her: "I'm ugly/fat/noone likes me"

guy: BUT YOU'RE NOT (place other attempts at convincing here)

What is happening there?

girl starts with a negative thread. The guy feels inclined to convince her otherwise.
ooooooh, validation. She likes it. And the guy is trapped. He's just a normal bloke and like other blokes he wants to make her feel good, so much for that.

her believe about being whatever fat/ugly/not likeable are so deeply rooted that she will bring it up with every guy. She needs the validation.

How to snap her out of it:

"that's okay"

Progress with other subject.


You're not being judgemental about it.
The biggest thing people desire is being seen for who they really are. It's bigger than being looked up to.


Knowing this will help tremendously, since every women at some point will say something like that. And you're okay with it.

Besides, If a girl really wanted help she'd have visited a shrink instead of a random stranger.

Nice post, dealing with a womans insecurities is often something that nees to be addressed.

I've gone wrong here recently. Everyone can take note of this.

Thanks Jav.

Damn it, thats all i got all night.

Girl A HB 8 was 37 and wanted validation from my young friend for that.
i'M 37 YOU KNOW..... Again and again.
Girl B HB 9 Kept getting all the coolest guys to dance with her and then blew them of one after another.
I was DHV of the chart. I kept ignoring her and her 2 mates, danced well with other girls until the HB 9 got so annoyed by my lack of interest in anybody except her little group that she got the biggest body builder guy and slow danced right under my nose with this tool.
Her friend girl C then could'nt handle this and got his mate and then she danced right in front of me deliberately making sure her arse was on my piece.
About 5 minutes with about 7 proximity allerts that i can't be bothered to open, the HB 9 and her mate decide to open me.
I now can't win by dancing as i validate either of them, i need to do something different, my voice has had it and i decide to blow her off.

Lesson learnt that night.

I think the HB 9 was a regular at this club i went due to what one of my group said to me about her.
And she totally struck me that social value was the only thing she cared for.
Her social need was getting guys to dance with her and then dumping them.

Jav

I have only been hitting the clubs recently with a cool bunch of younger guys and girls as i am a DAY GAME or DAY WALKER.
Or maybe its me getting older.

But it seems you are right about this.

And last week this girl comes up to me and go me to kiss her on the cheek.
I lost that one.

F..k it.

_________________
Its getting Hot out there.

Its all to easy.

I want to be a tree!

Nice post Jav.

I particularly wanted to highlight this:
(I would add - and being appreciated for it), though I totally agree with you. I was also thinking of a lot of guys here, particularly the amog types. Often the loud or narcissistic alpha types that can be difficult to dominate or befriend. Understanding them for who they really are really helps, and they really appreciate it too.

I think TD mentioned something like this in the blueprint decoded. To paraphrase, when you drop your facade, she can drop her facade, and it's like a "breath of fresh air"...it really is...

I sometimes DLV myself quite strongly in set and this is one of the reasons.

She is seeking validation and the best way to deal with it is to treat it like you didnt notice and wouldnt care if you did...

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Is this really true?
I mean.. being seen for who you really are?
If you take a good look at ANY person they arnt so special.

A classic line for building inner game is: Be your best self.
Arnt we talking about making people feel as IF we see them?
You know.. asking them things, giving compliments on their personality, hobbies, sense of humor etc to raise their value ( and then they fuck us cause they are greatfull..)

It sounds a bit harsch, but all we are doing is making women feel
like: Their best self.

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

A very key point to be made, this is why I personally find techniques to be flawed - they aim to meet the majority and not the individual.

Deep down ask yourself, what do you want a girl to like you for....
Is it that she thinks your the hottest guy ever when it probably isn't true? no.
Is it that she thinks your the smartest guy ever when that also isn't true? no.
Is it some little thing that she would have taken a while to notice? It is for me.

So if you feel like that, why should she feel any differently?

Good post Jav!

That's because, to you they aren't so special. However, I bet THEY think they are special.
Once you work out why somebody thinks they are special and tell them you like it, they will feel like you like them for who they really are.

And you'll make her really feel that be by appreciating what she has deeply rooted within her, not the superficial stuff that guys constantly try to convince are important. She doesn't believe that. what she will believe are deep rooted stuff like personality.


@rafiel,

I've been getting deeper into the "dismanteling" lately. And yeah, it just feels really good. For her aswell.

Ugly: Yeah I know, you suck, that's why I want to < any sexually linked action >...

Fat: the more of you to kiss all over... (make it obvious that you were deliberately being a bit cheesey... else you'll look lame)

No like: That's 'cuase you're a damn sexy bitch who's stole my attention from everyone!





The reason these work, even though looking playfully lame(which they purposefully are)... is because you take her negative feelings and turn them into something that makes her laugh. Also, the slightly silly responses, show her that you see what she's saying as something silly. If you respond in a serious manner of any kind, it makes what she said serious, which ISN'T a good thing in such situation.

This QUICKLY turns around her feeling all down about herself and self pittying into happy/positive emotions... once this has happened a few times, they associate you with feeling good. You make them feel good.

The reason I give each a sexually linked response, is because 1) I'm presuming you want to get with these girls and show them a good time, so it escalates things in that direction. 2) Because each of these problems come down to feeling desirable in some way or another.




Just my input.


Love, and kisses all over
---
~Finesse

_________________
Munroe: "I kinoed the hell out of that goat"
Jav: "bashing chodes 24/7 ftw"
Slywalker: "Neg the bagel"
Slywalker: "I had a 1yr old GF when I was 19"
SS_Trunks:I asked her for an extra pen, confidently....

It's the same as the "that's okay"

Aslong as you're not the guy trying to convince her that she's the opposite of what she's saying to be anything works.


Good stuff Finesse