Yeah, I know its a song by Lady Gagball...

So I was reading some stuff here concerning how to treat a girlfriend... It scared me. People actually try to treat their partners as they would treat a target iduring the initial pickup. Not cool.

So I am gonna try to straighten the concepts out a bit here.


Romance is good.

Read that again.

Still scared? Well here we go.

So most PUA wannabes will say that nooo romance is bad, buying flowers and shit, thats the way a loser behaves. And yes, that IS the way a loser behaves. But not only losers.

In fact, this is the kinda behaviour that has its time and place. Losers just dont know when and where. The same goes for many PUAs.

The problem is calibration.

AFCs overdo the romantic stuff and PUAs underdo it.

What is romance? Being romantic is basically a positive emotional reinforcement, a way to enhance or build a connection. A way for two people to meet and build something together.

Something needs to be done before doing that... Calibration.
You gotta know that she has the same level of committment as you do. You gotta feel that she is ready for it. Basically you need to listen to her, read her signals and understand how much she is willing to connect with you.

That goes in both directions. Either she wants it less than you or she wants it more than you. On occasion it will be equally much.

The second part to remember is that it takes two to tango. You cannot be romantic on your own, and neither can she.


What AFCs do wrong is that they think that romance can build something that is not there. A guy who buys flowers and drinks and organizes walks down a beach in the sunset for a girl who doesnt want to have a deeper connection with him is not romantic. He is desperate. A romantic setting only works if she is gonna be ready to connect. Either you trust your game enough to make her like you that much while you are still in that setting or you know that she is ready for it and you just give her the possibility to connect.

What PUAs do wrong (not all but the stereotypical Mystery clones) is that they would never do anything romantic, ever. Because they are so scared of being AFC. Nooo, thats something an AFC does. Thats lame... Im too manly to buy flowers, and shit like that. Im gonna win this frame war, Im gonna beat the shit test.
Im talking about PUAs in a relationship mainly.
When a girl has choosen you, she will most likely build a connection with you. She waits for you to extend your emotional hand and take hers. In order to build something together. If you dont want anything more to do with her, by all means, dont reach out. but if you like her and wanna connect for real. Take this chance. Be romantic. Romance is to share something.
See, PUAs dont think this through. It doesnt matter if it is AFC or not. It wont be AFC if you do it right. You are not doing it out of desperation, you are doing it to build a stronger emotional connection. She wanna feel that your level of committment can match hers. Otherwise she is just wasting her time.

Another thing that people misunderstand is that its not like there are romantic people and unromantic people who are romantic all the time or not at all. You have to pick the moment. Nobody likes constant romance, thats not it. But everybody wants it sometimes. Even YOU!

Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I don't think it would be wrong to say that most people that come on this site has intimacy issues in the first place.


Good thread.

I agree, thats why we are here in the first place... Ill buy you a milk sometime!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I'd like to point out that the idea of being romantic to "get" the girl isn't the only pitfall, but also feeling you have to do it to "keep" the girl can come off wrong as well. The only right reason is because you want to.

Like.

I was reading Sex God Method, and that really highlights this... he talks about having emotion in your relationship, and guys who can't open up emotionally will suck in bed. If you can't be romantic on occasion, you will probably suck in bed.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

No that is exactly what I am talking about, of course you have to do it in order to keep the girl.

The only "right" reason... Right according to who? Mystery? Some selfproclaimed alpha macho man? No dude, this is the real world... A man who cannot make a woman feel loved and feel like a woman is not a real man.

If you need to act macho just in order to show how manly you are, then you arent manly enough.

What do you have to do to keep the girl? Make her feel like she is better off with you than without you. And women have a need for romance because that creates a feeling of connection as well as an actual connection. So, you have to provide that. Therefore, we have romance.

Of course you could argue that you dont have to keep the woman, only if you want to... That I can agree with you on.

There are too many macho misconceptions in the PUA world. Dont forget, when that girl comes along that makes it worth to retire from the game, you gotta forget all of that and remember than in addition to being a player, you are also a human being.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

That's what I was getting at. Do it because this is the girl for you, not because "you've had your fun and it's getting time to settle down" or "you're getting too old for this shit" or "you're losing it".

Then we seem to agree...

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn