The following was in response to a question someone asked me...
I think a lot of my confidence to express my sexual side comes from my confidence I have that I can 'get away with it'. My confidence of that comes from always pushing boundaries to see what I could get away with since I was but a lickle bwoy. So I've always been quite suave at saying things that are slightly daring/risky but getting away with it. Saying this, it also helps a large amount that it 'matches' my personality, it is totally in character for me to be cheeky/charming/wind up, so although the words may cause bit of a shock, it isn't out of character.
I'm also comfortable(ish
) with the risk of it not being taken well. I don't feel it can go 'wrong' in the sense that it makes clear your sexualness and possible intent.
Chicks fire up an animal desire in me, like a savage hunger, and since I've been working a lot on being able to express myself freely with an uninhibited boldness, I've found it's a lot easier to express any kinda of desires/thoughts/feelings including sexual ones. Feels very liberating to do so.
I think it's also about learning how to adjust the levels and balance with each chick. What I mean by this is, how full on, or how light, how direct, or how ambiguous the way you sexualise things are.
While this is about expressing yourself freely, one must remember to take into consideration other factors. For example, you may want to drive a car incredibly fast, but if there are too many obstacles, too much traffic, or sharp turns in front of you, you will have to go as fast as you want, but without crashing.
Personally when I'm 'playing it safe' to check what would be the right mix or levels, I will usually wait for an oppurtunity to deliberately take something wrong by playing on the words to make it sexual, I can say it in a cheeky way, in a slightly ambiguous way, or tongue in cheek. From the girls reaction it becomes a lot clearer how full on you can be.
A medium risk thing could be to use what for now I'll call 'sexual qualification(woop woop
coining terms bitch
). By this I mean approving them of their apparent sexualness. For example, if she does something and you tell her how she has a very sexy way of doing it. Or saying something she does looks very sexual or hot or whatever etc etc. It is veryyy useful because it lets her know you see her as a sexual creature, and it will tremendously aid in making her feel comfortable being sexual around you without being judged. (This is very important).
Something more 'full on' would be talking about the both of you doing something sexual together/with eachother. (I had once been a bit unsure about a girl who played along with my sexual stuff, she was very hot, had a dude, and a lot of our stuff seemed a bit more playful as opposed to intent, however, my view of that changed a lot once she started sending me tonnes of photos and of her lady parts
)
I think a big key to this all though, is subtlety or rather smoothness. The whole thing will likely not feel smooth due to the 'awkwardness' and tension, which is why it's even more important for it to be smoothish. I think this is part of what helps differentiate between suave sexualness and horny teenager perving.
Love
☯
~Finesse
CHAT