There are a lot of questions out there about should I say this or is it AFC, can I do this, is it ok to... etc etc.

You have probably heard that it is not what you say but how you say it a million times. Pretty useless comment right?
It is true but you cant really use it because you dont know what the right way is yet.

So, I will try to explain all of those rules that you ask about. In one go.

Assuming that we have gone through attraction... Almost all of the rules are there for one reason, to not freak her out and scare her away.

And why is that?

Because we guys go for what we want, unless we are scared little boys who wait too long. You can also benefit from this post btw.

We build attraction and think, hey its sausage time! Lets go lets go lets go!!!!! And then we think, hmmm, a girl who likes me, when did that happen last??? Better keep her around. Her value just skyrocketed! So we do everything in our power to keep her happy.

This works if she wants to have a family and fuck every day right NOW!!!! And if she is sure that YOU are the prince in ridiculusly peacocked armour!

Reality check, how often do you think this happens? Not very often right?

What normally happens is, ok I dont like this guy.

Sometimes it is like this: Hey I like this guy, I wanna see more of him.

Thats all fine. But it doesnt mean that she:

A) Wanna fuck you
B) Want a relationship
C) Wanna see you all the time
D) Wanna have you breathing down her neck

Until she is totally sure that YOU are the man for her you have to cool it.

She sets the pace. You have heard a girl saying hey it happened so fast none of us knew what happened. Thats not really true. She made a subconscious decision to get to know you better. If you would have pushed it, she would have ran for it. She wanted it to go fast, because you were good enough to make that decision.

If you go slower than her pace, you are boring, scared and weak.

If you go faster than her pace you are annoying, invading and hard to get rid of.

Remember that you are bigger and stronger than her, she has no chance if you decide to take advantage of her. This is one of the reasons that she keeps you away until she has decided.
If you go too fast, she will feel uncomfortable because you invade her life. You go from welcome to not welcome. You were not the guy she thought you were. You were an attacker.

Sure you might have been everything she wanted but all of that went down the drain when you started being needy, pushy and didnt give her enough space. Then you just became annoying and stupid.

So almost all rules, like LMR and stuff are there for one reason. To help you keep her pace. To prevent you from being the one who pushes her beyond what she is ready for.

One way to avoid it is to learn to calibrate, if you understand her (not so difficult) you can stop caring about all of these rules and go for what feels right.

Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I'm actually kind of curious what you mean by calibrate?

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"...so it goes"

too add to what Patrick is asking, HOW are you supposed to calibrate ?

By "calibrate", Ezo is referring to basically using your past experience and understanding of psychology/game/etc, in order to fine tune your behaviours in order to achieve the greatest effect.

If you crack a witty joke that goes right over her head and she is left staring back at you blankly, then you need to recalibrate your humor so that you are connecting with her better. There are a million examples that you can use, ranging from her reactions to the smallest of things like how you smile, up to bigger things like your entire style of game. Calibration is merely realising that what you are doing isn't QUITE working and so you need to adjust it in order to succeed.

Now the problem that most new guys have when they hear about calibration is that they don't have any experience to rely upon in order to determine how to go about calibrating, or even how to tell what really works well or not. This is where the going out lots, talking to tons of different people and trying various different things in order to discover what works and what doesn't. One of the things that I have always tried to help people to realise, is that you CAN learn far more from your mistakes than you ever will from your successes, if you allow yourself not to see them as failures, but rather as lessons in life.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Rye Lee

I well thought out answer.

A good example.

You will need to experiment with new material,openers and dress style
This can be from a simple thing like a haircut.
Think about it.
Get opinions from people on what style would suit your face.
Maybe a different style, may bring differnent reactions.
Appearance is important and by a few tweaks here and there you will improve.

But it takes time, no easy fixes here.
And have fun and laugh when it goes tits up with women.
but LEARN from it.
Then you will be able to start calibrating your style etc.

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Its getting Hot out there.

Its all to easy.

I want to be a tree!