*disclaimer, im not saying this will work for everyone in every situation, its simply something that helped me become the person i wanted to be so ill share it with you too*
Alright first off, FUCK ALPHA, i hate that term. I wasted way to long trying to be more alpha, at first i had small bits of what i felt was success but soon the high wore off and it felt forced.
what is being alpha? i find its much too vague and puts the wrong images in your head. personally when i think of alpha i think of three things, 1. being someone that likes fights and confrontations to prove his "manhood" 2. someone that feels the need to be the spot light of every encounter. 3. someone that is constantly one upping everyone's stories/jokes/accomplishments.
if your not naturally alpha, then forcing alpha mannerisms will be unnatural, and difficult if your not in the mood (ex your tired, hungry etc)
what i feel helped me a million times more than being alpha is simply being STRONG. what is being strong? the way i like to best explain it is simply:
-do whatever you feel like.
-say whatever you feel like saying
*********-YOU decide when your are right and wrong. NOBODY ELSE.**********
now the main problem with being alpha that arose for me is that as i got more success my confidence grew and grew and grew till i realized that i was doing things that I DIDNT EVEN RESPECT. i was on such a confidence high that i became someone that i didnt want to be, but so what i was getting pussy right? yes, but i felt like a clown.
of course this can happen if you adopt this STRONG mentality aswell but i came up with a way to keep myself in check. i simply ask myself:
********Am i not allowed to do that? or Am i not allowed to wear that? say that, like that, etc.**********
so i simply do whatever i feel like, i flirt ruthlessly with any girl in any situation, i wear whatever i feel, i do ANY small thing that i usually feel uncomfortable with then i ask myself. "Am i not allowed to enjoy playing video games, or Am i not allowed to be attracted to this girl and want to talk to her?" and if you ever find yourself answering NO to this question, then you know when to draw the line.
one example of riding the confidence high for to long is my clothing styles. on days when i had the mentallity of "i dont give a fuck" i would see two bright peices of clothes and put them on, then half way through the day i would realize i was wearing bright pink and bright green and be l wonder what i was thinking. now i just ask myself "am i not allowed to wear bright pink shirts with bright green shorts? no i dont respect that."
i had troubles with social anxiety and being natural almost all of my life, i was fucking TERRIFIED of dropping my books in school, why? i dunno. but now with every thing i feel uncomfortable with (or used to) i simply ask myself, AM I NOT ALLOWED TO ACCIDENTALLY DROP MY STUFF? and the answer is yes, i am.
now as far as actual conversation goes, the main reason i feel that girls became less attracted to me was because i became weak around them. i would put aside my own views to try and relate to a girl more, but what would a strong person do.
ill give two scenarios. a weak and a strong.
weak: *guy* yeah i just stayed home and played online poker all night.
*girl* oooh.... sounds kinda boring.
*guys weak answer* yeah my friends all bailed and i had nothing to so i figured id just kill time.
STRONG guy* yeah i just stayed home and played online poker all night.
*girl* oooh.... sounds kinda boring.
*guys STRONG answer* fuck no, it was a blast. i love online poker.
now which response is more fun, which makes her ask YOU questions, which answer keeps a girl on her toes?
YOU decide when you are right and when you are wrong. and you have to stick to your guns the whole time, never surrender your strength.
*girl* was that you who farted?
*weak answer* ughhhh no thats so gross though. (a little bit nervous)
*strong answer* OH YEAH!
*girl* ew thats gross.
*strong answer* what im not allowed to fart?
*girl* your weird
*Strong answer*.......... no im not. YOU are.
try and be strong in every situation your in, do whatever you feel, act however you want, wear whatever you want then ask yourself. "am i not allowed to.....?" to make sure that your still within your boundaries.
am i not allowed to smile at a cute girl on the bus? why yes, yes i am.
am i not allowed to flirt with a girl in front of her friends? yes i am.
am i not allowed to flirt with my friends girlfriend? no im not.
YOU DECIDE WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT AND WHEN YOUR WRONG AND YOU STICK TO YOUR DECISION NO MATTER WHAT. dont be argumentative, condescend or be a dick either, just dont give up your own ideas and morals to make others happy.
next ill talk quickly about strong body language.