Systematic desensitization: What’s wrong with it?



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Get Into The Game: New Forum Members Start Here » PUA Lounge




Author Message
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:56 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:46 am
Posts: 359
I’ve read a few posts of some experience users who don’t like when guys say “I’ll start banging average chicks and work my way up.” (roughly paraphrasing what was said) What’s wrong with this? While I’m willing to admit that the individual who posted this comment himself as “less”, he found his own unique way of coping with women and working towards success. What is inherently wrong about having sex with women who are 5, 6, and 7s? I view the concentration of newer guys on getting “the hottest women” they can to be distracting and actually takes away from results. Correct me if I’m wrong. But I view it as much more productive for a guy to have sex with a woman first instead of worrying about how good she looks. That’s just my opinion though. What’s your opinion?


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:03 am 
Offline
Moderator

Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
Posts: 3276
should just be a no or a yes, if you have some ridiculous standard that you need a perfect girl, and in the meantime you can't even work up the courage to just talk to an average one, chances are you will not get that perfect girl for a long long long time (if ever)


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:41 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Dicklow I don't understand, you're topic is called Systematic Desensitazion...
SD about is putting yourself in a situation or
progressively exposing yourself or putting
yourself in a situation which frightens or
scares you...and gradually overtime
as you continue to expose yourself
to that fear and you realize that
nothing bad can happens to you
the fear will gradually be extinguished.

But from what I've read, you're just giving an example
about banging average chicks and intend on working
you're way up. You can bang as many average
chicks as you want but the more average
you bang the more average you'll get.
If you don't move up the beauty
ladder you'll stay put. If you
want to get over the fear,
if that's what your saying,
go and pickup the hottest chick you
want and fuck her. That to me would seem like
the better alternative yes?

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:34 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:46 am
Posts: 359
What I'm saying is that some guys view having sex with average women first and moving up to nice looking women last is the way to go. What is inherently wrong about a guy "moving up the ladder" as he goes? I view it as much more useful to have sex first then to worry about how good a woman looks. Having sex with one average woman is 1'000 times more valuable than having the numbers of 100 good looking women who are just for show. Actually having sex and talking to tons of nice looking women are two different things, and I think that most guys get stuck at the part of talking to nice looking women instead of actually engaging in the act of sex.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:03 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
True. But if you had the opportunity
to have a 3some with 2 amazing, beautiful girls and have wild and
amazing sex that will give you that deep inner confidence for future
interactions with other girls would you go for them...OR...would you
rather have a 3some with 2 average looking
girls that would give you an average night in bed?

It's cool but why sleep with an average? Wouldn't it be
better and more fulfilling to get to a point where you
can game a gorgeous women and have that experience
with her instead instead of a girl which you would
only find half attractive to? Don't substitute or
take 2nd best is what I say. If you want
high value women, you game value class women.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:21 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 5:53 pm
Posts: 2152
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Manswers taught me that superhot chicks are terrible in bed :P cuz they figure they don't need to do any work cuz they are hot.

I dunno why you needed that title, but the thing is that looks don't matter. Overall, gaming a ten is like gaming a six. In fact, and I know I'm not the only guy like this, the idea that hotter women need to be gamed differently is why I discarded the old 1-10 scale in favor of a binary system. Women, to me, come in two categories:

0: I wouldn't fuck her
1: I would fuck her

That's it. Again, we are basing this solely on looks, because guys tend to skew the system. We are talking about the raw, primal emotions that stir in you when she walks in the room. If you view all women you are attracted to as 1's, you wont' make this distinction.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:49 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Quote:
Manswers taught me that superhot chicks are terrible in bed cuz they figure they don't need to do any work cuz they are hot.
FUCK now that's gonna stick with me for the rest of my life pmpl!
I knew this post was gonna be trouble haha

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:25 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:46 am
Posts: 359
Quote:
True. But if you had the opportunity
to have a 3some with 2 amazing, beautiful girls and have wild and
amazing sex that will give you that deep inner confidence for future
interactions with other girls would you go for them...OR...would you
rather have a 3some with 2 average looking
girls that would give you an average night in bed?

It's cool but why sleep with an average? Wouldn't it be
better and more fulfilling to get to a point where you
can game a gorgeous women and have that experience
with her instead instead of a girl which you would
only find half attractive to? Don't substitute or
take 2nd best is what I say. If you want
high value women, you game value class women.
I'm not saying that having sex with "good" looking women is impossible; simply that it is a waste of time to focus on it when you haven't engaged in the act of sex yet. I find too many guys in the community worried about how good a woman looks. I agree with DJ_Z that it's either fuck or no fuck, and I find it a time consuming habit to worry how good a woman looks. And to be honest I find the practice embedded in ego. Again, getting your dick sucked by 10 fives is better than having the same from one “ten”. I guarantee.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:48 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Addict

Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:08 am
Posts: 222
Whats being described here is not systematic desensitization, which is gradually tolerating something that wasnt tolerable before.

Like when we watch the news, it doesnt phase us anymore when we hear some guy killed himself and all his family, it used to shock us, but we hear it everyday on the news and it kind of brushes right off us.

thats where it can be bad, or a hooker who starts off feeling squeamish about fucking anything but overtime and gradual exposure, she can fuck anybody for money with no moral hangups or no fear.

but this ability us humans have can be used for good too, we can expose ourself to approach anxiety and overtime it will become easy and second nature.

But this idea of starting off with average women, is not SD, it's taking whats available and working your way up. Like starting off as a mailroom worker and working your way up to CEO LOL

I think this can be useful because it can be easier to score with average looking women than hotties, and so u can practice not only sex but approaching and all the variables with seduction.

They used to reccommend dating women who u aint crazy about just to get used to going on dates, otherwise u will be waiting for the hottie and never get to practice interacting with women.

Not a bad strategy, but it's kind of shallow to think of the women this way, and what happens if u really like her? "u know honey, I first approached u cause i didnt think u were a challenge, but I really like u" LoL

But it can also be a bad thing, if u start fuckin average women, u might decide hey this is too much fun to stop, im not going to bother with the tens.

Nothings perfect in this world


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:12 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Exactly I knew from the beginning that this wasn't SD...
Dude, if you want to get your nob sucked by 10 fives is...
a little wierd, personally I find that 5's are pretty ugly or just
don't have any class. I'd rather get no action than have an
ugly chick suck me off and having to
resort to desperation. Not that I'm
saying your desperate, but last I
checked, the guy in the porno
looks like he's having more
fun with 5 hot lesbo's going
at it then 5 ugly girls trying
to make it happen. Just saying.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:19 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:46 am
Posts: 359
No I mean talking to and having sex with less attractive women over time to get used to or become less afraid of the concept of having sex with attractive women, which is systematic desensitization. Most guys aren't even comfortable with talking to women, why go through the extra burden of having to incur a perceived challenge? Why you can do the same thing with an average woman and get the same experience that'll prepare you in the future. If you don't want to call it SD fine, but what is inheritably wrong with a guy getting experience from an average woman before moving onto to a "socially perceived" attractive woman? I see guys floundering around worried about how attractive a woman is all the time and getting no results. Aren't some results better than no results?


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:59 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Quote:
Aren't some results better than no results?
For some people yes, and I'm gonna go a little off track here.

It also depends on which results you get.
Honestly, I have high standards when it comes to women and
most of the time it can be a pain cause a chick to me worth
approaching for example must have: A nice body, great
skin, decent fashion sense, a face to compliment the
eyes and the rest of herself.

That's just me unfortunately. When I go out to practice sure it takes
longer than normal to find a good girl to approach, I mean,
i'll admit I pass a few more girls than usual but there's a
good and bad part about it. On one hand, sure I can
approach a girl who doesn't meet all the standards,
but I just approach and eject just so I can say I
did an approach today...that doesn't really do it
for me. Then on other hand if i approach a
gorgeous girl, it makes it that much
better and worthwhile knowing I
talked to someone who has
some class for themselves. Going for
higher quality women gives me that extra
rush and sense of accomplishment cause it tells
me I also didn't half ass anything, most guys wouldn't
even dream of walking in the same direction as an HB!

I feel that if you approach high quality women it gives
you that extra edge and sense of accomplishment, all
though it may take a little longer than usual I can
atleast say at the end of it all I approach over
50 HB's as opposed to just less than or close
to average girls who most guys would hook
up with! :)

But put it into perspective, if
someone asked how many chicks you've
approached and you say,
I've approached 50 average girls...
They'd probably say "thats cool, nice..."

But if you were to say that you approached
50 amazing women, ones that made them shake in their
boots (you can even go into detail how the first
HB10 looked...perfect hair, amazing face, athletic
body, perfect ass...) they would immediately be more impressed
cause that is the picture of their dream girl! Immediately, your
social proof will sky rocket with your friends because you
are gaining more experience and interactions just by
engaging polite conversation with hot women.

But like I said it is preferece. If you want average women, you
approach average. If you want high class girls, you approach
high class girls. If you approach the ones with more
sex appeal and beauty you will get over any fears
WAY faster cause your dealing directly from the
source of where the fear originates.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:20 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 4:26 pm
Posts: 132
Yahoo Messenger: pagedusty@rocketmail.co.za
Location: Cape Town
I totaly get what you're saying dicklow,but.. If thats your goal ,laying as much women as possible doesnt matter how they look,aslong as you get laid,then i don't really think you're gettin the whole concept of pick up. It aint just about gettin laid bro,to me its about becoming a better version of yourself,becoming more socially aware having inner and outer confidence and being able to pick up any girl doesnt matter if shes a 10 or just a plain jane. Coz think about it if you screw an average girl,sure youre getting laid but i believe screwing an HB would do much more to your confidence. Now some results rather then no results? DUDE thats like settling!! Its like saying "if i cant have the best,the rest will do just fine" how alpha is that? And isnt being an alpha male the goal of pick up? For a newbie banging an average girl is normal but sooner or later you'll have to move up the ladder. Sure the HBs would be a harder challenge but what do you learn from an easy challenge? (screwing an average girl once in awhile wouldnt hurt though lol)

_________________
http://realsocialdynamics.com/


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:38 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 430
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Quote:
"if i cant have the best,the rest will do just fine" how alpha is that? And isnt being an alpha male the goal of pick up? For a newbie banging an average girl is normal but sooner or later you'll have to move up the ladder. Sure the HBs would be a harder challenge but what do you learn from an easy challenge?
Exactly. I have 2 rules that I live by: - Don't ever settle for 2nd best
- Desperation is never my destination

I'd rather not get any action from a girl which I don't find
attractive and resort to getting with her because that's
all I can get and accepting that that is all I can get.
No brother. That is NOT how I roll. My one mate,
he is one of the best dudes I know, but he
can't get any chicks and when he does
he always ends up with ugly chicks
which have no class and just
don't take care of themselves
and are just there at the bottom
of the bucket.

I made a strong choice to myself to never end up like that,
to just fuck a girl for the sake of it because I know I can't
to any better. I've seen countless guys in my time, go out,
hook up with a friend of a friend, make out with,
fuck and eventually think of marrying a girl because they
know, deep inside that they are not good enough and
they can't get better to be more then enough, because
that chick is a mirror image of them, it's like their
fucking themselves over because they cant
get better quality girls and no one can
help them get be better cause no
one taught them how!

I'd rather be a virgin till I'm 25 than have
my dick be inside an ugly and unattractive
chick. I'm an average guy sure, but that
does not mean I have to get average
women. Being alpha is not only
about getting good women,
it is about also getting
pre-selected by women and
abundance. Alpha's live their life
because they have abundance, and when
women can see you have this quality they will
throw themselves at you. This is called Pre-Selection.
When you are pre-selected by women there
will be no need to settle for average women
anymore because the best and high class
women will want you just for displaying
that quality. Women love a man
with confidence...

I'm digressing.

Anyway...i'm just saying, if you settle for plane jains, then
plane jains will become your reality.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:14 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:26 am
Posts: 435
Im different to what OP suggests.

I cant bring myself to sleep with girls that arent good looking. I have done it before and afterwards I feel physically sick and I just want them gone because I regret it so much.

that's just me. everyones different.

_________________
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 28 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link