By my definition 7 = above average looking, almost on her way to being beautiful.

So I have been reading game related material since 2010 and I do my best to look my best. My looks are pretty decent, were good enough to get me some compliments and get me into Beautifulpeople.com (no e-brag).

Yet I have seen guys who were not as good looking as me, not as social as me, and were total dorks around women get with girls who were legitimately attractive. I mean some of these guys were clearly overweight, came to social events sometimes smelling like garbage, and said the dumbest things possible but still managed to get with girls who were way out of their league. What did they have?

Money?
Game?

I found that these guys might have had some of that, but they had the one thing that gave them an advantage over the guy with the Armani model looks, the guy with the six figure salary, and and even the social guy who had the guts to pull all kinds of openers on women. For a while, it frustrated me, a lot. I was frustrated that the chubby redneck with the hideous country accent was getting with the attractive blonde while I was still an AFC. Despite taking all of those years of improving myself, there I was.

See, I began to ask why all these well traveled, educated, good looking, and cool guys were becoming AFCs while these guys with average looks, haven't been outside of their small town, and didn't even go to college were getting these good looking girls chasing after them. I mean WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?

Then slowly I started to figure it out, I noticed what ALL of these guys who were dating these 7s and 10s had in common.

Somehow, someway, and by some luck, these guys were able to break into their social circles. I still don't know HOW they did it but they did it.

I started to wonder what was going on and why. Why is it that the guy with average looks and hardly any intelligence was getting the attractive girl while there were so many good looking guys who were struggling to get these girls?

So I found that women find safety in their "pack". A lot of these women (and this is so true in small towns) had their "circles" or "cliques" which they ran in and if they were to hook up with some random stranger or an outsider for a relationship or even a one night stand, they risked lowering their status to their circle. Women chase status like PUAs chase women. If guys with country accents that go to Tim McGraw concerts are seen as attractive in their group, there is no way that a man who isn't a fan of country music can truly be of higher value to her than the guy in her circle that has tickets to the Tim McGraw concerts.

By some method, they managed to be the guy in her social circle who were respected and well regarded. The familiarity opened her up to being with them and since they were already known to be attractive to attractive girls, OTHER attractive girls started chasing after them too. For some reason, if a guy has dated a few attractive girls and other girls come to find out about this, they want to be with him too. If he has been with ONE attractive girl in that social circle, other attractive girls in that social circle want to know what it is about him and they chase after him. Women have the herd mentality.

Now don't get me wrong, you can STILL be with some decent looking girls through cold approaches and "game" but being a part of that one social circle makes it so much easier. I get the impression that these guys had some sort of a leverage of advantage growing up which put them in access to social circles which had attractive women in them. Maybe they worked at a fancy restaurant, met some well connected people, and things just started to fall into place.

I can tell you one thing though, once I do figure this out, I won't be spending time on here lol....

Okay maybe just a small amount of time on here to spread the information

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Thanks for that. Very interesting post. I think that's something we often overlook. It's also a good way of meeting like minded women. So if you like history, go to a history class. If you like art or music or reading... do likewise. Then get everyone in the group together for coffee/drinks/whatever. Develop a social circle from that. You'll meet women who are likely of above average compatibility with you. Worst case you'll spend time doing something of interest to you and make friends. Best case, you'll snag that 10 who's a perfect match for you.

Dude you don't know how to get into a social circle?

Have people like you.

That's it... if they like you're in.

Picking up a social circle is like picking up a girl. Most of the same shit applies.

Stop bringing up and creating beliefs by the way... you're just creating another one.

"I get the impression that these guys had some sort of a leverage of advantage growing up which put them in access to social circles which had attractive women in them."

^^^ You're going to do the same shit you did with the bull shit on blondes, I would have but growing up I didn't have that type bull shit.

Stop complicating this shit.

Those guys are attractive to those girls... for whatever reason you're mentally masturbating the shit out of this.

You're undervaluing these guys... they may just be more attractive than you to them (that's the only perspective that matters)... so what move on.

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER GUYS. Emphasize what you got and add more but you saying I'm better looking and he has bad taste in music... bla bla bla... is you just not being honest with yourself... those guys offer her more for them. How are you going to offer her more?

Social circle game is the easiest way to get laid but it also depends on the size of the social circle... small social circle doesn't present opportunities.

How about this: GFTOW

Peace and Love,

Vic

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

You may well be right Paramount, but I don't think 'social circle' and 'game' are mutually exclusive. You don't get to the top of a social circle without having skills to get you there. Those same skills will get you women too. Basically, you've got to have something which the social group or the girl wants.

Yeah, it can be something like being able to hook people up with tickets to concerts they like, or being able to get a girl some backstage passes to a band she really likes who has a manager that you knew at college or something like that. It can also be something a lot more simple like just being good fun to be around. Or being witty. Or whatever.

When you spoke about an attractive lifestyle in a couple of other threads, I don't know if you knew the main reason why you wanted one. The attractive lifestyle isn't attractive because of any one particular thing. It's attractive because it shows the girl a good time, or it gives the girl that social status or whatever. The girl will want to come into your life if it's "attractive", she won't if it's not. If you've got a lifestyle which will give a girl a good time, then of course she'll be more interested in you than someone who is going to sit home watching TV and eating pizza every time they meet up. She'll get bored with that and go because you aren't giving her anything.

But there isn't a "trick" to this. It's about just offering people something. Now for most of us, just being confident and being yourself will make you more fun than 75% of guys out there. Everyone is fun, but most people are restrained because they don't want to embarrass themselves. So if you can just be confident enough to be yourself, then you'll be more fun than most of the competition already. If you want to be better than 90% rather than just 75, then figure out what it is that you can offer people, and work on that until it's better than 90% of other guys. Again, the thing you can offer doesn't need to be material. If you can offer people a charming conversation, that will be enough. If you can tell better jokes that will be enough. If you can be the one organising the best parties in town, great.

Nice to see some in depth discussion about this. My thing is, I can easily open these social circles and make people laugh (with me not at me), make them like me (superficially it seems), but I fail to be a part of their events. Sometimes I notice the guys in a social circle will like me a bit but some of the girls, most of the times it isn't even all of them but a select few will give me the rude stares.

A lot of these social circles seem to get established really early in college, most of these people know each other through either dorm life or even back in high school. I have been trying to get better at breaking in but it seems like I always get left out of a lot of these events that these guys go to.

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Sounds like you're being outcome dependent. "I'm doing these things so I can get invited places." (Not that you are but that is the way it seems, am I wrong?).

The reason people invite me to go to abstract places and do things is because I make it easy... You don't do nice things to do nice things to get invited places. This is similar to nice guys being nice guys so the girl will like them, only you're doing this for a social circle. Do you see what I'm saying?

One of the strongest ways to build a bond is to have an experience together... to enjoy something together. Similar to how you try and make a unique observation with women at a bar/club so you guys can share and inside joke in the future. Yeah those guys may have a past, but that past started SOMEWHERE and that is how their bond started. Focus on genuinely being a good guy and having fun, not to do it to gain acceptance people can smell that shit and it simply feels needy.

Another thing, you know you can invite them out to go gaming... you can invite them to go drinking... it doesn't just have to be them inviting you. Why not be the guy extending invitations to do things too? Honestly why not buy some concert tickets(for yourself not everyone else) and go to cool events and invite them along? Don't forget though the guy who is invited guys is the guy who's the "alpha" after all he's in charge of the group.

Sorry to lay into you initially but you are creating a mind block like you've already done for years that got you banned from multiple forums. The only difference is what is blocking.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

That's the problem, I have convinced girls to sleep with me and gamed them but gaming a social circle is so fucking hard. A lot of the guys who get laid a lot are douchey as fuck and pretty much try to protect against any outsider who wants to be a part of their group. On top of that most of them will put you through hell if you even try to hang out with them and work your way into their social circle, even though that is not what you are initially trying to do.

I mean seriously, Southern Hospitality? I have met nicer people from other parts of the country.

Now in the past I have blamed stuff on others but its not like I am just sitting at home jerking off, I am going out there. What I have found is people will be nice to you intially but after the first encounter they will just pretend like they don't know you. Must be a southern thing which I have heard A LOT but I am really trying dude, it just gets nowhere. I have gone from feeling hopeful in this category and doing my best to make things happen to slowly feeling hopeless.

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

If people are ignoring you on the second encounter, then you didn't impact them enough on the first encounter. Simple really. If you're the coolest guy they've ever met, they aren't going to ignore you when they bump into you a couple of weeks later.

So work on being more fun, becoming more witty etc. But at the same time, not everyone is going to like everyone. Some people will think person A is really funny and cool, whilst other people will think person A is a douchebag. If you can't get in with one group, so what? Go and find nother group to get in with.

Paramount, I have a great social circle that is very large, and Im also in the south, so I'm going to give you a few pointers based on what you have said in the above posts.

You cannot 'break' into a social circle like its an abandoned house. You have to be invited. Whether you are trying to bulldoze in or schmooze your way into a group, it will be obvious and everyone will think you are a fucking creep. When guys like you show up uninvited and start poking around, we southerners will talk to you and pretend you are an ok guy, but we still aren't going to invite you out. That's southern hospitality.

If there's a group of 20 people or so, and 3-4 dont like you, you are fucked, because they don't need you, and its not worth pissing off the 3-4 people to invite you out.

Believe it or not, if you try to be cool with me and my boys, asking us what we are up to later, we know you just want a shot at one of our bitches, so the only way its going to work is if there's a tag along 6.5 that everyone else has already banged. We would let you have her.

If you are a genuinely likeable guy that can actually add to the dynamic of a group, then we would ASK you to kick it with us.

This is also important- most of us have multiple groups that are loosely connected. Just because you are in one does not mean you are cool with everybody in the bigger conglomerate of people. But, for big parties, tailgates, holidays, everybody will be a bit more open to letting you come around.

The best thing you could do for yourself is to get friendzoned by 2-3 hot chicks and eventually somebody will invite you along just so they can fuck your girls, and you should probably tell the guy that he has a good chance.

Hope this makes sense.

you need to focus on changing your approach rather than blaming the outcome on external things by calling them douches

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Natty: I have been wanting to get at your post forever but my schedule has kept me busy, finally I have gotten to it. Anyways, here I am to answer your reply.

I figured that is what I was coming off as in that given situation.

My issue is not being able to get called to tag along with these guys, I cannot do it for some reason. Like something I do makes me come off as undesirable company even though I have some chill convos with these guys. Still working on it but nice to hear some perspective from a southerner. The only issue is that if your value is so low, a lot of these girls who are attractive won't even friend zone you, they just act like you don't even exist.

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Theres two basic ways to get in a social circle

1: Through the guys
2: Through the girls

Both can work. I like breaking in through the girls because its more rapid and you make a bigger splash. You can go out, bang a random babes brains out, and literally overnight a huge social group opens up infront of you, and because you got in by banging one of the girls yoy have big respect right off the bat.

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It came to me in a drreeeaaammmm

Yep, again this is the link with attractive lifestyle and how that works with women which I have been talking about in a couple of your threads recently.

Women like an 'attractive lifestyle' because they want to become a part of it - your lifestyle looks like fun, if they start dating you, they will be brought into this fun lifestyle and they themselves will have fun. If they think that, by dating you, they will sit around watching TV all day doing nothing, they aren't going to find that overly fun.

Social circles work in much the same way. Most decent guys will happily talk to a new person as long as that new person is reasonably cool. But they aren't going to start inviting him places if all he does is come and tag along with the group adding very little. If you tag along and are massively good fun when you're with them, they'll soon start to think "this guy makes our afternoons together loads more interesting, let's bring him next week."

Again, this can be achieved in a number of ways. Like I said to you about girls elsewhere, yeah, you can achieve this effect by being the guy who can hook them up with VIP tickets to the club, or free passes to see their favourite band or whatever. But you don't need to do that. You just need to be a fun guy to be around. If you give them more fun than they would have without you being there, they will ask you to come back. If you're just a relatively nice bloke who they can chat to without really adding much to the afternoon, then why would they bother? There are plenty of randomers who can be alright to chat to without adding much; they don't need you specifically.

Great post 7000. But in that sense ALL I can think of is:

1. Having an interesting sense of humor
2. Having great stories to tell

Other than that, I am not really understanding what else I need to do to add value to the given social circle and be that guy. Maybe it is because I haven't lived much of an interesting life until a few months back but other than that, well that is it.

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.