A thread in this section on numbers game has got me thing about Approaches and gettin blown off And I JUST realised that I have not been blown off anytime in the 4 MONTHS!! in fact in my 8 months of approaches I have wow.. been blown off only 4-5 times I can count them on one hand!!!!!


I have made not very many but close to 150 approaches and have got numerous dates and numbers...so what do I do....... Well firstly I am not what you'd call a very good looking guy I'd say I'm average to below avg. But I always maintain good hygine and the way I dress and style and smell I send out a strong message to the girl that I know about style and fashion more than she does, thus higher social status.

I convey to her that I'm not interested in gettin her to bed or even talk to her if she is not interestin enough!! When I'm out gaming I talk to everyone from guys, mixed groups married couples thus creating a social value. I do that natually because I love to listen to what people have to say and thinking of it now it probably creates an attraction !!!

I dont want to talk about myself but this just got me thinking.... I would walk away with 4-5 numbers sometimes make out with both friends or some other girl and the funny part is they would see me making out with another girl and yet make out with me too ! I guess the fact that I walk around with "this is my world, I am having a good time and I dont need you" probably triggers the attraction switch in women


SORRY JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY IN MY THOUGHTS

Dont you mean blown out?

Well done sounds like you've had some great experiences.

Not everyone will share the same opinion but I find with myself, that if I'm not getting blown out for long periods of time, it means I'm not challenging myself enough, or I'm opening too many easy sets.

That's ok if what you're after is simply f-closes, but one of my goals also involves self-development. I am at my best when I am failing.

It's really amazing to see the wheels turn and cogs grind in a HB's head when you go up GM/apocalypse style for instance. It's a non-verbal and verbal side of the world I had never seen before. Expressions on a face I never thought existed. Ad infinitum.

kudo for you buddy

Thanks. When I started off I would do a lot of approaches. Sometimes 11 a night. but now I dont need to or rather dont have the time to do soo many approaches because every approach leads to a great conversation for 45 mins to an hour and you are actually enjoying the chat. It goes beyond just picking numbers.

Whts GM/apocalypse style?

I like the non-verbal style in clubs because they are simply soo loud. I had heard David D say somewhere that he once had a friend who just walked into a club made eye contact and w/o a single spoken word made out with the girl. I have tried that quite a few times and it works brilliantly.

Rafiel, thanks. This got me thinking and I tried to look back at all my dates and noticed one thing. They were all tall between 5'8-5'11 brunetts, thin not skinny, white women. I realized that prolly thats my kind and I instantly get attracted to them but not only that but I think these girls too get instantly attracted to me and hence the chemistry strikes from the get go. I have also tried to think and I figured that for tall blondes I dont make a direct approach but generally work the room or open an adjecent set before opening them, and hence probably the social proof doesnt get me blown out.

I didnt know what exactly was my type untill I started thinking on your comment and my approaches. But yes, I have had more blown outs while trying to figure this thing out in the last few weeks and hence the number has gone up hahahaaa

I went through a streach where I didn't get blown out at all for a couple months after I started. Pretty much all situational openers & very indirect game. Great for confidence starting out. If you go indirect & do it correctly you hardly ever have to worry about rejection. I had some successes but my consistancy turning these interactions to closes wasn't so great.

I'm much more direct now. I decided that if you talk to a girl in a bar, she knows what's really up so you just as well own it & go strong. If your confidence is blazing you really don't have to worry about blow outs either. If I do get much blow out's it's because the girls get nervous & intmidated & eject, which im trying to calibrate for those. I might get 1 semi bad reaction a weekend, but it's well worth it for me because going in strong makes the rest of the game easy.

I agree, going strong and direct is sooo much better and saves sooooo much time and work. Its the lazy man's way of getting laid I'd rather go direct towards the end of the night because it is soo much less work and I dont have to do a much. Also getting in strong makes the rest of the game sooo easy.

I have also tried openers I have heard in this forum such as 'girls what are the chances we are having a threesome tonite' and never have I got a scary reaction!!!

I've shortened my opener to just "hello" . That's it. Pretty much my only direct opener. Simple, simple word to say, & I think you can say it pretty sexy. "Hello" and a long look/ semi smirk is my style. The confidence & tonality/expression says everything that needs to be said & just the confidence I have been stepping with recently the girls are stunned, like I dropped a bomb on them. If they don't say anything I follow up with you seem fun or you seem friendly to release the tension. If they still haven't recovered enough to respond. Just ask them "are you" & that gives them a chance to say yes no. Automatically gives you frame control.
Try less to impress. I learned a valuable lesson this weekend from a 26 year old dude I befriended at the bar. I've hung out with the guy & his friends probably 5 times at the bar I frequent. Cool dude. I asked him what he did once, & he said worked at the hospital, I didn't really think much of it. Figured he was in administration. Came out last week from one of his friends he was a doctor. The fact he was a Dr was impressive, but I was blown away how he down played it & went out of his way not to come off as impressing. Hell if I worked that hard it be hard not to drop that especially when asked. Basicly try not to look cool or impress. Basically i'm going to strive for that.

What's the next step after getting blown off? I always feel like when I get blown off that at least a couple of other people around saw what happened, and now I've lost a lot of social value. I guess what I fear is being seen as this guy that just goes around opening every set and getting rejected by every set, one after the other, which of course only snowballs.

I guess the main thing is to break away first when you can sense there isn't a good connection or good IOI's, thus avoiding the likelihood of getting rejected? But it all depends on how well people read the body language. If I'm watching you walk up to a girl, talk to her for a while, but she avoids eye contact, doesn't laugh, faces away, blank face, and then you walk away after 1 minute, how can I possibly not know exactly what just happened? I'd say that just as watching you get this chick to light up, kino with you, laugh and talk animatedly and clearly enjoy your presence adds a ton to your social value, when the reverse happens it takes away just as much from your social value. Which creates a self-reinforcing prophecy of failure for the rest of the night.

Thing to remember bro. Most of the people in there are so caught up in how others are viewing them they could give a shit about you. If they do care about you they might care for 5 seconds and then start worrying about themselves again.

Honestly though I think that most dudes at least respect other dudes for actually trying. Think of them as your cheerleaders because you've stepped up & are atleast trying where as most are chumpping it up on the sidelines. The chumps and haters automatically make you cooler because they haven't got the balls to do it.

Women you just need to avoid bad crash and burns. If you are just starting out, I suggest situational openers. I started with randomly making conversation about some observation. Usually at the bar where I am there with purpose & could throw it over my shoulder. I said things like "you look bored on your cell phone" or commented on an item of clothes or drink. If they bite run the set, if not move on. No one really notices.

Thanks for the great response! I don't want to overthink or overanalyze anything, but on the other hand, thinking through and analyzing social interactions in minute detail is kinda the whole point of this community isn't it? =p

Well, you can also take that as a bad thing, maybe you are playing it too safe? You now, you have to go over the line, to find out where the line is...

~TK

A wise man told me once.. "bitches are like busses. If you miss this one, the next one will be here in 15 minutes."

If you approach and are attempting a positive and lighthearted interaction and you get blown off, screw it. No point in taking something like that personally. There could be a lot of reasons a girl blows you off that really have nothing to do with you. Maybe the last guy that hit on her upset her and now you approach so she is in a bad mood already and just blows you off etc. It's still your reality so interpret it in a positive way.

I don't think getting a rejection is a DLV. It's only a DLV if you walk away looking like your mother just spanked you and sent you to your room. If you walk away and keep your smile, people may very well see that as a DHV because someone else being rude didn't phase you. (assuming you are not being an ass about anything)

Also, if you come across as if you don't really care what she thinks about you anyways, then a rejection from her won't bother you and you can get on to finding someone with a much better vibe to talk to. Point is, you said hi, she rejected it in one way or another.. move on. At least you know now and you won't be walking around all night wondering if you might have hit it off. That takes balls!

If rejections still bother your inner game and you have a hard time getting around that, then perhaps use eye contact etc and scout for IoI's first and then directly approach. That way you know they are interested and most likely won't reject you. OR, if you are unsure how they will react to you opening their set, then open the set with a fast comment as you walk by and just keep going. It's like a shit test for them. If they laugh etc (IOI) then come back a few minutes later. If they just look at you like they were annoyed just smile and keep going and don't turn back, you basically just blew them off for not responding positively.

A great quick opener that I thought about one day for example.. you are walking by a solo HB who is texting or whatever on her cell phone. As you walk by you can say something like, "Now how are you supposed to call me, I haven't even given you my number yet!" Or perhaps.. "Oh crap! My phone is about to die.. I might not get that text!" It's cocky funny and if they laugh then great, if they give you a crappy look.. just laugh and keep walking. Truth is, either way it really is funny and either way there are more women ready to be opened.

Anywho.. Peace

~Skailz~

Rejection does hurt but you cant take them to heart. I remember one time I was with my buddy at a bar and he saw this hot cheerleader and he approached her. For some reason she poured her beer on him. An entire glass of beer on him It was helarious. Later I asked him what did he say to get her soo mad and he said he used one of Mystery's negs (fake hair & fake nails).

Nobody in school remembers this though it wasn't long time back.

BTW, my buddy fucked her in the back of his truck 6 months later and people remember that