i've been following the idea of letting girls chase you, punishing them with silence when they act up, and rewarding them slowly when they show interest... but in what I would describe as a one-itis afc MOMENT of my life I won the girl over that I lost.... and I don't understand why.

Let me explain... I took this girl out on a date, there was plenty of kino, but I wasn't able to really get too sexual. PRIOR to the date she would text me quite often/ call me even IF I tried to give her space....after the date things changed she'd reply and seem interested but a bit less so. Every time we talked/texted I would always stop the conversation when she showed mild interest/disinterest... like taking the whole day to reply to a text, or not carrying her part of the conversation on the phone, or just short answer texts. She'd still re-initiate when I never called/texted back. Conversations were becoming smaller overtime, until she stopped initiating me. So after a 4 day break from talking to her, I hit her up and she says she can't talk right now in class/so she texts me but it was decent interest level... so I ask her if she wants to hang out again (not those exact words obviously) and she takes a couple hours replies and asks "what do you want to do?" I suggested she should take me out since I took her out already... she never replies 6 hours later she's active on her social network and is online on her yahoo messenger, and I become kind of mad (i know afc) and I hit her up on her messenger saying "you never replied to my last text" (BAD i know!) she signed off.... so I delete her off the social network as a friend and I block her (lol yeah I KNOW!!))... then she signs back on, and says "sorry i was busy", and I ask her again to hang out tomorrow... and she smiles and says yeah I would love to see you again........ what happened there?

edit: I know what your thinking, this girl is toying with me, but I know for a fact she's not seeing ANY other guys, and she's a religious type so she's kind of into being a good person and not leading guys on.


What was going through her mind? Why would a girl respond to this?

I don't think anyone no matter how good they are can give you the answer you seek without it being a hypothesis that cannot be proven. She is a complex person just like yourself and this isn't a plain easy to read situation, it's complex too. MY GUESS though is that she realised you were fed up that things weren't going anywhere and that you felt like it was becoming a waste of your time so she realised you have self worth (which is incredibly attractive) won't put up with being toyed with, yet you are interested in her and that's why you were acting how you were. Honesty and true intentions are far more powerful and productive than any routine or set of lines. Although you may have "broken some rules" that even I frowned at, I admit I break many rules like that on a regular basis because I value myself and yet I am open enough to show my interest without playing games and girls love that I don't play games.

Good job, hope it keeps moving forward for you. I use the principles of punishment and reward, not with girls, but with PEOPLE. When someone does something bad it is a good thing to let them know you don't approve. When they do good it is great to let them know you appreciate what they've done (even if the good or bad things aren't directed at you yourself). This lets people know how you feel about them and makes them feel closer to you and open up more, as well as tend to do good things more often than bad. On the other hand, if this becomes a judgmental manner of behaving and they feel you are judging them and being "holier than thou" then you have pushed it too far and you probably want to tone it down a bit. Perhaps you were pushing it a bit too far earlier without giving her reason to feel like you had the kind of status to act the way you were and that's why your interactions began lacking, then once you displayed your feelings of self-worth she realised that you had the personal values that you were simply projecting outwards for others to see.

Truly I don't know, just some food for thought. There are at least a few dozen possibilities but that's the most likely one I can suggest.

~ Rye

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye