Fuck oneitus



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 Post subject: Fuck oneitus
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:52 am 
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hokey pokey, right I have been busy with work for a while but I had a revelation. Whenever you have one-itus make a list of all the faults of the girl (even the smallest) and refer back to it often and add to it.

Once she is on the second page of "doesn't like x box", " does an annoying thing whilst eating" or "has a really fucking annoying laugh", you will start seeing her as less special.

It has an interesting snowball effect the key is to begin the list with small things, then you realise you are a dumb ass for thinking she is perfect and can tackle the bigger things you are denying.

Hope this helps



as a side note it is handy when breaking up if you can drop reasons off the top of your head

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:42 pm 
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I had a similar problem with a girl recently and i think if i did that i think i would find myself saying, "yeah but she is good at. . . .etc" or even proving to myself that she wasnt as bad as id thought.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 6:02 pm 
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I'm skeptical. In fact I'd go so far as to say I doubt it'd work at all. It's an awesome idea and you've done well to think of it, though it requires the prerequisite that the person with one-itis is thinking logically, which they are not.

One-itis, in psychological terms, is 'limerance'; it's worth checking this out and evaluating the research before forming an opinion on one-itis.

I think it's easy to ask someone to do that and think they'll be able to accomplish the task appropriately, but I simply echo RockyD; you wouldn't be able to do it properly. If anything, it would just get you thinking more about the girl, and then you'd realize how much you love her all over again.

The point is those with one-itis can't focus on the girl's negatives. They either don't see them, or they don't even want to see them.

My opinion is that as a community we try to prognose and 'fix' one-itis too much, as if it were some sort of disease. You can't. Just let it be. Let it play out. Only time can 'heal' it, if you consider it an ailment.

No matter how many amazing techniques you get from the community, and how much you know, once you're in one-itis, this all goes out the window.

If you ever know someone with one-itis (which I'm sure you will at some point) in the near future, try to get them to do this, I bet you it won't work and will probably make it worse.

I had a small case of one-itis a few weeks ago now, and I'm only just recovering - that's pretty good time, but then I only interacted with her for 30 mins :D :D. Thinking of using your technique, I don't want to think of it any further, because I don't even want to think of her - but maybe that's just me!

One-itis can get anyone, 'guru' or 'afc'. Anyone, anytime. I say just let it be and if you get the girl, great, if you don't, just keep breathing and give it time. Anything that requires you to 'try' to fix it, will probably by the very nature of 'trying' make it worse.

Just adding to this, how many times have you heard someone with one-itis say, "but she's perfect" or "I'll never find anyone else like this". Hell, that's what I still think about my one-itis!!!! My head knows its not true, but I can't FEEL it's not true. If you think she's perfect, how are you going to list negative qualities about her? You'll just end up listing more positive ones and then realising how the positives outweigh the negatives to such an extent that you end up reaffirming your one-itis.

I'd end by saying that for me, Mystery's (I think?) idea of going out and sarging bare is still the best method for helping one-itis on its way out your ass. That shit works, it's just getting the person to do it and get in the mood to sarge well.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 7:47 pm 
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Nah this definitely works for me, been doing it for as long as I can remember.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:11 pm 
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One-itis, I hadn't heard of this word until a yr back in the PU world. But had experience it before.

Why do you guys think of one-itis as a bad thing. Why not enjoy those feelingyou get in your stomach, in your toes from wanting someone knowing that its tough to get them. Nothing wrong with that, the more you fight it the more disturbed you would be.

Jaybot, the opposite of Love is not hate but indifference because both love and hate are two very strong feelings at the opposite ends that are tough to cope with. What you are suggesting is simply thinking about the girl but this time in a negative way, how will that help except for temporarily

This is what I did, when ever I felt like calling her I would pick up the phone and call another friend, when ever I would want to mail her I'd write to another friend. I developed behaviors and certain patterns that would lead me to do something else whenever I thought of her. It was just week or so, i dont remember, that I found myself not thinking of her at all.

Besides, going out and meeting someone new is also helpful.

The more you think of her in (+) or (-) terms the more you are digging a hole for yourself- Go figure

But who am I to suggest you are a Dating Coach you know Better


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:52 pm
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Quote:
I'm skeptical. In fact I'd go so far as to say I doubt it'd work at all. It's an awesome idea and you've done well to think of it, though it requires the prerequisite that the person with one-itis is thinking logically, which they are not.

One-itis, in psychological terms, is 'limerance'; it's worth checking this out and evaluating the research before forming an opinion on one-itis.

I think it's easy to ask someone to do that and think they'll be able to accomplish the task appropriately, but I simply echo RockyD; you wouldn't be able to do it properly. If anything, it would just get you thinking more about the girl, and then you'd realize how much you love her all over again.

The point is those with one-itis can't focus on the girl's negatives. They either don't see them, or they don't even want to see them.

My opinion is that as a community we try to prognose and 'fix' one-itis too much, as if it were some sort of disease. You can't. Just let it be. Let it play out. Only time can 'heal' it, if you consider it an ailment.

No matter how many amazing techniques you get from the community, and how much you know, once you're in one-itis, this all goes out the window.

If you ever know someone with one-itis (which I'm sure you will at some point) in the near future, try to get them to do this, I bet you it won't work and will probably make it worse.

I had a small case of one-itis a few weeks ago now, and I'm only just recovering - that's pretty good time, but then I only interacted with her for 30 mins :D :D. Thinking of using your technique, I don't want to think of it any further, because I don't even want to think of her - but maybe that's just me!

One-itis can get anyone, 'guru' or 'afc'. Anyone, anytime. I say just let it be and if you get the girl, great, if you don't, just keep breathing and give it time. Anything that requires you to 'try' to fix it, will probably by the very nature of 'trying' make it worse.

Just adding to this, how many times have you heard someone with one-itis say, "but she's perfect" or "I'll never find anyone else like this". Hell, that's what I still think about my one-itis!!!! My head knows its not true, but I can't FEEL it's not true. If you think she's perfect, how are you going to list negative qualities about her? You'll just end up listing more positive ones and then realising how the positives outweigh the negatives to such an extent that you end up reaffirming your one-itis.

I'd end by saying that for me, Mystery's (I think?) idea of going out and sarging bare is still the best method for helping one-itis on its way out your ass. That shit works, it's just getting the person to do it and get in the mood to sarge well.

You, mate, have written down here my exact thoughts. I don't think people can truly comprehend what oneitis is like if they haven't felt it properly before, i tried doing what the OP is doing but it doesn't go away no matter how many hb's you get with (i've been with 18 hb's since the oneitis started, and still i think about her sometimes), you just have to accept it if its bad and thats part of maturity, realising your own mortality and that game is not going to fix the problem (because i don't want another hb, personally, deep down). The only way to fix the problem is to not see it as a problem imo and just accept it. The game is not meant to make us invincible, its meant to enrich our lives but some things are not in our control, you've got to try and just be pragmatic with fate sometimes.

Reason i say this, i found something out about my oneitis a short while back which would make me gaming her to be immoral and also manipulative in a way because of the context involved.

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