Lessons from Last Night

With this thread, I am introducing what will be an ongoing series of posts about, as the title suggests, "lessons from last night."  Sometimes the posts will address lessons I've newly learned from my latest date or session in the field; sometimes they will address points that I -- and maybe many of you -- have a tendency to forget.

I hope this series will be helpful.


LfLN Installment #1

lesson learned: be persistent in pivoting
My date showed up in a lousy mood, after a rough day at school and in her job. She was complaining a lot and had a negative outlook. I acknowledged what she said each time and then tried to pivot to something more positive. She kept returning to negative thoughts, and I kept acknowledging and pivoting. (Until recently, I would have let her negativity affect me, and I probably would have written off the evening as a lost cause.) And my persistence paid off. Eventually I was able to sway her into a positive mindset, and the date ended up being a hell of a lot of fun.

lesson learned: the power of squinting
I'm now realizing the a-bomb potency of a squint coupled with a little head movement (tilt the head slightly, and angle it a bit to the side) and an occasional sly smirk. This combination subcommunicates sexuality in a subtle but very strong way.


Until next time...

Peace,
Ciornia

LfLN Installment #2

lesson learned: keep a flexible mindset about your itinerary
When I go out -- be it for day game, night game, or just running errands -- I often get an idea in my mind about where I'm heading and in what order. And sometimes I forget to keep myself open to seeing possibilities that come my way, particularly if I'm in a rush to get somewhere. But last night was not one of those times. I was walking on the street, on my way to meet a wingman of mine, and I came up to a gorgeous girl waiting for the light to change. I started talking to her, and we crossed the street. She was heading in a direction different from the one I was intending to head in, but I just kept walking with her (never letting on, of course, that I'd changed my route to keep talking). I converted the situation into an insta-date at a nearby bar and, after a few minutes, went to "wash my hands" and text my buddy I'd be a little late and to get started without me.

So be ready at any moment for a hot girl to cross your path. And be ready to adapt -- be mentally flexible enough to alter whatever plan you had in mind -- in order to talk to her. Maybe you'll walk a couple of blocks or ride an extra train stop "out of your way." But you never know; those extra couple of blocks or stops might lead to a 24-hour sex romp If not, they'll likely lead to a number-close or even an insta-date. And you can always get "back on track" to your original itinerary after your little detour. For most things -- even appointments you're headed to -- an extra five or ten minutes of transit time won't matter.

LfLN Installment #3

lesson learned: picture what you want, stick to that image, and the universe will help it emerge in your life
Thoughts have energy. Think something, and you are giving form to that idea and putting it out in the universe. Make the picture in your mind clear and specific; keep sight of it; and try to clear your mind of competing or conflicting pictures that could blunt each individual image's force. Of course, it's not enough to create the picture. You have to act wisely, too. This post is not about what you might say or do to get that hot girl into your bed. There's plenty of material on that elsewhere. And I'm not at all suggesting you can have any and every girl. But right thought coupled with right action will yield great results. And the universe will lend an invisible hand in giving worldly form to your thoughts -- in creating external manifestations of your internal desires.

I love "lesson learned from last night" threads.

I have many of them on my personal forum.

This is cool, I scan-read the last one and seemed a bit wishy washy. Maybe keep it based on experience or more pragmatic? Then I think it'd be really useful.

Thanks for the love, Rafiel -- glad you’re digging this thread. Btw, where can I find your personal forum? I’d really like to read your stuff.

About Installment #3, I totally agree with you that it’s much more useful to give specific examples that bolster a concept. But I think your description of #3 as wishy-washy seems a bit harsh -- particularly since you only skimmed it That post was theoretical, and so the idea is much more difficult to substantiate -- sort of like proving the existence of God. To me, visualization is an extremely important element of life in general and pickup in particular. But, by nature, it has to remain unproven -- something that you either identify with or you don’t.

LfLN Installment #4

lesson learned: slow yourself down
Yesterday during day game (not every one of these lessons will be learned at night ), I was talking to this beautiful girl, and, for whatever reason -- maybe because I was imagining how tasty she’d be, maybe because of World Cup fever -- my adrenaline was particularly pumping. And so I found myself reacting with hair-trigger speed to everything. I needed to slow things down, so I reimplemented something I’d come up with awhile back.
If you're like me, the times when you get in trouble are when you react too quickly in set, be it to a shit test or a dicey comment or a potentially uncomfortable situation. So I created a rule that helps me -- and I hope will help you, too. Yes, yes -- I know ... rules suck; they're meant to be broken. Agreed. So take this somewhat metaphorically, not completely literally.
The One-Second Rule
You've all probably heard of the Three-Second Rule for overcoming approach anxiety: wait no more than three seconds before opening a girl. Its main purpose is to keep the fear-mongering portion of your brain from finding excuses not to talk to that girl; that is, it's a rule designed to hurry things along, so that your brain doesn’t trip you up. Well, the One-Second Rule is sort of the opposite; it's designed to slow things down, but for the same general purpose: so that your brain doesn’t trip you up. So, when a girl gives you a shit test or a possibly uncomfortable situation arises, catch yourself from reacting right away. Pause for a second before responding. You’ll not only present a stronger, more controlled frame in terms of pacing, you’ll also give yourself an extra moment to identify the meta-issue behind what’s been presented to you. That split second can make the difference between giving a hasty, thoughtless answer and further establishing that you have a solid, unflappable frame.

Good stuff Ciornia. Enjoyable to read, keep them coming!

Niko: Thanks, man. I'll definitely continue to roll out the lessons

Aaron: cool -- glad you're vibing with me on the concept of visualization It actually was for me a "lesson from last night," but the surrounding details were irrelevant -- and wouldn't have served anyway to offer proof of the point.

P.S. Carl Jung wrote of collective unconscious as a way of explaining how certain images and ideas could sprout in different groups that had had no contact.

What exactly is pivoting? Trying to change her mood by throwing in positive comments?

Yeah, you've got the idea.
Always begin by acknowledging what she's just said. (She'll feel a greater connection to you when you display the ability to listen, match her emotional vibe, and show empathy.) So if she complains, "I'm getting crushed lately by my workload," you reply with some variant of "Aw, that sucks. I know what you mean."

Then try to shift her to an image (and mood) that's more positive. You could go with something rudimentary, like "Things will get better," but that sort of cliché response usually rings hollow. A better way to go would be with an observation or story, like "I was in that situation recently, but it was totally worth it in the end; I got rewarded with [an A in the class, or a raise/promotion from my boss]." Or you could go with a question that will help her to visualize something pleasant, like "What fun stuff are you looking forward to doing once things settle down?"

All good man . Yep. My personal forum is at www.apostlesofpickup.com but it's not open to outsiders unfortunately. The personal info is also outdated.

You're right, I think it was a bit harsh. Looking forward to reading more of your experiences.

I think visualization is a great technique so good work on that.

All the best,

x