| This is probably my favorite chapter from Paul Janka's "Attraction Formula" book. Its about pure inner game and the power that comes with it. Enjoy:
"The Idea of Discipline
This is the most important concept for the player to master. Without it, he’s a chump. Any master – Tiger Woods, George Soros, JFK, Derek Jeter – is defined by discipline. Discipline, restraint, terms, rules – call it what you want – it will save your ass and wallet more times than you know.
Few areas of your life will require a better understanding of discipline than in your relations with women. They are a sophisticated breed, inculcated from an early age with values that help them seek out a man of resources, exploit those resources for the nest, and have offspring. God Bless Them! It’s a problem, however in the dating scene, because you may want to sleep with a girl and not have a family with her. And why spend time and money you don’t have?
At its core, the “game” is really this dance – getting the milk without buying the cow. And you can enjoy a life of abundance – if you develop the discipline.
• The amount of fun sex you enjoy on your terms is directly proportional to your level of personal discipline.
First of all, know that women are in no hurry to sleep with you. The urgency is on our end because of opportunity cost (the other girls we’re not pursuing) and the burn rate of “entertaining” this woman. (Note: as you’ll see, if your entertaining involves spending money on women you haven’t yet slept with, you’ve got it backwards). In my experience, a woman will hang around a guy in whom she’s interested for quite a while as he executes courtship moves. This is fine if you plan on marrying this woman, but in the casual setting of modern-day dating, this is a case in which the man has lost control of the situation.
Never rely on the women to let you know when you’ve spent enough money, time, jokes, “social proof” or DHV, etc on her and that now it’s ok to initiate a physical relationship. She won’t do it.
The timing is your domain. Remember that: timing is your domain.
I mention this because it’s the key insight into exercising discipline. Perhaps the
biggest difference between a guy who gets “lucky” once in a blue moon and a real player is that the player owns the timeline of the date. When I approach women and deal with them everyday, I engage them on my own terms. Of course, some don’t like it. That’s the discipline.
Remember, the first time a woman doesn’t agree to your terms – they can be as simple as “Give me your number now, because I’m late and I’d love to see you later for a coffee,” and she balks – you’re actually making progress. Congratulations.
What exactly does discipline-in-action-look like? I don’t care how hot the girl is… Think about it... If a woman gets you to break on a small point and sees that weakness, you think she’s going to relent? Or respect you when you’ve jumped through all her hoops? I’ve found (and so have my other male friends who are successful with women) that a difficult woman never becomes easier. In other words, you’ll know after two minutes – usually after fifteen seconds – with what type of woman you’re dealing. Sticks-in-the-mud never become carefree, spirited women, in my experience.
The more experienced I’ve become with women the more women I’ve actually pissed off. Read some of the blogs on jezebel.com or gawker.com. But, my sexual success with women during this period has actually soared. It’s like the fox that sneaks into the hen house. They’re all squawking and fluttering about but I’ve never eaten so well." --Paul Janka
_________________
Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think
|
CHAT