Gonna try to keep this one short.

Most people have issues, most people wanna work on them but most people do it the wrong way.

Imagine a relationship... She says that you arent telling her that you love her enough... You solve it by telling her that you love her more often. 2 weeks later you break up... Why?

She is not self aware enough to know what the real problem is. And you arent good enough to see it.

This doesnt have to be a relationship, it could be yourself. Your inner game. Lets say that you have problems with your bodylanguage when talking to a girl. Lets say you move your hands around too much. You solve it by putting your hands in your pockets.

Both examples solves the problem... Kinda. But after a while you are gonna have a different problem caused by the same thing. Maybe you start blinking too much or whatever, channeling your fear by using another kind of bodylanguage.

But do these solutions make you grow? No they dont. You still suck at it.

Dig deeper. Find out what the real issue is. The relationship example seems to be that the girl is insecure about your feelings and need reassurance. She tries to get that idea into your head but just obeying stuff coming from her is not gonna work. The bodylanguage example shows that you are nervous about talking to girls. And yeah, it hurts to dig deeper.

I just wanna say, if you want to get rid of a problem, you cannot just use the quickfix. You cannot just change your behaviour to hide tha real issue. Sit down, think, identify, accept, decide and deal with it.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

As far as I know, all schools of thought in Body Language say that putting your hands inside the pocket shows that you are trying to hide something or may be telling a lie. Please clarify.

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You miss 100% of the sets you don't open.
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It helps to turn this into a writing exercise.

Check out Toyota's "Why's":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys

Just skimmed that and will return to it in about an hours time.

Looks brilliant!

that was good shit Kasabi

Ezo is something that needs to be done but maybe their should be a disclaimer on doing this, Going down to a root cause can unravel a lot of shit and mess a person up for a while. Should say warning:May cause extreme identity, emotional, mental problems and must be treated once found or problems will persist and may worsen.

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Inner game is the core, outer game is just an expression of it

Disclaimer:

Prolonged exposure may cause selfimprovement and success...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

It was just an example... Better to keep them in your pockets than waving them around anyways but as I said... Just an example that is not what the post was about.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Great post Ezo.. as always.

Its like fixing a broken window with plastic and tape. It covers up the problem but the problem is still there.

Fixing the problem vs. Covering up the problem.

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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

Ok I think I wrote this somewhere but I cannot remember where.

Identify: Identify what is holding you back, figure out a specific problem or rather the cause of your problems. In my case it has been mental limitations that I have set up for myself in my childhood. I identified them (still doing) and tried to find the underlying reason for it.

Accept: You gotta accept that you have a problem. Otherwise you are just gonna find excuses to not expose yourself to the pain it takes to face them. Accept that you are not a worse man for admitting that you are not perfect. You have the issue whether you accept it or not so you might as well. Better to be an enlightened loser than just a loser...

Decide: You gotta decide to change. You gotta make a decision. Is fixing this problem more important to you than it is to stay in your comfortzone? If yes, you are gonna change. If no, you might as well give up. My realization is that the worst thing that can ever happen to me is that I will grow old without ever growing out of being a complete loser. And if I dont fix my problems, I will leave this world as pathetic and weak as I am now. That cannot be allowed to happen. So I dont have a choice, I gotta fix the problem.

Deal with it: Face your fear. You have already decided that you would rather face your fear than stay in your comfortzone. Now prove it. Go out there, expose yourself to the situation in which you suck. Practice practice practice until you get it right. And then practice some more. It is gonna be painful it is gonna be humiliating and it is gonna be difficult. Everything that is worth something is difficult! Deal with it. it is worth it.

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn