This will not apply to all of you. But for those of you who it is relevant to, you will thank me I assure you.

It's been fucking months since I last posted on the site. Ages ago. I had an appiffiny today however (no over exaggeration), which made me think about how I look at relationships over-all.

It's considered alpha, to be able to walk away from a relationship not giving a fuck. Fair enough. The problem is, it doesn't matter how strong minded you are - if you have acted in the relationship in a way which makes you dependent on the girl, then your going to be hurt. Period. This post is therefore dedicated to reducing such pain in relationships, in a way that doesn't make you a dick.

Pretty much all of my serious relationships, have been fueled by me raising my value to be seen as extra attractive under false pretences. What I mean by this is that I would tell outwright bullshit in attempt to be seen as attractive and valuable. Hell, it worked. They weren't lies which affected the relationship in a major way, but lies which said something about my value, which wasn't true. I was seen as more attractive.

I've studied the psychology of lying for a while now, and I've learnt how to do it, extremely well. I have learnt that the best lies are the ones which are based on genuine events, with a twist. So I told lies which transformed from truths, such as from getting drunk on a roundabout with my best friend, to hosting a huge roundabout party.

Right now I'm seeming a bit of a cunt I'm sure, and I can't blame you for thinking it; what kind of a retard would tell lies like that, and fundementally ruin a potentially beautiful relationship - without reason?

I won't go into depths, but those of you who know me and have read my posts last year will know that I went through a particularily nasty breakup, which led to all kinds of psychological problems trusting women. Therefore my approach for relationships with women was to lie from the start - if I base the relationship on a lie, and on an identity which does not reflect who I am, then surely when things get nasty and I finish the relationship I won't be hurt, because the girl doesn't even know the real me. Also, not to invest half as much, not to wank over the girl (once you come through masterbation your brain activates neurochemicals which attach you to the girl you wanked over) and not to turn to her with problems, which ensures lack of emotional dependence.

What I did NOT consider however, is that these lies of value featured an emotional significance, in which I wished the lies to be true. In other words, the lies I told created an illusionary world of value, which could be brought to life when with the girl. I felt like I was extremely valuable. This resulted in me becoming attached to this identity, and thus attached to the girl which the identity depended on. An illusion is never as good as the real thing, because at some point your gonna wake up.

When the girl went out clubbing for example, I became somewhat depressed out of paranoia, but mainly the fact that she was out enjoying herself in a world which actually existed. It crashed me back down to earth and made me realise what a false little bubble I was existing in. It's not that I'm not a cool guy, I love my friends and I have no problem in saying my game is confidently at PUA level. I just became obsessed with value, and wouldn't stop at anything to remain unhurt, and rocket my value even higher.

My past experiences just caused me to try and hide who I am in attempt to remain unhurt, ironically hurting me more. I became a compulsive liar to females, and found myself lying to not only targets, but all girls, elderly women, even my own mother.

No more! It's fine telling a fib to a target for value reasons, but when this behaviour becomes habitual, its scary how dependent you can become, and how much more clingy you can become out of desperation to hold onto this illusion. Therefore I conclude to you, the best way to remain unclingy in a relationship -

Do not habitually create lies of value to women
Do not wank over the woman - wank over several - or use porn
At no point invest more than she has
Do not repeatedly turn to the same woman to resolve your issues - this saves the problem of becoming emotionally dependent. Instead turn to friends, family, or several women.

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V1V

Proud of you man, its a first step, but still proud!

I think a lot of people take the "It's not lying, it's flirting," concept a lot too far. Lying has it's place in pick-up, certainly, and there's an art to it. Telling the truth whole truth constantly would make interactions completely unbearable.
But when you enter into a relationship, the lying has to stop. Like, completely. There needs to be a moment when everyone who is involved in the relationship gets to sit down and talk about what you're expecting from it. There needs to be disclosure in relationships for there to be trust. There needs to be open, honest communication for the relationship to actually work, because if you're not communicating effectively, the drama starts. As long as everyone gets onto the same page, and stays there, things go a lot more smoothly.

Sometimes that means you lose a girl, because she isn't willing to sit down and talk to you about expectations, or she is, but she isn't willing to adhere to your expectations. That's fine. The field of my dating is much more narrow because I'm polyamorous (ironic, yes?). If a woman isn't willing to do the poly thing, I lose her. Most of the girls I talk to are willing to give it a shot, though, and I wouldn't know that without disclosure, without openly stating my intentions with the relationship.

And your lying skills can actually be quite beneficial in that regard; a well-crafted lie is something that takes the truth and bends it. Open, honest communication requires that you find ways to say things that may be uncomfortable in a way that doesn't set off alarm-bells in girls' heads, and knowing how to twist the truth into "the truth but more comfortable" is a powerful relationship management tool.

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Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

While I do think one should be truthful in a relationship. Being 100% truthful all the time can be a bad thing. There is a reason white lies where created. As sometimes its better to tell a small lie than to tell the truth as it may just save the relationship or skip any problems from telling the truth.

Monkey and jurupa. Totally agree, but no relationship or even sex can commence without deceit to some degree. its human nature to lie, and nothing can replace that.

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V1V