Ok i thought i would write this as this has and stil seems to be my main problem around women.

i am currently in text/fb game with 3 women. i have met all 3 of them and have known them for at least a few months.

my game is pretty good with these women. one girl i am texting is now biting at my heels to sleep with me. one girl has pronounced her undying love for me (bit weird and have had to back off a bit from this one). and one i slept with a few years ago and im really having to go into overdrive with my game. very tough cokie to crack.

now all these girls are between HB6 and HB7 and i would not consider having a relationship with any of them.

now i have known a woman for a little while now. she is in looks a 7.5 at least. redhead. also she is quite successful and has a very professional job.

I have made arrangements to meet her for coffee tomorrow to talk about a job interview i am going for as she used to do this role and i have never done anything like this.

she has also made a suggestion that i go to hers and fix her bike. at some point.

now she does not show her emotions and i have great difficulty in reading her. ie i honestly dont know if she likes me or not. i have known her a few months through a friend.

my problem is that even though iv got 3 other women who are into me in one way or another i am still absolutly shit scared of tomorrow. i feel like im not good enough for her. why would she ever be interested in me. what if i sleep with her and she does not rate me in bed. etc etc etc.

now this has always been my problem. im pretty natural with girls that show interest in me first and that i dont consider out of my league. my main problem is that most of the girls that im "good" at game with naturally i do not want in a long term relationship.

i have no idea what im asking here and i spend a lt of time trying to work on my inner game. im in AA and have been for years.

Hank you say you belive certain women are out of you league(i.e they have a much higher value than you), it is great that you are adressing this.

You are right to say working on inner game will help combat the feeling of inferority.

Now many people will tell themselves, i am the shit, i am the shit, no girl is out of my league, i can get any1 i want, but this isnt effective, dont try and kid yourself that your high value, you have to belive your high value, you have to belive you have a high self worth.

'If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.'

ill give an example,

say i go to a club and do DFG, i get a few Kcloses just because things seem to be going my way tonight, im feeling really confident now, because i know game i BELIVE i now have preselection and i BELIVE the next target sees me as being high value, it is likely i will be very sucessful tonight and have alot of closes. And now i will leave the club feeling very confident and feeling i have high self belife.

I go out the next night lets say my aproaches go wrong, i get blown out every single set, no closes, all and all its a terrible night...Bang, my confidence and self belife is gone, i can tell myself i am confident and have high self worth....but i dont belive it.

So all that confidence i had was temporary, 1 bad night and its gone.

What i am saying is your self esteem and self worth will go up and down radicaly if you deal with like this, you want to permantly feel you are high value, and not have that be in a way that can be completly destroyed in one night.

ok, now i belive you can gain this self value in two ways, you mentioned earlier about inner game, yes i belive this is a very effective way of doing this, changing the way you generaly percive the world can change the value you belive you have.

The other way would be the materilistic things, two examples here would be,

Physical image-If i belive i look good, i will belive i have a higher value and this wont disapear overnight, im not going to wake up tomorrow fat, so, as long as i train i will gain a greater sence of self worth because of how i look.

Doing things your passionet about-For me this would be sports, for example if i train hard and im good at a sport, i will belive i am worth more because i do something i love and im good at it, this wont disappear over night.
(doing somthing you feel strongly about could be anything, charity work, traveling, mabye your job, chess...anything)

To rid yourself of self esteem problems and BELIVE your worth alot i would sugest a combination of adressing your inner game and adressing the more materialistic things.

I think you should make a list, Hank.

Grab some paper and write down your great qualities.
Then ask yourself what else a girl could want from you.
Probably nothing.. cause youre a great fucking guy.

I wrote one back a while ago.

1. Im fun to be around
2. Ive traveld and seen things
3. Lets just call bigger than normal
4. I make really good pasta
5. I saved someones life once

I usually ask girls: "So whats great about you?"
They always say they dont know.
So I tell them they should try making a list cause its embarrsing not being able to
name on skill. Then I just go over my list..

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

I remember a specific person saying "you are not your job, you are not your car, you are the all dancing, all singing crap of the world" or something in those lines.


Point is, she's just a girl.


Spark some emotions, let her live a little. Even if this means pissing her off a bit.

Be a troublemaker, don't ask for permission but learn to say sorry when you screw up.