Hey guys,

Just wanted to get your advice on something. So I've been on two great dates with this girl, the latter which I made us a nice dinner at my apt. Usually this would be easy to seal the deal since we're already back at my place. However, as I was moving for a f-close in my bedroom, she told me that she wanted to go slowly because it was complicated. I think she was hurt in her last relationship, which lasted 2 years.

I was a bit shocked bc I thought I would be able to close easily. Perhaps I need to build even more comfort? I was very smooth and escalated well using Dicarlo's escalation ladder. I know that's we're both into each other.

However, I'm liking this girl a lot (potential gf material) so I don't know what to do. I'm seeing her again this Friday so should I be a bit more aggressive and go for the f-close or not rush things? I'm used to hearing that the sooner u fuck a girl the better since you have more power. But I'm not sure right now bc I don't want to scare off this girl.

Any tips on this or maybe if you've dealt with this LMR before?

Thanks!
-Risen

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Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

1. You can't know a girl is "gf material" until you REALLY KNOW her. Like, after WEEKS or even MONTHS. If you start trying to reel her in, or get worried about losing her, you WILL, because you'll start acting needy.

2. Escalating on a girl is COMPLIMENT. Showing a girl that she turns you on will turn HER on. Do not EVER worry about escalating too quickly. She may well tell you to slow down or stop. Either way, just say ok, and then try again later. Make as much of a big deal out of it as if she'd asked you to turn the heating down a few degrees.

3. Play push-pull. That means get her in a mood to escalate, then do so for a BIT, then back off, leaving her wanting more. Then re-engage, escalate further, then back off. If you back off first, she'll WANT you to keep going. If she's always the one telling you to slow down, then it looks like you're pushing and pushing and want the sex much more than her.

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Thanks for the solid advice

_________________
Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

As a general rule of thumb, if you think you are going to have problems escalating, then go part of the way and then STOP her and end the date. Say you have to get up early tomorrow or something, but you really want to see her again.

Use the energy of the encounter to make her wanting the second encounter even more. In that time she will think about you and become much more open to going further because she realizes a) it's her choice and b) she appreciates the space, and c) she might lose you.

I'm not advocating to use this as a technique to manipulate her into going further with you, but basically, be aware that people often need space to decide they want something as much as you. And the best way to do that is to leave her with strong and good feelings.

Greg