This was originally posted as a response on a different forum, I've tried to neaten it up a bit, but forgive if the context is a little out...
I've always been the quick witted/quick response/clever insult guy out of my friends, they even tried getting me onto their side in arguments so that they could win over hte other person.
I also used a directly challenging/conflicting response which always twisted the original's words back on them.
Now, at the end of last year, I met a girl, who, anything she said, no matter what come back I had, it just never appeared to be enough, I just couldn't win.
This was new to me, I had never experienced this problem EVER! So I made it my quest to keep bantering with this chick until I found away to 'win' incase I ran into other people like her in the future...
Basically, it ended up coming down to as the original post says. I realised if I go with the persons insult, it automatically makes them lose their power, their insult now has no effect/weight in the interaction. Then you can twist it, flip it, add to it, send it back nicely packaged in any way you like.
Once I discovered this I was very pleased.
The example used was something like a guy saying
"hey buddy, your t-shirt looks like a dog was sick on it''
I would suggest a response like
"yeah and it smells like it too, I'm hoping it hides my b.o. here smell..."
((
this is where you agree with it, causing their insult to carry no weight, and show you can laugh at yourself. Is a very strong show of self confidence etc.))
You could just shrug it off and with a light wavy brushing/shooing hand gesture shake your head and turn away. But sometimes that isnt always the best way.
The way I see it, is the same with fighting/martial arts.
If someone was to push me, and I was to resist, if they are stronger than me, I will just be bowled over. And even if not, im expending energy(putting in effort) to resist them.
Now, if instead of resisting, I allow my body to move in the same direction, by MY choice, I stay in complete control of myself, whilst giving them nothing to push against, their force is removed. For them it is like pushing at air, they will feel their attack/force, no matter how strong, was just weak and pointless.
It's a very taoist concept too.
There's a story about a sage and his students going to a waterfall, and when they get there, they see a guy in the water, and know that these waterfalls are too powerful to swim in, and so think the guy is hurt/in trouble and go down to help him. When they get there, they discover he is fine. When questioned about how he managed to survive the strong currents and force of the waterfall, he explains how he did so by not fighting/resisting it, but going with it.
I explain it shit so a full version of the story can be found here...
http://www.taoism.net/living/2007/200702.htm
I hope all of the above is understandable and useful to people.
much love Smiley
~Liquid Blend[/url]