It's Almost Always Your Fault



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:05 pm 
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My perspective on social interactions has changed immensely since I discovered PUA and began improving myself. Now I find myself paying attention to details that I never used to notice or give a second thought to. Now I find myself analyzing, thinking, and even sometimes planning before a set - most of which I can't help - and after a set I always find myself evaluating the interaction.

When I eject or close a girl, I always evaluate what I did right and what I did wrong in the set. This is sometimes helpful to let you learn from your mistakes, but doing this in the middle of a night out or between sets will get you thinking too much about your state and your game and get you out of the moment and not being present. But after a night out, it's good to look over your interactions and what you did right and what you did wrong.

Every once in a while, when a set goes poorly and you get blown out, rejected, eject early, or something else goes wrong, you blame the girl or an external source for you fucking up. You might find that you tell yourself "Oh, that girl was just a bitch, that's why", or "That AMOG wouldn't leave me alone," etcetera.

Here's a little wake up call though; it's *almost* always your fault. You can *almost* never blame the other person or external factors for you messing up a set or a conversation. It's *almost* never the girl's fault. It's *almost* never the guy's fault. It's *almost* always your fault.

I hope this doesn't come as a punch to the gut for most of you, but if it does, there is a silver lining that I think you'll appreciate. The fact that it is *almost* always your fault means that you are also always in control. You are in control of whether you fail or succeed. You are in control of whether you number close, kiss close, fuck close, or don't close at all. It really is all up to you. So when you don't do any of these things, when you don't chase what you want, when you are afraid to escalate or approach a girl, it is *almost* always your fault.

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-Sharplin
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Last edited by Sharplin on Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:31 pm 
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Mr. Nemo

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I agree that its almost always your fault for why you loose the girl. But I disagree that it is always your fault. When ever you are gaming a girl there will always going to be things that are outside of your control no matter what you do. And these things that you don't have any control over can make you loose the girl.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:52 pm 
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it is not always your fault. don't preach things that are false. there are a million reasons why sometimes you may think you're running perfect game but that one or two girls slip away. thats called uncontrollable circumstances. you cant control everything. she may be on her period and reject you, she may just be in an awful mood which you cant cheer her up from.

tons of reasons. mainly yes, it is up to you. but not always.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:02 am 
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Quote:
it is not always your fault. don't preach things that are false. there are a million reasons why sometimes you may think you're running perfect game but that one or two girls slip away. thats called uncontrollable circumstances. you cant control everything. she may be on her period and reject you, she may just be in an awful mood which you cant cheer her up from.

tons of reasons. mainly yes, it is up to you. but not always.
Okay perhaps the post was a little strongly worded, and I hope I didn't come off too "preachy". It is almost always your fault.

But whether or not is your fault 100% of the time or 90% of the time, the moral of the post is the same. What I was trying to imply was that you are always in control of the outcome. If the girl is on her period, it's just another challenge for you to overcome. You can still be in control, though. It isn't impossible to game a girl who is PMSing. Just really hard.

Knowing this, though, don't walk away from a set saying "Oh, shit, I should have done so much better." Walk away from a set learning from your mistakes.

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-Sharplin
My journal:
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:08 am 
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Interesting post.

I think perhaps you over-generalize. In pickup, you can never really get every single girl. There are just some girls who won't go with you for various reasons.

There's a good message here, though.

AFC's think they have no control. They just wait to vibe with a girl and then "get lucky". But, we are here. We are their disproof.

Stop blaming the results on other people. You CAN do it, so keep trying. Don't give up, you could definitely have gotten a better outcome.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:24 pm 
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I think what sharplin is pretty much summing up is the fact that instead of blaming exterior variables such as amogs, you should look at yourself and evaluate your self before trying to find answers in other people. What could you have done differently that may have resulted in you getting a different result?
For example if amogs are your sticking point then you need to learn how to fuckin deal with them pricks, Its not the amogs fault its your fault for not knowing not knowing what to do when confronted by one, whether that means just giving as good as you get or blowing them completely out the set ;)

P.S. I mean a quick evaluation is all good but dont get caught up doing this through the night ( i usually might think a little more deeply when taking a piss ;P )
Live the moment and maybe think back later :)

-Stryde-

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