As I started going back to the gym to hit the weights hard again, this time as a well shrunk has-been, nostalgia was the only word to describe the moment when the soft hands touched the rusty weights. That familiar smell of sweat and rust never felt so familiar. Reps after reps I went,sets after sets I did. They were lightweights. In the past these weights were never a problem and were never seen as a challenge.

Beside me was the guy who started out later than me,was smaller than me, never took a break and consistently went and hit the gym rain or shine. Now he has grown huge; healthily over 80kg with little fats. He was never genetically blessed or chemically enhanced. Just the average joe displeased with how he looked and pushed the extra mile every time. He was friendly. And he was always open to advice. Always trying out what others said and experiementing what worked for him and what didn't. And all about him sounded like me when i first started out.

When I first started out. I was that guy who was always eager to ask and learn, never afraid to approach even the largest guy or to try out the toughest known exercise for growth. Keyword? Ego.

I remember as I progressed further things started to change. I eventually developed my own style of workouts. Pushing it hard and feeling the ache. I was growing. My form was good. I knew what I was doing. But I never really had that passion to experiment the new things that would make me grow. I still took in advice from the more experienced guys. But I never really did bother about the more inexperienced ones who started out later than me when they tried giving me advice. I never really offered myself a shortcut if there was if any at all. I would listen out of courtesy and rush back to my workout, dismissing the thought of trying it out in my mind by going, 'nah I already know what I'm doing. I don't have time for that shit'. My body wasn't the only thing that was growing. My ego was growing just as big.

And today I'm struggling with the weights that were never thought to be a challenge. The guy beside me is still as friendly and as open to advice and opinion regarding his workout and form even though he's well on his way to the nationals pretty soon. He definitely know what he's doing with all that steady success. Keyword? Ego. Then a thought struck my mind. I could have been bigger than him. I could have been stronger than him. I could have been in the nationals. Familiar? How about could have done this, could have accomplished that. The commonality is what follows behind the sentence; a failure. Digging deeper into it, you perceive whatever you couldn't achieve/could have achieved to be below you in the first place. Now take a second to digest this. Applying this to life and PU, you could have pulled, you could have closed, BUT you, simply put yourself on a pedestal and a king throne's made up of 'could have's' and/or past glories. Your mind starts throwing in 'I could have closed her but *insert excuse here*. It's alright. I still remember x day,x month,x year which I closed girl x. My mark is still defined based on that. Which means I still have my skillset.' .'So I'm only waiting for that perfect set, perfect scenario to use my perfect bla and i'll close again. Yes I will close again,when the stars align. I've done it before'. Sounds familiar?

Often as we progress our ego grows with us. A little shit taken from others will often result in 'do you know who the hell i am?' and 'can you match up to what I've done?'. Past tense bro.It's all past sense. Keep it present,keep pushing. You don't have your number of closes written on your forehead. You don't have your skillset graded out of hundred written on your shirt. Yes perhaps you feel as though you've found the truth. You've found the way. But are you sure that it's the fastest? the quickest? the most efficient? Most important of all, is it the only way?

Keep it real, keep the ego small. Keep pushing.