( smile)


Here's my number, text me hello then i'll have yours. if I don't hear from you i'll be very sad and you will be missing out. ( smile)
Here's my number you are now part of an elite club, use it wisely. (wink)
I'm going to give you my number but only if you promise to text me. can also add (and let me know you're home safe)

These are just examples or things you can say. It's not as important to have the right thing to say as it is important to know the right time to say it. Don't ask a woman for her number until you know she has an interest in you. How do you know? It's simple. State your interest in her( words/body language) and your interest to see her again. Don't be afraid to let her know your want her or to get to know her better. Her reactions will dictate everything, if she responds well and show's interest in return, then she will most likely reply.

Unfortunately to have a lot of hot friends and potential to hook up with them you will have to have more then an hour a day to spare and you have to add value. what you are describing is a lifestyle. That takes time and effort and becoming a desirable man (this can take time but is always worth it)

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

correct me if Im wrong: ways of adding value: humorous, interesting, money, interesting activities/lifestyle, same interests, engaging conversations, cant think of much more other than social proof

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Just trying to meet a 10.

First of all, thanks for all your info (I haven't read the entire thread so I'm going on this all that you are in fact who you are saying you are). I know this goes back a bit but I know you still post here so I appreciate you answering this one for me.

The 'gaze' you're talking about here, can you perhaps post a link to an example of this, because I think I know the look you're talking about. Sort of like when one squints their eyes like when reading something with great intensity or listening to someone tell a story and finding it fascinating?

Hey sexaddict

Can I ask bro what you've found works for you in making girls jealous and wanting to be with you? I have an opportunity to try with a girl who I don't mind losing but equally wouldnt mind haha

Thanks in advance man!
TAM

Oh and yeah i'd be interested in your response to Omega's Q
I think I've seen this in a few chicks interested in me actually, correct me if I'm wrong but is this gaze you're describing like the glossy eyed, firmly fixed gaze on you looking deep into your eyes, their pupils often dilated and kind of 'twinkling/smiling' at you??

Cheers man

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To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle

Yeah, I know that look you're describing there but the one I'm thinking of is the kind of look you might see when somebody's looking at something and going ..... "hmmmm...."

I've seen this one recently when I might be talking to somebody in the office and the girl turns around and looks at me, almost as if to hear what I'm talking about. But I sense, it's more than that....

Whilst you're answering that question, another one.

How tall are you, and if you're no giant, I'm assuming out of the 800 you've gotten with some that were probably taller, am I right? Do you game them differently or are they not that different to girls smaller or of equal height?

Yes I'd say you are correct, it's kind of like a gaze of content, usually when you are the one doing the talking she will appear to be hanging off every word you say, even if it's not incredibly interesting. It's quite an overwhelming look and will usually have an affect on your if you catch it. It has stopped my words dead at times and I'd totally forget what I was saying, or in the least it would make me pause and smile. It's hard to describe as it is more so coupled with an emotional feeling. What I am saying is that, it's not so much a specific look as it is a specific feeling, coupled with a look. In other words, its not an exact look it can have quite a few variations depending on the situation and person, but there is some definite commonalities.

Looking up with wide eyes, squinting eyes with a semi smile, shifting eyes as if to look at both your eyes back and forth as you're talking, a long stare, all will be with heavy eye contact.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Well first off, I'm not really into the jealousy games, it usually has more of a negative outcome then a positive one. The best type of jealousy is the type that is not created out of ill manner, but in fact the opposite, good intentions. Often when people are trying to make others jealous, it's very obvious to the other and can in fact decrease your value in their eyes.

Rather then focusing on trying to make a girl jealous and wanting to be with you, make her jealous of the time not being with you.

If this girl is currently in a social circle that you know of, be very friendly with everyone she knows, be flirtatious with her friends but in a friendly manner not a trying to pick up manner. Simply be a fun person that everyone wants to be around. If you do this well, her friends will start to add value to you and should draw her in. If she's like most women, completely competitive with her friends or foe's for attention of men. She'll come around and most likely seek your attention.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

I am 6 ft, I've had a few taller women, but in all honesty, not many. Height has never been a game changer, it surely can be a topic of discussion and can create some fun banter or different types of openers, but it doesn't change my fundamentals. After all, we're all basically the same height laying down

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

Hey sexaddict got a question for you...


A chick at a different college to me keeps on texting me EXTREMELY RANDOMLY like sometimes rapid replies (a few minutes later) and sometimes going to the opposite extreme by taking up to A WEEK! She has mentioned to me that her friends get pissed off with her slow replies and stuff and that she's rubbish as she's "pretty busy" but I can't tell whether this is BS or not, as personally most people have time to reply fairly soon in this day and age, although I get that some people are forgetful etc...

To make things confusing for me whenever she does text she is always really interested in what I'm doing and quite flirtatious and challenging (in a good way), asking a ton of questions, even asking me if I'm going out on particular nights - presumably to hook up as I asked her out a couple of times she said "yeah id love to! you free ___??" but either myself or her couldn't do it.

She's texted me again apologising about the delay (1 flipping week!) after a long break and double texted me asking if I was out but I haven't replied yet, not sure how to respond asi don't want to say "yeah that's fine blah blah blah"

Thoughts on this girl mate?

Thanks in advance

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To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle

Fake just Fake

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"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about Creating yourself." So what are you waiting for?

Hey bro sorry for the late reply, I haven't been around in awhile.

It would seem she is just reassuring herself of your interest. Once she's got her fill of assurance, she'll go away for awhile then come back again when she wants more. Without knowing the details of your conversation or knowing her I can't say for certain.

All you can do on your side is control the frame of the conversations. If you want to hang out with her and fuck her, make that the topic. If she texts you random shit, that's cool, answer polite then go right back on topic. Flirt with her, talk sexual, tell her you want to meet up. Do that enough and she'll get the point and only text you if its to flirt, talk sexual or hang out. Don't over do it, pick your spots, do it in a funny and charming way or just be direct. That will have to be gauged by you and how easy going she is.

Bottom line here is, if you keep a certain frame always you'll know exactly where she stands with her interest and sexual desire towards you. If you don't get the responses you want to here, start to freeze her out till you do. If she stops texting you, move on.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

No worries man thanks for the reply

Yeah mate you're spot on she texted me put of the blue after a few weeks of silence...I guess as you say for reassurance. It's awkward to organise a meet up SPAM as we both have exams so realistically it'd have to be after that so I can't see how I'd meet her before.

That frame you mention could you expand on that please as with her sporadic response pattern I don't like to be overly keen and ask many questions despite her load as she can just blank them by being shit slow at replying :p

So I often tell her how busy my social life's been, tease her and use subtle innuendos, talk about clubs etc to convey a fun vibe and keep the convo light. Getting it sexual I don't always see how to initiate from a polite question to get it back on track so could you help me on this please? Once it's there I'm fine at continuing its just I often struggle to go there without te worry of it sounding disjointed - like would this convey neediness or have I just got to go for it and be daring?

And lastly in response to your final paragraph yeah thanks I'm not afraid to freeze her out, i reply to her at the time but dont really care if she responds or not that much, I'm letting her do the chase and letting me the prize as after all that's what she wants - something worth fighting a bit for!

Appreciate your sound advice man, really do


Cheers

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To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle