Keeping the conversation going by not asking questions.



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:20 am 
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One of the hardest things for me in transitioning away from AFC questions is filling that 'getting to know you time' with other things.

There are many problems with the 'where are you from/what do you do/how many times a day do you shit/ kinds of questions. One huge problem with questions early in a set is if the question is a yes/no question, you are likely to get a yes/no response and then as the PUA your stuck with some kind of lame "that's cool" response and then its on to the next boring question, maybe another for good measure then eject.

The other huge problem with non yes/no questions is if they are open ended (not yes/no questions) then you may get a narrative response, but your target is taking control of the frame by phrasing her response the way she wants to.

So - I've been trying out a technique of making statements instead of asking questions:

You look like you are from Gobungo.

Let me guess you are a firefighter/cold case detective/undertaker.

Your name is Sarah - that must be Armenian.

The cool thing about this is she will probably tell you what she really does, and if she likes your vibe you can roll right into roll playing.

Nothing is canned and each set is fresh because you are measuring up your target and trying pick something that you think will fit her.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:05 pm 
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The other great thing you can do is ask open ended questions. Instead of asking mostly close ended questions like Where you from, what do you do, that typically elicit an one word answer ask something better and more open.

What was growing up like for you?

-She can tell you about young ages
-Where
-High School
-Friends
-And more

I think you all get the idea but this has truly helped me a lot in building comfort and keeping dialogue going.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:50 pm 
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Quote:
There are many problems with the 'where are you from/what do you do/how many times a day do you shit/ kinds of questions. One huge problem with questions early in a set is if the question is a yes/no question, you are likely to get a yes/no response and then as the PUA your stuck with some kind of lame "that's cool" response and then its on to the next boring question, maybe another for good measure then eject.
As Don Draper says: One wants to be the needle in the haystack, not the haystack!
Quote:
where are you from/what do you do?
If she is not obese and has some form of hygeine, how many times do you think she has been asked this, Interpol ask these type of questions!

Questions like this are better:
Quote:
What was growing up like for you?


As they are not simply a yes and no answer. then you can draw things from what she says. If she is passionate about what she is talking about she will talk for ever, and be like "Oh I have never told anyone about this before?", or "No one has ever asked me before?"
Quote:
The cool thing about this is she will probably tell you what she really does, and if she likes your vibe you can roll right into roll playing.
The three women who I have been with that have spoken about their profession passionately are:

a) A prostitute
b) stripper, pole dancer, someone that is female and takes clothes, or dry humps you
c) peace core, animal protectors, disabled children helpers etc

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:16 pm 
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YES, this is good... i like it! :D

then when she says shes not from armenia, or whatever, you can disagree, and tell her shes lying, and say that shes got such a strong accent ur having trouble understanding what shes saying :D

i have used this one before, and its great because you can use it as an underlying theme all night and then in phone calls or later meet-ups. It also works well because if she says something you don't like, like she shit-tests you or negs you, you can just pretend you cant understand her, and tell her she needs to go and get english lessons :D

they usually love it (and often hit you) IOI :D

live2flirt


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:42 pm 
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Hey that's a nice subject and it's something that happens to me too..

I keep thinking of avoiding all the typical questions and then I can't find anything to say in order to keep the conversation going :P so I lose it.

I would appreciate even more ideas!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:59 pm 
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I like you and Jsmooth style ... I would agree the open ended questions that actually require a long explaination can be good ... and assuming things and making statements could turn into good negs like live2flirt said ... :P


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