A little issue I’m struggling with right now:

I do have ‘the player’ image. No big deal, right? I know how to handle the shit tests. But it has a downside for me.

Every single girl I engage (be it a cold approach/social circle/acquaintance) has massive ASD. I have to put a huge amount of time in conversation and building comfort/trust. Also, I can’t seem to engage a girl without her seeing me as a potential sex partner. Therefore, I have very few female friends in my life, only short time adventures and superficial connections. The problem is that I’m simply not interested in putting so much effort into one single girl yet. I hate taking things slow. I like being fast, direct and upfront. That’s me. It disgusts me seeing other AFC’s spending hours hovering around a girl talking about boring crap, hoping not to get rejected and playing it safe.

When interacting with a girl I always ask myself: “is the juice worth the squeeze”? Often time I feel it’s not! So I decide to play hard and fast again. Time is money.
Compare it with this:

Bad example I know: “Hey, what’s that cool jacket I see there? Let’s buy and wear it… What? This shit is too tight! It’s not in my size right now. But it will be in a few days. Aaah no, fuck it! I’ll take another jacket instead and wear it right now.”

Real life example: “Hmmm… this girl is interested in me. Let’s turn up the heat quickly by going in for a kiss and skipping the boring shit! What’s this? She turns her head! Hmm, I know she wants me; I just need to spend some more time talking about the weather again. Aaah no, fuck it! She’s not that special. This is getting boring. Let’s approach the other girls and do ridiculous stuff.”

How can I bring myself to actually being genuinely interested in a girl? So I can build a solid connection with her as a person without coming off as a pussy playing it safe. It seems impossible, since every girl associates me with the words: player, sex.

Any feedback greatly appreciated!

_________________
Don't let no one get you down. Keep moving on higher ground.
Keep flying until, you are the king of the hill.
No force of a nature can break, your will to self-motivate.
She says this face that you see, is destined for history.

unless you wanna try using your player vibe to your advantage; i'd say you're screwed. you can't deny you're a player to a girl then try going for the quick lay - it's far too transparant.

if you wanna be ashamed of your player vibe and deny it, you're gonna have to work a lot harder to get a girl interested and comfortable enough with you to want to sleep with you.

Check out Ezo's thread she-calls-you-a-player-now-were-talking-vt65764.html? for more information on this. it really helped me a lot

not sure if i completely understand what your saying. your interested in actually getting to know girls? or your trying to just befriend girls but not try to reach a full close? or your trying to find a oneitis?

either way, they all kinda end up the same (unless your still wanting quick sex)

i think youve answerd your own question if you think about it.

your labeled as a player. girls that show interest in you are ready for sex instantly.

answer 1:
tone yourself down. we know about pecocking, we know about playing the game. you appearently are quiet good at it. so tone it down. dress a little less, act a little less. make yourself remove some of that sex appeal (lol...cant believe im saying this to a guy)

that way your attractive, they can build something with you. they see you 2-3 times and then suddenly one night you come out sparkling fresh at top game, and theyre like "o_o woah, and hes so cool to talk to too!" bamo, girl that youve built connection with AND digs you.


Answer 2:
try to actually talk to a girl. fuck the game. get to know the girl herself. look at the type of girls your talking to normally. do you think they are the type that are worth getting to know? in my experience the "hotter" they are, the less appealing the personality is (granted, this is not always the case)

analyze your inner game, outer game, and your targets. change what is necessary.

Thanks for the replies!
Yes, befriending them and getting to know them better personally without sex is what I'm looking for. Also no kissing. Just being good friends with a girl without the sexual element.

Like I said, this is extremely hard to accomplish. Since girls think I'm playing silly games with them. This recently happened:

A few weeks ago, I approached a girl at the local bar with the intention to close her. So my game was pretty sexually charged. I tried a kiss. She initially refused and said she needed to spend more time with me first. Talked some more to her and decided to left with her number. At that time, a close was still on my mind, so I made suggestions for a day 2. Again, she refused and said she won't date anyone whom she only met once in a bar. But I knew we had a good conversation back then, so I decided to drop the sexual element and befriend her. Next time I saw her at the local bar again, we just talked like friends would talk with each other (no kino escalation). This made her very confused! She expected me to escalate things again but I told her I justed wanted to be friends. She was shocked and ignored me for the rest of the night.

I like to be myself so answer 1: "toning down" won't be a favourite option for me. I will take answer 2 into consideration though. But this will still make girls feel "unwanted/confused", since a sexual relationship is on their mind!

_________________
Don't let no one get you down. Keep moving on higher ground.
Keep flying until, you are the king of the hill.
No force of a nature can break, your will to self-motivate.
She says this face that you see, is destined for history.