Have any of you ever liked a girl, and i mean really REALLY liked a girl, but at the same time not wanted to be exclusive with her? (ie. have a relationship). If your answer is yes, I believe you were not that into her in the first place. I believe that if you like her ENOUGH, you will ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) want to be exclusive with her, end of story.

I am fascinated by the way people casually tell their friends that they don't want to be in a relationship right now, and that they just 'want to have fun'. Fine. Maybe they don't want a girl friend right now by conscious choice. HOWEVER, if they found the right girl, and they were THAT into them, they would automatically want exclusivity because that girl would bring them emotional fulfillment, that magical feeling one gets when you're with a girl that really REALLY does it for you. Saying no to this would be running away from immense pleasure. Any mentally stable and healthy individual would not do such a thing as it would just be, unnatural.

In addition to that, if you develop feelings/emotions for her which are strong enough, you are not going to want that girl to go around f*cking other guys would you? You would want her exclusively in your life and it would PIIISS YOU OFF to watch her even KISS someone else. This is human nature. Your biological 'drive' is telling you that she will be the mother of your offspring. And when any other male enters the scene (say kisses her), you are ofcourse going to react emotionally as that is your TERRITORY and he is jeopardizing the production of your offspring. Do not tell me you would not CARE, if you really didn't, you would not be human.

So, regardless of what people say, I believe that if the 'perfect' girl came along that absolutely rocked your f*cking world, ticked all the boxes and enriched your life in ways you never thought possible, please do not for one second tell me that you would pass that opportunity up purely so that you could continue to f*ck other random women which you don't care HALF as much for.

I wrote this post not because I have found someone that fits my description above, it is something I was chatting to a friend about the other day so I thought I would put my thoughts out there.

And guys, it go's both ways, if she ever tells you she doesn't want anything serious, whether it be because she's too busy studying, or she's just got out of a serious relationship, or her life is complicated right now, or her father died 2 weeks ago, what EVER her reason is, its BULLSHIT.... she is just not that into you my friend. If she was, her drive would take over and she would not be able to help herself and would desire exclusivity, no matter what.

In the same way that attraction is not a choice, nor is the desire for exclusivity.

Gratz for finding someone like that. Some of us are looking for that particular one. Not all of us mind you. Everyone have different goals and different objectives regarding women. I woudn't want to judge people who never want to go exclusive.

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

What you say is true.... but consider the fact that we were not built for monogamy.

I agree 100%.

I don't want to be exclusive right now, I really am enjoying meeting new women on a regular basis. I am extremely passionate about it. However, I know that when/if the 'right' one comes along, I wont be able to help myself in terms of wanting to be exclusive with her. A little thing called love, i dont know.

Its interesting to see that if you speak to most people who are currently in long term relationships, they weren't looking for it at all. They will make jokes about how their partner was not 'meant' to come along, but they just did dammit...

I guess it boils down to falling in love with someone. If you did fall hard for someone and things seemed extremely peachy, you would have to give yourself a dam good reason to actually WANT to pass that up. I cant think of any right now, but thats just me.

The point of my post is, why would someone pass up such a state of euphoria (love) for something of lesser pleasure/impact. There would have to be something far better to choose from, of which I cannot think of any. I believe most things in life boil down to love (different shapes and forms of course).

I most certainly have, and have researched a fair amount on it too (I bet a lot of you have). The way that we CURRENTLY stand in society, I believe we are not best suited for monogamy. Note I say CURRENTLY. The way that family upbringings are dependent on household incomes, the way that offspring need nurturing from both father and mother for a healthy upbringing, the way that financial products encompass laws for no more than 2 marital partners (and many other laws too) etc etc.

And yes sure, we only believe that this is the 'way' it should be because we have been conditioned to believe this, however my point is this, not being monogamous (ie. polygamous) while replicating in TODAY'S society, would be a complete mess. And this is because SOCIETY is built for monogamy (whether we are 'built' for it or not).

In the same way that we need to respect a woman's social reputation (think ASD), this is something society has imposed on us and that we simply need to work around and respect.

Don't wish to be rude at all but isn't all of this just common sense?

No, it is a view/opinion. Not everyone will agree with the content in this post.

True and false on both the instinctual and societal level.

Us men are not built for monogamy no however it's a one way street as we are built to protect our females from other males aka have them exclusive to only us whilst we are not exclusive to them. From a biological point of view it makes sense as we want lots of mates to have offspring with but we don't want the childs DNA corrupting by another males as such.

Then of course nowadays society both is and trains us to be monogamous.


The OP makes a good point a lot of people (not all) will say they don't want anything serious right now which changes the instant someone suitable comes along. Plus saying you want something serious when you don't actually have anything is kinda a DLV "I want this but i'm not good enough to have it" almost.